Domestic
Adoption is such a wonderful blessing. The babies and children here in the United States are in such great need of loving,
Christian adoptive homes. Though we were called to a different avenue for our adoption, we have slowly started
to accumulate some knowledge. Thanks are primarily due to some wonderful Adoptive Parents from our Church.
Domestic
Verses International Adoption
*In
Domestic Adoption you can adopt a newborn baby or any age range of
children.
*In
International adoptions the youngest you will probably be able to adopt is
three to four months old depending on the country, though you can also
adopt
toddlers and older children as well.
*In
Domestic Adoption you must wait for a birth parent to choose you. This
could be months to years. You can never know. This is unless you choose
to adopt an older or waiting child Through the foster care system.
* Adopting
through foster care is a wonderful way to go. You can "foster/adopt" or wait to just be an adoptive family through the
system. The advantage of foster/adopting- You are usually given the first chance to adopt a child already in your house.
The negative- There is no guarantee that a child in your house will ever be available for adoption. Remember these children
have usually been removed from their homes, thus are guaranteed to have suffered neglect or abuse.
*In International
Adoption there are often many children available and though
there usually
is a wait, you will get a child (after following the necessary
steps
to do so) usually within a set or average amount
of time.
*In Domestic
Adoption "Open Adoptions" are often available and you will
know
much of the history and health background of your child.
*In International
Adoption you may know nothing or very little of the birth
parents
history or health.
*Depending
on the State that you live in, college may be paid for if you adopt through the Foster Care System.
As you can
see there are positives and negatives through both avenues. There is no right choice, just the right choice for you.
Wanting
to Adopt A Baby?
Three
different agencies have come to light when considering adoption of a newborn.
Christian
Homes of Abilene
Though not
strictly Church of Christ, they have many Church of Christ Affiliations. This
agency works with birth mothers across the United States. They seem to be very
Christ centered and prayerful when it comes to this wonderful endeavor. A very dear family from our Church had adopted
through them with a positive experience and outcome.
www.christianhomes.com
Buckner
I have heard very positive things about their treatment of the birthmothers. A family in our Church adopted through this agency and was very pleased. The link to their site is
http://www.buckneradoption.org
Christian
Works for Children
This
is a Church of Christ organization that we have heard wonderful things about. We also know some great people that are
on the board there. They do many other great things through their program.
http://www.christian-works.org/adoptionworks/
Wanting to Adopt or Foster a Toddler/Older
Child
Recommended Agency (Christian Agency that Works with the State)
Gladney Center for Adoption
http://www.adoptionsbygladney.com/html/domestic/index.php
Toddler Adoption
When you want to adopt a toddler through the state it can look impossible.
Most state websites say there are no children available between the ages of 0-2. Yet, if you call an agency that works with
the state you may find it otherwise. This happened to some friends of ours who brought home a precious 15 month old
boy . Here are some facts and suggestions...
*Some toddlers that are available may be in sibling sets with older children.
*Don't just check with the state, but agencies that work with the state.
*Just because you foster adopt, doesn't mean you have to accept a child
(in many states) whose parental rights have not been terminated. This is a very hard decision, but we do know those
whose hearts have been broken when they were not able to adopt a wonderful blessing already in their home. Fostering
is very important and we urge you to think about this ministry. Foster families are very needed.
*If you choose to foster/adopt you will have the first choice to adopt
a child in your home once parental rights are terminated.
*You can also seek an adoption through a non-state program.
Adopting
an Older Child
Basic
Overview-Very General and Can Vary
1. You can apply to adopt through the State or
with an agency that works with the state. You then receive and submit Medical clearance, fingerprints, statement of
faith (if it is a Christian Agency you are working with), letters of reference etc.
2) You will most likely
need to attend a 2-3 day training session (all day training) as required by the state. This may very per state.
3) Home study.
4) You then will wait for Home Study approval.
This can vary, but often takes about 6-8 weeks.
5) Matching. This is when your Social Worker sets down an attempts
to match a child with a family.
6) Staffing. This is when all SW's gather and
all information on the child is
shared IF your family has been selected as a potential family
7) Acceptance.
We accept the referral based on all of the written information
we have been given and interviews with foster parents and
SW's
8) Visits. Three visits with the kids prior to moving them to your home. This can vary per state.
9) You
then have supervised placement for at least 6 months.
10) Finally you go to court to complete the final adoption.
Thank you Amanda for sharing this information
with us!
Children in the Foster Care System
Adopting US orphans
Many US orphans are children who are wards of the state after being removed from neglectful
or abusive homes. Every US state and territory has a governmental agency charged with the protection of children (often
called Child Protective Services, or CPS). When a report comes in that a child is being abused or neglected, the state mobilizes
this unit first to investigate. If the allegations are substantiated, a team of people decide if the children are in imminent
danger. If they aren't, then in-home services are given to the family to help them in the areas they are lacking. Social workers,
therapists, and other specialists work with the family to teach parenting skills, to secure stable employment, to make and
reach goals like house cleaning or transportation, etc. If the in-home services don't help over a long period of time, or
if the children are in imminent danger, then the children are removed from the home.
The family is given a plan of what needs to be done to have the children return home. This plan
is individualized for each family's needs, but it might include maintaining steady employment, going to rehab and taking drug
screenings, taking parenting or anger management classes, getting services like food stamps or WIC, moving away from an abusive
relative or friend, moving in with a supportive friend or family member who can help watch the children and keep the parent
accountable, and so on. While the family "works the plan," the children are put in temporary homes, called foster care.
At this point, the parent's legal rights to determine where the child lives and goes to school, decisions on medical care
and treatment, etc are suspended and in their absence these needs are taken care of by the state. The parents are still the
children's legal parents, but they temporarily don't have any of the legal rights that go with that. The state feeds, clothes, treats, and houses the children through group homes, residential treatment centers, and foster
care and it makes all important life decisions for the children until the parents are able to do so.
The state hopes to keep the children with family, and if they are unable to place them with family
then fictive kin relationships are often recognized, which are friends who are like family. In some states, placement
with kin is treated the same as placement in foster care, meaning the relative must become a licensed foster home and follow
the strict foster care rules. In other places, kin placements are much more lax and follow a different set of rules. In all
states and territories, the goal of foster care is to reunite the children with their families
of origin and everything is geared to make this a reality. Most children in foster care have supervised visitation with their
parents while the parents work the plan and some have unsupervised visits with extended family members likes aunts and
uncles or grandparents who aren't able to keep them all the time. As the parents work the plan, the children are transitioned
back home where in-home services can continue. Unfortunately, some parents can't or won't do what is necessary to make a safe
home for their children. If, after all other avenues have been exhausted, the children would not be safe to return home, a
team of people including social workers, case workers, therapists, supervisors, attorneys, etc come together and decide to
go to court and ask a judge to terminate parental rights. When the judge does this, the children becomes orphans and wards
of the state. At this point, the state tries to find another family to adopt the children. Unfortunately, many of these children
are never adopted because they are older (often 3 and up), have siblings, and are minorities. The statistics about their well-being
and quality of life should they not be adopted and subsequently age out of the system (as many unfortunately do) are sadly
depressing. Many states offer incentives in the form of subsidies (monthly payments until the children turn 18, health insurance,
etc) to try to encourage families to consider adopting these children, with greater incentives for older children, minorities,
sibling groups, and special needs.
Approximate Cost of Adopting Through the System (Not through an Agency the Works with the
State System)
The total costs involved with adopting a child through the foster care system are minimal and
are usually in the range of $0 to $2500. The homestudy, mandatory training classes, and licensing are usually all free.
Some families choose to retain their own lawyer for the adoption, which usually costs up to aforementioned $2,500. The only
other costs involved are those things needed to prepare the home for certification, like a fire extinguisher and a locking
box to store medicines in, which are not already present. In some places, the cost of a fire inspection, which will usually
range between $0 and $50, is the responsibility of the adoptive family. The only other real cost is that of traveling
to and from the local office for the training and coordination. All these related costs are able to be applied to the adoption
tax credit offered by the federal government, which means whatever you spend up to their limit (which is $12,150 for
2009) is deducted from your tax liability. Any subsidy awarded for the adoption is not considered income and will not be taxed.
If you get an adoption subsidy when you adopt a child out of US foster care, you can claim the full amount of the
federal limit (which is $12,150 for 2009) as a tax credit, even if you spent less.
How Working with the State Works
There are three main categories of children who are in the care of the state.
The first is foster children. The plan for these children is to return to their families of origin. They stay in homes that
are licensed as foster homes until they can return home safely. The foster parents take them to school, doctor appointments,
help them with homework, toss around the football, discipline misbehavior (according to the child's individualized case plan
and the state's discipline standards), reinforce any work from therapy, and model a positive family experience for the children.
For doing this, they are paid a per diem (daily) rate and can be paid other occasional amounts like clothing allowances,
camp costs, etc, as necessary. These benefits vary greatly depending on the state, county, and agency the foster family has
chosen to work with. If the child has higher than usual needs, he is placed in a therapeutic home. These homes have more training
for working with children who have specialized needs like overcoming severe trauma, requiring specialized medical care
like G-tube feeding, etc. The therapeutic parents are paid more for the greater attention these children need, and less children
are usually allowed in these homes. Some children have severe needs and they are placed in treatment facilities with full-time
staff who can care for them. These staff are also licensed through the state.
The second main category of children in state custody are dual-tracked or on concurrent planning.
The plan for these children is to reunite with family if possible, and to prepare for being adopted in case it isn't possible.
Some states do not allow families to have a dual foster/adopt license, seeing it as a conflict of interests. If the children were
in foster homes, they will usually be moved into foster/adopt homes once the case goal is changed to concurrent planning.
For this reason, many people who solely intend to adopt choose to become foster/adoptive parents. The children moved into
their homes are often considered "low risk," meaning the parental rights are most likely going to be terminated and when the
children are free for adoption, the foster/adoptive parents will most likely be able to be the ones to adopt them since
the children are already in their home and bonded to them. While it is called low risk, it is not "no risk." If a family member
wants to adopt the child, his status as kin will usually trump a foster parent's desire to adopt the children. If the parents
all of a sudden start working their plans, the children might go back home. People who want to adopt infants almost have
to be foster/adopt parents because the process of terminating the parental rights often takes 1-2 years from the time the
children are first brought into state custody, making very few babies available for adoption. If and when the parental rights
are terminated, the children become free for adoption, and the foster/adopt family is officially chosen to become the adoptive
family, the adoption is filed. Not always, but frequently, the 6 month waiting period is shortened or eliminated because the
children have been in the home over 6 months already.
The third main category of children in state care are those who are legal orphans, whose parents'
rights have been terminated, and who are waiting for adoptive families. Adoptive families are licensed differently in the
different states, but these families will not foster children. Hopeful parents put in their homestudies for those children
they would like to parent and after a lengthy selection and matching process which involves the prospective families
being given all of the information and documentation on the child's history, one family is chosen as the best match for a
child's needs and personality and asked if they would like to adopt the child. If they say no at that point, the back-up family
is asked. If they say no, the entire process starts over. When a family says yes, that child then begins a transition
process of getting to know the new family through visits and overnight stays. The length of this process depends on the child's
needs and could take anywhere from a week or two to many months. When the child moves in, it is as an adoptive placement.
The parents do not receive a per diem pay. If an adoption subsidy was awarded, it begins being paid at this time.
The adoption proceedings are filed, the new family becomes her legal family, the child takes the new family's name, etc. The
adoption isn't finalized for 6 months, though, meaning the parents share a sort of joint-custody with the state. They must
abide by the state's rules during these 6 months, which includes putting children in public school (which is able to be waivered,
but doesn't happen very often), not using physical discipline like spanking, and other random things (like no trampolines
in some states). If things unexpectedly went terribly awry, the adoption would disrupt and the child would go back into state
care. If things went as planned, the adoption would be finalized in 6 months. At that time, the state no longer would have
a say on anything in the house (unless the parents become neglectful or abusive, in which case they could remove
the children from the home, just as they could from any other).
Thank
you so much to Christina who provided the above information!
Are You Pregnant?
At the age of fifteen my best friend found out she was pregnant. As a
Christian she knew she had made some wrong choices and had already broken up with her boyfriend of eight months (before
she found out). I remember putting my hand on her stomach and feeling the
baby’s little feet kick me. I thought at that moment “No matter how
this child came about, it is a blessing from God”. It may be hard to feel
the blessing in it right now, but know that God is holding you and the child within you.
You are a blessing (not just this child). Do not let anyone tell you any
different. You may have sinned, just like the rest of us, but God
has a purpose for you and a plan for your life.
You have a lot of decisions ahead of you, to keep your baby or give your
baby up for Adoption. Talk to someone. If you can, talk to your parents. Talk to a Christian Counselor that has experience with situations such as yours. There are toll free lines where you can do just that.
Remember, a good Christian counselor will try to help you in your decision, NOT make it for you or say that their way
is the only way. God bless you.
Pregnancy Hotline
Number
1-800-592-4725
Christian Homes of Abilene Pregnancy Hotline
We have
known those who have chosen to keep their child and those that have decided to give their child up for adoption.
Both of these options can be a God given blessing.
If
you do decide on the Adoption Alternative here are two wonderful Agencies that can help you.
They provide counseling to insure that you are positive about your decision .You can also pick the parents you wish
to adopt your child. It is your choice.
http://www.buckneradoption.org/I-AM-PREGNANT/open-adoption.html AND
www.christianhomes.com
