The official service was Sunday, October 26th, from 1:00 pm to 5:00 pm at Ansche Chesed. 

A very special "Thank You!" goes to everyone who helped make the service possible. Everyone who contributed their talent and their time is appreciated! A special "Thank You!" goes out to everyone who helped with fundraising. The money went to kosher refreshments, prayer sheets, and DVDs for everyone. This afternoon would not have happened without our dear friends and family. Again, thank you all!!!

Prayers and peace readings from Siddur Sim Shalom, the Conservative Jewish Siddur (prayer book), were presented by Rabbi Bonita Taylor, Cantor Shira Belfer, family members, and friends. 

Due to technical problems, almost all of the two hours of prepared video footage were not shown, but that meant longer time for the Rabbi, Cantor, speakers, and singers as well as time for additional speeches and songs. There is a CD of Carl's video clips -- Carl's cable TV show, two slide shows, and clips of Carl hosting a Clearwater concert. Because of copyright laws, musical performances and slide show music are not on the disk. Still, if you want to keep a piece of Carl's legacy, the disk is available. Let me know if you want a copy.

Here are some of my comments from the Ansche Chesed service. Below is a combination of what I planned to say and what I recall having said. For instance, I twice tried the "Song of Songs" reading before I got it out without crying (about an hour later than prepared). 

******************** = passage of time / other people presenting

Welcome everyone! First, some business: performers, please sit next to the screen during the video that precedes your set <no video between sets -- I spoke in stead>. I’m hoping to move things along as quickly as possible so that we’ll have plenty of time for (Kosher) cookies, fruit, and veggies. I want to thank all of the Ansche Chesed staff, volunteers, and financial contributors; without you, this service never would have happened. Please, take home a book (or several) from the table in the back. If you can afford a contribution, that would be helpful too. This is for you, Carl! <4 min. of Carl on video finally shown at end>

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The Song of Songs has become very important to me. Here are a few lines from the "Song of Songs" that I was going to remove from this service, but I'll try to read them.

“Oh, for a kiss from your lips,

for your love is better than wine.

You are fair, my beloved, you are fair.

Your eyes are doves.

Like an apple tree in the forest

is my darling among men.

I delight to sit in his shade,

his fruit is sweet to my palate.

The turtledove’s cooing is heard in the land.

Hark, my beloved! Here he comes,

leaping over mountains, bounding over hills.

And thus does my love speak to me:

Arise my darling, my fair one, and come away.

O, my dove, in the cranny of the rock, hidden by the cliff,

let me see your face, let me here your voice,

for your voice is sweet, your face is lovely.

My beloved has gone down to his garden of spices,

to browse in the garden and to gather lilies.

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.

He feeds among the lilies.

Let me be a seal upon your heart, upon your arm.”

Now, I am honored to introduce our friend, Rabbi Bonita Taylor. <"Song of Songs" was interrupted by "Jeanne trying not to cry." I recited the poetry later in the service.>

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Yizkor In Memory of a Husband, Siddur Sim Shalom, p. 519

“May God remember the soul of my husband <Kalman ben Haiya v'Moshe> who has gone to his eternal home. In loving testimony to his life I pledge charity to help perpetuate ideals important to him. Through such deeds, and through prayer and memory, is his soul bound up in the bond of life. Love is strong as death; deep bonds are indissoluble. The memory of our companionship and love leads me out of loneliness into all that we shared which still endures.  May he rest eternally in dignity and peace. Amen.”

<As I was reading, I changed "husband" to "partner" even though we often called each other husband and wife. I had practiced “husband” but it suddenly did not seem right.>

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Who is Carl? Carl was a registered Democrat who supported and voted for President Reagan and Senator D’Amato. He also volunteered for Democrats such as Bobby Kennedy, Al Lowenstein, Teddy Kennedy, and Bill Clinton as well as for two Democratic Party conventions. Carl was a tireless volunteer for causes ranging from the environment to hunger, always with an effort to preserve life on earth. Carl deeply felt his Judaism and especially liked the West Side Minion upstairs (but also went other places) for holidays, but he rarely went to shul on Shabbat.  Carl had a heart big enough for all of his family and friends, but made me feel special every time he hugged and kissed me. I desperately miss being in his arms. Carl’s love of music ranged from the Moody Blues to Pete Seeger. Carl once served on three volunteer boards of directors while finding time to enjoy music at home and in progressive venues. Carl loved life and was dedicated to making this community and world a better place for everyone.

I will remember Carl as the partner who left me way too soon. I miss his arms around me and mine around him and his gentle kisses... I miss more about Carl than I can possibly say here. I miss the man who shared my life through happiness and struggles. I miss Carl. My heart, my bed, my apartment, and my life all have holes. I have thought of myself as half of Carl and Jeanne for a long time. Carl, you are missed more deeply than I can say. <At one point, I even spoke of “Carl and Jeanne” as if we are one person.>

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The speeches above did not go off exactly as written, mostly because I became overly emotional and did not calm down enough to read well until half way through the service. Technical problems also threw me off. Just before leaving my house that morning, I gathered a yarmulke, a Yankees cap, a candle, and a tie. The yarmulke had a blue lining, so I turned it inside out to show off Carl’s favorite color. It and the Yankees cap represented two of Carl’s many passions. I burn a candle for Carl each evening that I’m home. I brought and lit the candle that I’m currently working on. The yarmulke and Yankees cap were placed on the left of the candle. A tie with a blue pattern was placed to the right of the candle. Carl enjoyed dressing up for family celebrations, but dropped the tie at work as soon as the dress code was relaxed (he disliked wearing a tie to work). What I did not explain to the audience was that I wore one of the dresses that Carl liked best to see me in and a black shirt with a cute bumble bee (bee hidden under dress) that Carl had talked me into buying. The service made me (and other people) cry. Hopefully, Carl’s spirit knows how much I continue to love him.