Our baby has experienced terrible losses in his young life.  Eric and I have already recieved a few negative comments about our parenting style, specifically, holding Aricin whenever he cries.  We hope this will not continue.

 

If you are the parent of an adopted child, we welcome your advice.  If you have biological children, we appreciate your concern and know you are well meaning.  However, Eric and I have researched attaching in adoption extensively.  Parenting adoptive babies is not the same as parenting biological babies.

 

Please allow us to do what is best for AJ rather than what society expects.

We made it.  We are still recovering from jet lag, but we're getting there.  Please take a look at our photos on the "pix" page.  We'll post more later, but I've already been away from my baby for too long!  Thank you, everyone, for your love and generosity during our adoption journey

Right now, we are preparing to leave Korea.  What a mix of emotions!  I have so enjoyed the people, places and flavors of Korea.  I will surely miss them.  I am overjoyed with my new son, and I cannot wait to show him our home. 

But today, I also think of JiHwan's birthmother, and I am very sad for her.  What a difficult decision she made in planning adoption for JiHwan.  I hope I can be exactly the parent she was hoping for when she placed JiHwan with Holt.

If you are adopting through Holt, I can't tell you emough good things about the vounteer guides.  Our guide, "Adella", truly touched our hearts.  She even came back and visited JiHwan last night, and gave him a gift of pokjumoni, a lucky purse with candy inside.  It is a traditional New year gift for children.  she also gave Eric and I and my parents each a 'pokjuree'.  It is a small, woven straw, grain scoop that is hung on the wall for luck at New Year.

Besides the baby, meeting Adella was the highlight of our visit.  Adella, I know you are reading this, so thank you again.  You made our time here very special.

See you all at home!  

We picked up our baby yesterday for good, no turning back now. We brought flowers for the foster mother and met her daughter in law and her 2 granddaughters, they were very sweet. Then, as Bill Cosby said, they made us take him home. After about 2 hours of crying and screaming, I was a little worried. But, I had a secret weapon, my great singing voice. Magically it seemed to calm him down. He fell asleep in my arms and now I was the one crying. What a sweet boy Aricin is, I love my son so much. We had a great night with our new family member. We played and slept and then played some more. He is perfect!

-Eric aka dh

PS  For those scoring at home, we saw another fender bender.

Poor little Aricin!  Whenever he sees my face he starts crying.  So much so that Mrs. Kim, his foster omma said, "He's never cried like this before".

We were able to meet with him twice so far.  Normally there is only one scheduled meeting before "family day", but in view of his complete rejection of us, everyone felt it would be better if we spent another hour or so with him.  In just a few hours, he'll be in our arms forever.  Please pray for our family as we make this transition.  I believe it will be especially difficult for Ari and his foster mom.

In other news; siteseeing has been wonderful.  After our first meeting with Aricin we took a taxi to Insadong.  Insadong is a popular arts and crafts neighborhood near city hall.  It is filled with galleries, street vendors, restaurants and just a few of the requisite cheap souvenir shops.  On the way there I overpaid the driver by about 70,000 won.  That is equal to about $70 US.  Ouch!  It didn't stop me from spending a few bills in Insadong.

We saw a fender bender in Insadong.

On our way back from Insadong we stopped at Hotel Seokyo.  Another Holt family, Jenny and Brent, are staying there.  They're from Alabama and are also here to adopt a son.  I met Jenny online, and it was really exciting to be travelling at the same time and to hang out here in Korea.  Jenny and I went into a hanbok (traditional Korean clothing) store and Jenny bought a hanbok for her son, Paxton.  The store was stunning and the women were so friendly.  In fact, other than a few quizzical stares, especially from children, everyone is friendly and helpful.

Yesterday, after seeing JiHwan in the morning, we had a volunteer guide (and her best friend)  show us around.  They were two 18 year old girls who had just graduated high school.  We had a blast.  We went to the palace of the last emperor of Korea and saw the first ever water clock.  Apparently, the emperor did much for the advancement of science.  He kind of reminded me of our Ben Franklin.  It was very cold, and started to snow, so we decided we were done with outdoor activities.   We took the girls to Outback Steakhouse for lunch.  After our meal, I asked to be taken to a bookstore I had read about called Kyobo.  Nothing can prepare you for the place.  It was so crowded.  They sell everything there!  I bought some bilingual books for the baby, and mom bought him some Korean children's music CDs. 

We saw a fender bender.  Do you notice a pattern here?

We finished our day at the Korean War Memorial and Museum.  It is an amazing place.  We weren't able to tour the outside because of the weather, but the inside alone is 5 stories.  We were only able to get through 2.  I really think the war museum is an all day event.  We learned about ancient warfare and also the Korean War.  Eric and I realized how biased western history can be when we noticed that while Europe was just barely out of the dark ages, Asian countries were already developing guns and cannons.  We saw an early 1500s example of a machine gun.  I think Europe still thought the world was flat.

The subway is really neat here.  There are all kinds of vendors and stores and galleries in it.  It's a whole underground world.  Many Korean women are very elegent and are always dressed like models.  I saw the most beautiful coats yesterday.  You shoud see the girls run on the uneven bricks and cobbles and up and down the subway stairs in their three inch heels.

Rachel, the scottie dog barrette trend has passed- I've only seen two the whole time I've been here... 

 

After the morning started out disasterously, we made it.  The driver for our airport shuttle (whom we confirmed with 3 times) did not show up at the house on Sunday morning.  After waiting a half hour, my dad used his EVOC skills to get us to the airport on time.  Parking will be a fun bill to pay when we get back.

Wow, that is a long flight.  I enjoyed watching the scenery change out the airplane window.  Portland to San Francisco. Then San Francisco north through Alaska and the Bering Straights (I got a glimpse of Mt. McKinley).  Down through Siberia and Mongolia.  Then finally Seoul, which looks strangely like Portland, with the Han River running through the middle of it.  Wouldn't that be a cruel trick, Eric said.

When we got to the guest house Mom and Dad were super tired and went to sleep, but Eric and I got dressed and roamed the neighborhood.  We drank our first bottle of soju (yum!) with banchan.  We saw a fender bender.  We bought Cheetos and Starbuck's Frappuccinos at a gas station mini mart.  Weird.  Everyone stares at us.  People on motorbikes cross in the crosswalk.

I've heard a lot of women say they feel huge while visiting Asian countries.  I actually feel very small.  Seoul is an enormous city.  Very few of the signs are in English and everyone is in a hurry.  I feel like an ant that could be run over at any time.  It is exhilarating!

We will meet our son for the first time in just a few hours.  I can't believe it.  Just being here in Seoul feels so surreal.  I am so nervous and excited.  I hope my best is good enough for him.  

Today is the day our dreams for the future came true.  We will be leaving Portland to pick up Aricin JiHwan Sunday, February 11th.  We have a layover in San Franciso and then go on to Seoul.  We will meet our son for the first time on Tuesday, February 13th (his 4 month birthday).  We become a family forever on Thursday, February 15th!!!  We get to spend a couple more days in Seoul getting to know each other.  We fly back to the states on Saturday, February 17th.  We have the same layover, and go through customs in San Francisco.  We should arrive in Portland at 5:43 pm.

I can't believe the day has finally arrived.  We are overwhelmed with joy.  If you would like to meet us, please feel free to come to the airport.  We can't guarantee how we will look and smell, but we sure would like AJ to see a room full of people when he watches his airplane day video!

The wait is getting harder.  As in really hard.  I had myself all psyched for the wait until today.  The levee has broken, and when the levee breaks...  Where's Led Zeppelin? 

There is plenty I could be doing to keep myself busy.  I could put the finishing touches on Aricin's room.  I could start packing our bags. I could post the promised baby room pics to the website here.  I could make some meals and freeze them for when we get home.  Instead, I am caught in a holding pattern.  When's it going to end?

The only answer I do have is Holt Korea is going to be closed February 16th and 19th for Lunar New Year.  I would so love to spend Lunar New Year in Seoul!  However, the reality is, unless we get a call in the next day or so, we probably won't get the call until after the holiday.

I had really hoped to lay eyes on my baby before his 4 month birthday, February 13th.  I wanted him to be my little Valentine.  I'm sure I echo the sentiments of thousands of adoptive parents when I say I feel as though AJ is growing up without me, half a world away, and I can't do anything about it.  It just doesn't seem right, or fair.  But then again, Mom always said, "Life's not fair; deal with it"! 

Well, it's Sunday afternoon.  Sunday afternoon is a time when Eric and I get hopeful the coming week will bring our travel call.  Knowing we could get the call anyday now, I am overwhelmed by emotion.  I am humbled by the generosity our friends and family have shown us.  Aricin is lucky to have so many people who already love him.  I wonder if I will be a good mother.  Will I be able to teach him all he needs to know to grow up happy, confident and healthy?  Will I be able to give him effective tools to deal with racism, even though I have never directly experienced it?  Will I be able to instill pride in his birth culture, even though Eric and I are not Korean?  Will I be able to find the right words when he asks me why his birth mother chose adoption for him; and why I chose to take him from his homeland?  Even the simplest things worry me.  Will I be able to teach him to eat right and exercise, knowing my own habits are often lacking?  Years from now, will I keep calm, even when my last nerve is shredded by lack of sleep, too much stress and the last straw comes in the form of a smart-mouthed preteen comment?  Will I be able to slow down and enjoy learning to be a mom, rather than being plagued by worry?

Through it all, I look forward to visiting Korea.  Growing up, I never imagined my first steps away from North American soil would be taken in South Korea.  I can't wait to meet the people of Korea, "the Irish of Asia", as one travel book puts it.  I am also excited about spending the coming weeks home with Eric and Aricin, learning to be a forever family.

If you got this far, you are probably someone who cares about us deeply.  Thank you for your support and encouragement.  Thank you for your love.

Could it be?  Groundhog Phil did not see his shadow today!  We get to have an early spring.  Although, it really seems like it has been spring for about 2 weeks here.  The weather has been gorgeous!

Today we checked the mail and found our beautiful boy has I600 approval.  This is approval for us to classify him as an immediate relative.  We are so excited!  This is the last document we needed before getting our travel call.  Hopefully his visa will be issued lickety-split and our travel call will come just as quickly.  Come on home, Aricin!