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Member Spotlights at Community Presbyterian Church |
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Member Spotlights at Community Presbyterian Church |
Elder Sue Edwards
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A
Season of Grace
Written by: Sue Edwards
Several years ago I read Gail Sheehy's New Passages in which she
explores in
detail her revised map of a second adulthood, a stage of life
that falls
roughly between the ages of 45-65. According to Sheehy the option
to start
adulthood anew is now open to us because we are healthier, live
longer and
can take the risk of embarking on a secret life dream.
These same
conditions as well as others present people in much later life
with yet
another chance to fill in the pieces that had been left undone in
younger
years. I call this period "a season of grace," a
time for completing one's
life cycle and reflecting on the meaning of past and present
experiences.
What follows are four personal stories that will give the reader
some idea
of how I came to my season of grace.
I was born two years before the great depression and twelve years
later
World 11 started. During this period my parents bought a
dilapidated old
beach house on the Jersey shore and embarked on the endless task
of
repairing and refurbishing. As difficult as those years
were my parents
extended their hospitality to invited friends and a general array
of service
men and young folks who showed up at any odd hour of the day or
night. The
kitchen was in constant use---every bed was filled, and the young
and hearty
slept on the beach. My father nailed a list of stringent
House Rules to a
conspicuous wall. There was never a violation. Although
there were few
amenities, blackout requirements and ration stamps for food and
gasoline, a
community spirit of "we're all in this together" made
it possible for this
little seashore retreat to flourish during one of the darkest
periods in our
country's history.
Family patterns are powerful conveyers of life style from one
generation to
the next. For years my husband and I have opened our home
to people from
other parts of the world. While there are considerable
differences, the
spirit of extending ourselves to others bears the stamp of my
parents'
legacy from two generations ago.
One very vivid
memory of my mother took place during a conversation in which
I asked her what it was like to be her age. Her
response was, " I never
thought I would be this old. It seems like it happened
suddenly, without
warning ---and here I am 75." I am almost that age
now. How many times
during the past few years I have thought of that conversation
wishing that
my mother could have had more opportunities to spread her wings
and fly into
a future. What would she have done with it?
As for me I spread my wings and flew. My husband and I have
traveled to
many places in the world but going to Africa was not on my dream
agenda.
However, when we were offered the opportunity to join the
Presbytery
Partnership for a three weeks mission to Malawi we accepted. Once
we arrived
in the synod of Blantyre our days were spent with people who are
centered in
an unshakable Christian faith. While the essentials of
food, water, shelter
and healthcare are scarce resources, love of God, Jesus, church
and family
are in abundant supply. We were welcome visitors invited to
share fully in
all of their rituals and celebrations. After three weeks we
left the 'warm
heart of Africa' with a sense of deep humility about who we are
and
gratitude that God called us to this shining jewel of a country
half way
around the world. Since returning we have remained active
in the
Partnership and connected to people in Malawi.
The 'then'
doesn't have much meaning unless it leads to a 'now' which opens
a door to a 'future'. My family of 'then' has grown into a
'now,' two adult
married children, and two almost adult grandchildren. Both
families live
near by. A few summers ago my husband and I lived out a
dream. We took our
whole family to Italy to share with them some of our favorite
travel
experiences. The reality of this trip far surpassed our
expectations. Yes,
we had fun, saw a lot, and ate well, but most importantly when we
arrived
home we were still friends greatly enriched by having been
together in a
foreign land.
Once upon a
time I had a grandiose dream that I would do something of social
value----something that would contribute to the world and make it
a better
place for at least a few folks. In mid-life I attended the
School of Social
Work at the University of Pittsburgh where I pursued a clinical
path. I
ended up working in a setting where there was maximum instruction
about
diagnosis and technique and minimum attention paid to the
humanity of the
people in treatment.
During my professional years I came to understand that listening
to and
being with are crucial elements for the healing and well being of
the
patient. Even so called victims need to tell their stories
and know they
are heard. However, what I learned after 22 years of
practice is that
long-term empathy, so prevalent in our culture today, diminishes
the desire
of patients to take responsibility for their problems. While
therapy and
medication (if necessary) help people over rough times,
faith in God,
prayer, reading the Bible, and utilizing the supportive and
compassionate
community of the church can also be invaluable for anyone
suffering from an
emotional disorder.
My season of
grace overflows. I am deeply grateful to God for the shower of
gifts he has bestowed upon me. My children and grand
children who live
near-by, a loving and supportive husband, the compassionate
community of
CPCBA where there are warm caring people, a wonderful pastor and
a forgiving
God. Grace never ends.
Here is Sue's essay that was published in Revelations:
Two Women of Influence
About a year after my husband and I were married we moved into the house that Woody Cunningham now owns on Walnut Road in Ben Avon. Shortly after we were settled I became acquainted with two women who eventually played very important roles in my life. Billie, who lived next door and Lorraine who lived just down the street. Although very different, they had particular qualities that I admired and emulated. Both belonged to the then Ben Avon Presbyterian Church and were involved in socially meaningful ways in church and community. Both were models for me and both helped me to shape the spiritual direction of my life.
Billie had the heart of a missionary. For years she collected old cloths, stacked them in a corner of an enclosed porch and whenever possible held a sewing circle with anyone who could come. The cloths were sent over seas to countries devastated by World War II. The women who gathered in her home to replace buttons, mend torn knees, fix pockets, and repair in the best way possible the discarded items from closets and drawers around the borough were a testament to the living spirit of the church, the community and Billie. Her missionary work and grace without reward or acknowledgement extended far beyond the front door of her home and the boundaries of Ben Avon into the hearts of people throughout Europe.
Lorraine’s gifts were tenderness, mercy and fun. Her commitment was to healing, and her strength was in her genuine humility. She was a nurse, who took care of her husband’s aged mother along with many of us in the neighborhood when in times of medical or emotional emergencies. "The quality of (her) mercy was not strained." Her gentleness and kindness were ever present, as was her joyful participation in life. She loved being with people, gave wonderful parties, was a creative cook, but above all was always ready to serve others.
Although I did not realize it at the time, these two women had a great influence on my life. They, each in their own way, were powerful not because of position, wealth, or worldly success, but because their lives were filled with God’s grace and the fruits of the spirit. Whenever possible, they lived out in the world what they believed in their hearts. They were blessings in my life.
A few weeks after Sue's spotlight appeared, I got this e-mail from Georgia Smith Kennedy. She gave her permission to share it with you.
I am e-mailing you from Vancouver, British Columbia. I grew up in Ben Avon and was a church member at Ben Avon Presbyterian Church until 1967 when I moved to Vancouver. My sister, Cindy Wehner, continues to be a member of your church as well as her daughter, Stacey. Cindy forwarded the Member Spotlights from April, 2002, which I was so pleased to be able to receive. The Spotlight that was most interesting and very heartwarming for me was by Sue Edwards who was a former neighbor of mine on Walnut Road. I just wanted Sue to know how tearfully touched I was to read about the two women that meant so much to her in her early married life. Lorraine was my Mother and although she has been gone for so many years now (16), it is heartwarming to think she still is in other people's minds and thoughts. Sue, thank you so much for the very kind words you wrote about one of the most important persons in my life as well.
My kindest regards,
Georgia Smith
Kennedy
tannerjubilee@shaw.ca
Thanks Sue for allowing us to get to know you better! If you see Sue, let her know you enjoyed reading about her If you would like to volunteer yourself for a spotlight, please e-mail me at houser@nb.net, or call me at 412-732-9599.
Thanks, Susan
Houser
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