Ever since Eve gave Adam the apple, there has been a misunderstanding between the sexes about gifts.

The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so.

-W Inge

A midden is a pile of trash left over from the kitchen or dinner table.

The trouble with loving is that pets don't last long enough and people last too long.

-Annon

The only living parts of a tree are its thin layer beneath the bark called the cambium, its leaves, and the tips of its roots and branches.

Women manufacture far less serotonin, the key mood-regulating brain chemical, than men.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

-Dick Cavett

I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.

-Winston Churchill

Pleonexia is a clinical term for morbid greediness.

As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

-Old Irish Blessing

Every man desires to live long; but no man would be old.

-Jonathan Swift

War does not determine who is right- only who is left.

-Bertrand Russell

When we build, let us think that we build for ever.

-John Ruskin

The declawing of a pet cat involves surgery called an onychectomy.

Extreme remedies are very appropriate for extreme diseases

-Hippocrates

It is impossible to love and to be wise.

-Francis Bacon

Male and female sea turtles are about the same size.

Richard Cadbury invented the first Valentine's Day candy box in the late 1800s.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

-George Bernard Shaw

It is better of course to know useless things than to know nothing.

-Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Soap was considered a frivolous luxury of the British aristocracy from the early 1700s until 1862.

The wind is chill; But let it whistle as it will, We'll keep our Christmas merry still.

-Sir Walter Scott

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

-Dorothy Parker

The hides of mature female blue sharks are more than twice as thick as those of males.

 

Playing without fundamentals is like eating without a knife and a fork. You make a mess.

-Dick Williams

As valedictorian for her high school, actess Jodie Foster delivered her graduation speech in French.

 

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least.

-Earl of Chesterfield

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

We do not quite forgive a giver. The hand that feeds us is in some danger of being bitten.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.

-Warren Buffet

There is no education like diversity.

-Benjamin Disraeli

There is just one known species of ostrich in the world. It is in the order of Struthioniformes

 

Life is a foreign language: all men mispronounce it.

-Christopher Morley

Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.

-Dorothy Parker

More than 1,130,000 packages of Jell-O gelatin are purchased or eaten every day.

 

Charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

-Peter 4:8

A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the salesman to show him something cheaper.

-Anon

We trust, sir, that God is on our side. It is more important that we are on God's side.

-Abraham Lincoln

Nyctitropism is the tendency of the leaves or petals of certain plants to assume a different position at night.

 

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly: what is essential is invisible to the eye.

--Antoine de Saint-Exupery

A building in which silence is enforced, like a library or schoolroom is referred to as a "silentium."

 

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best.

--Bob Talbert

It is not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late.

--Emil Cioran

The superior man is distressed by the want of ability.

--Confucious

When they discover the center of the universe, many people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.

 

The faintest ink is more powerful than the strongest memory.

--Old Chinese Proverb

On December 15, 1854, Philadelphia began using the first street-cleaning machine.

 

There are more books about books than about any other subject.

--Michel de Montaigne

Male western fence lizards do push-ups on tree limbs as a courtship display for females.

 

Women want mediocre men, and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.

--Margaret Mead

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into but hard to get out of.

--Anonymous

Buy land, they're not making it any more.

--Mark Twain

One reason why I don't drink is because I wish to know when I am having a good time.

--Nancy Astor

Sour, sweet, bitter, pungent, all must be tasted.

--Chinese Proverb

It is not length of life, but depth of life.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn't have it.

--James Baldwin

The constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness.

--Benjamin Franklin

Opportunities are never lost. The other fellow takes those you miss.

--Anonymous

To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be a limit of the human spirit.

-Stephen Hawking

Happiness is not a destination, it is a method of life.

-Burton Mills

What great delight it is to see the ones we love and then to have speech with them.

-Vincent McNabb

The strongest principal of growth lies in the human choice.

-George Eliot

The greatest question is "What does a woman want?"

-Sigmund Freud

You come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

-Sam Keen

Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.

-Rev. Jesse Jackson

True love is like a ghost, which everybody talks about and few have seen.

-Francois LaRochefoucauld

Man cannot be uplifted, he must be seduced into virtue.

-Don Marquis

We can do anything we want to if we stick to it long enough.

-Hellen Keller

We trust, sir, that God is on our side. It is more important that we are on God's side.

-Abraham Lincoln

Love is being stupid together.

-Paul Valery

I wear my wife's eyeglasses because she wants me to see things her way.

-Jason Feinburg

Work as if you were to live a hundred years, Pray as if you were to die tomorrow.

-Benjamin Franklin

A good education is the next best thing to a pushy mother.

-Charles Schultz in Peanuts