A HUSBAND AND WIFE HAD NOT SPOKEN TO EACH OTHER FOLLOWING A FIGHT. By the fifth day, the husband realized he had a problem. He needed his wife to wake him up early to catch a plane for an important business trip. But he didn’t want to lose the fight by being the first to talk, so he left a not on the kitchen table. It read, “Please wake me up at 5 AM tomorrow morning.” The next morning when the husband woke up, it was 7 o’clock! Angry that he had missed his plane, he was about to yell at his wife for not waking him when he found a note next to his bed. It read, “Wake up! It’s 5 o’clock!”

Why do we find it so hard to say those two little words, “I’m sorry?” If we’re honest, most of us are better at remembering the people who should tell us that they’re sorry than we are at paying our own “sorry” debt. Yet if we could just apologize sooner we could save our friendships, family relationships, as well as a lot of time, energy, even money. A British study showed that 37% of people who had sued doctors would not have done it if their doctor had simply apologized to them.

The key in each situation is to be honest. Admit that since it took both of you to cause the problem of offense or misunderstanding, it will probably take both of you to get out of it. It takes a strong person to be the first to say, “I’m sorry.” Being angry is easy. Anybody can do that. So if you want to be unhappy and miserable, go ahead, don’t forgive or ask forgiveness. But don’t forget, “anger and unforgiveness is like fire: if you hold on to it, it will burn you.” However, “if you choose to forgive someone, you’ll be setting a prisoner free --- and discover the prisoner was you!”

Jesus Christ promises that if we’ll give Him total control of our hearts and attitudes, He will help us start seeing and understanding ourselves honestly and responsibly, so we’ll know when and how to apologize in each situation. It’s the only way we can be set free from the prison and fire of our own anger and unforgiveness.  ---  Guy Andrew

“A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger. *Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit. *Forgive each other, just as the Lord forgave you. *For where … strife is, there is confusion. *But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated.” PROVERBS 15:1 KJV, ECCLESIASTES ;7:9 NIV, COLOSSIANS 3:13; JAMES 3:16; JAMES 3:17 KJV

WE HAVE REASON TO SUSPECT OUR RELION IF IT DOES NOT MAKE US GENTLE, AND FORBEARING, AND FORGIVING --- if the love of our Lord does not so flood our hearts that it cleanses them of bitterness, and spite, and wrath. If a man is nursing anger, letting him mind become a next of malice, and hatred, and evil wishing, how can the love of God dwell in him?  --- Hugh Black (adapted)