Home | What there is to know about me | Links | Book Recommendations | Short Stories & Poems | Essays | Mailbag | Contact Me

Writing to an Audience of One

My name is Stu, and this weblog is my online journal. You'll find my opinions on a variety of topics as well as links to other things on the web that I find interesting. When the spirit moves me, I may also include longer essays, or add a short story.

iamgumbydamnit.jpg

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Essays on Stupidity
 
Like most people, I do my best thinking in the shower.  Of course, it would help if I were actually taking one when I did it (har har).  Some will argue that their best thinking is done while driving, or commuting, and that is when I usually fine tune my points, none of which are worth fine tuning.
 
So, while in the shower, I thought about this title, and started thinking of things in life that we give such high credence to, but are never really worth anything, only to pacify someone's penchant for control and order.  Like, why do Catholic's (or any religion) give out a certificate of baptism, as if we need it, like some 'green card' for Heaven.  As some of you have read here, you know my feelings about Catholics, and being a former Catholic (like being a former New Yorker, (and for those of you who are, you know what I mean)), I'm entitled to exposing the 'secrets'.
 
I'm digressing.
 
One thing I wonder about is the jobs many people have, that...well...are just outright stupid, or so pathetically easy (and good paying), that you wonder how they ever came about (and why you couldn't have a job like that!). 
 
For instance, under the category of stupid is the job of smelling arm pits.  The companies that make deodorant have teams of people checking to see how long, or powerful, their product is by testing on subjects, and then...well...smell pits to see if it really works.  I'm sorry, but some things aren't worth the benefits!  I can imagine some mom working there, going to each pit thinking, 'I'm doing this for my kids.'
 
Under the category of easy, those who play with toys comes to mind, (or shopping, or watching TV), and give their feedback.  Also runway models (I missed my calling!).  Okay, those aren't good examples, but I recall my father-in-law talking about a custodial worker at the Chrysler plant in Kokomo, IN.  The guy was union, and the only responsiblity he had was to care for two offices, which consisted of emptying two trash cans every day, dustmop the floor, and once every six months, strip and rewax the floor.  He wasn't allowed to clean any other office, or do any other work because of contract rules.  His time to do the job every day took a total of 15 minutes.  He spent the remainder of the 7 hours and 45 minutes reading newspapers, etc. (this was before internet).  When my father-in-law told me about this in the early ninety's, the annual income for that worker was over $50,000 per year.  He figured he was getting paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $250.00/hour for the work he actually did (come to think of it, I know a couple of pharmacists who fit this to a 'T'). 
 
And we wonder why our country is in such shambles.
 
Well enough for now.  I will bring up other topics as they push themselves into the area of my mind I like to call the pissing-me-off zone, (and when I can finally figure out how this stupid shower works).
 
(Footnote to todays post: On MSN today, they're running an article about amazing careers.  Writer is listed, with an average salary of almost $50,000/year.  Hmmm, that's almost $250.00/hour!)
9:22 am

Monday, June 9, 2008

The Shack, Part Three
 
I read through the book again, this time much slowly, trying to find what it is that has all the doctrine police's dander on end.  I read a rebuttal article by Wayne Jacobsen, from the Wind Blown Media website, discussing the points made about the book. 
 
I must admit, my first reaction about the issue of how Paul Young represents forgiveness was wrong.  I knee-jerked, so to speak.  Though I agree with Tim Challies's assertion on forgiveness NOT being unconditional, I have to say that it doesn't apply to what Mr. Young was expressing in The Shack.  The content in question, is from the chapter titled A Morning of Sorrows, and starting on page 227 (of the hard cover edition, third printing), is the discussion Mack has with God about forgiving the murderer.  After reading this several times, there is no indication to me that the author hints at God condoning unconditional forgiveness, but to pronounce forgiveness, regardless of the offender acknowledging their offense.
 
This, along with many other issues covered, were handled with truth, and loving care.  Mr. Jacobsen, as well as others who collaborated with the story, all agree that one needs to turn to the bible for the answers, and see if representation of scripture in this piece of fiction holds true.
 
I think its time we quit squabbling over nuance, and trivial matters.  These self-proclaimed doctrine police need to take the advice from Romans 14 & Colossians 2:18-23.   
9:24 am

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Afterthoughts on The Shack
 
Okay, I've come down from my high of yesterday, and started reading some reviews regarding the book.  In doing so, I forgot my own rule of "Whenever someone gives you their Two cents, it still makes you Ninety Eight cents short of a dollar!"
 
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and that is all it is.  Tim Challies does have some valid points, and I agree in part with one of them on the way Young presents the idea of forgiving the murderer.  I quote:
 
"Much of the story focuses on forgiveness. Mack has to learn to forgive first God (or at least to come to an intellectual understanding of why God was unable to intervene to save Missy) and then, at the book’s culmination, to forgive the murderer. I am adamantly opposed to the idea that we would ever need to forgive God for anything. However, because this teaching is seen only vaguely in the novel, I will pass over it for now and turn to another area of forgiveness—that of unconditional forgiveness.

Nowhere in Scripture will we find the idea that we can or should forgive an unrepentant person for this kind of crime. Rather, Scripture makes it clear that repentance must precede forgiveness. Without repentance there can be no forgiveness. This is true of God’s offer of forgiveness to us and, as we are to model this in our human relationships, must be true of how we offer forgiveness to others. So when, at the book’s climax, Mack cries out “I forgive you” to the murderer (who is not present and has not sought forgiveness) he cannot offer true forgiveness. Neither can true forgiveness exist where Mack is unable to pursue reconciliation with this man. Forgiveness makes no sense and means nothing if we require it in this way. It may make a person feel better about himself, but it cannot bring about true forgiveness and true reconciliation. And so Young teaches a therapeutic, inadequate and unbiblical understanding of forgiveness."

I can no more 'fake it till I make it' with my forgiveness, as with any other biblical attribute.  But I do understand Young's attempt to show how we need to bring God into the picture, even if the only thing I can do is say, "I believe, help my unbelief!"

I don't want to go into a drawn out discussion about every detail, my point is this story is FICTION.  Very good fiction at that, and just because it follows a Christian theme, it doesn't mean it should be theologically correct.  Since when does Christian Fiction equal Theology!  Its purpose, if done correctly, will point to the one and only book that will give us the answers (Piligram's Progress, Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, and other great works of fiction with Christian themes serve to do just that.) 

Characters are created beings in the imagination of the writer.  As a fledging fiction writer myself, it is very difficult for any author to divorce his feelings from his characters, even if the characters are strikingly different from the author's personality.  They are seen through the eyes of the author, and will carry to some degree the stereotypes that the author preceives.  As an author progresses through the craft of writing, they learn to let the character become its own person, yet still not fully void of the author's preception of them.  

I believe Mr. Young made a valiant attempt to present a nice picture of God.  I also believe the brouhaha surrounding this is only feeding into more people buying the book (which is a good thing), and God being who He is, will use it for His purposes as He sees fit.

Let's not forget that God doesn't need our help, but invites us to join him in telling others about His wonderful love.

11:12 am

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Shack
 
WHOA! (and I don't mean any whoa, but your "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" kind-of whoa!)  This story just oozes of so much of God's character, I can't tell you without ruining it!  William Paul Young, the author, weaves such an intricate picture of the triune God, you can't help but feel it resonate into every fiber of your being.  The parallelisms of the characters in the book with my own life, and what Mr. Young went through are almost too staggering for me to believe.
 
But I'm getting ahead of myself here.  Steve Brown's ministry at Key Life has helped me understand more about God's love in ways too lengthy to describe here.  Anyways, Eric, his producer at the sister website, Steve Brown, Etc., had been talking about this book, and mentioned Mr. Young would be their guest on the Friday show of Etc.  I bought the book on Thursday of last week, started reading (well, actually I read the forward, and the first chapter on The Shack website), and finished just a under an hour ago.
 
I am by nature a very detailed orientated person, so any nuance or tidbit dangling somewhere in a plot, theme, setting, dialogue, etc. tends to give me pause.  For example, in the story, the main character recalls a song he sung for his daughter (K-K-K-Katie, beautiful Katie...).  We sang this to our daughter when she was a baby.  There was another reference to a song being sung, or hummed, and I used this as a literary ploy in a story I wrote three years ago (and still in re-write).  Many, many other points stood out, but the icing for me was when I listened to the podcast on Etc. and Mr Young spoke about the abuse he endured as a child.  That did it for me!  By now the 'tapping on my shoulder' from God has become black & blue, and a permanent indentation!
 
I honestly believe these events occurring at this time in my life is no accident.  It's got me kinda spooked, but in a good way.  I see my therapist tomorrow, and can't wait to give him my copy to read.  Since so much relates to events in my life right now, I really need to talk and sort out some junk!
 
Keep all these people in your prayers!
12:48 pm

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

John Hagee's Unnecessary Apology
 
I think the title says it all, but I will indulge on the ranker behind it.  It seems that Mr. Hagee made a remark that apparently set off a knee-jerk response from the Catholic League, akin to the CIA when any word in an e-mail vaguely refers to Al-Qaeda.  Catholic League President, Bill Donohue, a self-aggrandizing fighter for justice pertaining to all things Catholic, took offense and went on a tyrannical campaign to humiliate Mr. Hagee for the alleged comment he found derogatory.
 
The letter Mr. Hagee sent addresses reconciliation for his remark, and extends an olive branch.  Bill Donohue's megalomaniacal (and let's not forget narcissistic) ego was willing to succomb to at least accepting the apology, since it would make him look the lesser if he didn't.  In his own words, "...What Hagee has done takes courage and quite frankly I never expected him to demonstrate such sensitivity to our concerns. But he has done just that. Now Catholics, along with Jews, can work with Pastor Hagee in making interfaith relations stronger than ever. Whatever problems we had before are now history. This case is closed.”
 
Well I'm so happy that the great Bill Donohue has bequeathed his seal of approval upon this matter, and because he said so, we must move on.  Yet if one looks at the Catholic League website, you will see articles that reek of pot stirring rhetoric.  Titles such as '"Hagee fibs again", "John Hagee: Veteran Bigot", and other articles unrelated to this matter, ("Kathy Griffin's fans are a sick lot", and my favorite, "Apologize or Debate Me"), show that the Catholic League is an uncaged pitbull, bound and determined to bully and intimidate anyone they please.  Their unchecked, and certainly unchallenged approach to about any subject they deem anti-Catholic has given them the unabashed, and definately unapologetic stance when it comes to these issues.
 
It's no wonder Mr. Hagee apologized.  He had no choice.  It was that or deal with the endless pursuit of 'Brown Shirt's' from Donohue's Catholic League.
 
The irony of all this is when the Clergy Sex Abuse Scandal broke, Donohue attacked the victims of abuse, calling them "Johnny-come-lately's" among other things. (One only needs to go to their website, type into their search engine 'Sex Abuse Scandal', and read any comment by Bill Donohue to quickly get a feel for his take on it.)
 
I know very little of Mr. Hagee's ministry and what he stands for.  He very well may have said all that the Catholic League asserts.  But, the bottom line, Hagee is the better person, even if he didn't send the letter of apology.  And because he did, all the more reason to appreciate the love of Jesus shining through him, (even if Hagee's motives were less than pure), than the staunch demands of Bill Donohue to be right at all cost.
7:04 pm

Saturday, May 10, 2008

New Tires and Tim Horton's
 
I had the dubious displeasure of having to get new tires for my decade old car, which I should be thankful that it still runs.  The tire place is situated in an area where I have to walk at least a half mile to an eating establishment.  This is a good thing, since I drop my car off, walk to the place, get a bite to eat, read, relax, do a sudoku puzzle, and walk back in time for my car to be ready.
 
One of my favorite devotions I read daily is from John Fischer, who likes to talk about the Church of St Arbucks.  Yah, you guessed it.  He likes to talk about how just sitting over a cup of coffee will bring out more than any sermon on any given Sunday morning will do, and how a few people will just buy a total stranger a cup of coffee and invite them to sit down and join in their conversation.
 
So, it got me thinking.  I will walk to the Tim Horton's, which is a mile from the tire establishment, enjoy a breakfast as I described earlier, then buy a dozen donuts before I leave, and when I arrive back to the business, I plop the box on the counter and say "Enjoy".  By then , my car is usually ready, so I finish the paperwork and leave, hopefully having made someone's day a little better.
 
I started doing this, because I hate working Saturdays, and they have to work, knowing they deal with more than a few irrate customers, and it's just nice to know that someone else is thinking about you, at least enough to do that.  Besides, who doesn't like a donut with their coffee?
 
Anyways, if we all do something as small as that for each other, who knows how much we can change our outlook on things.
 
You know, I pass by a fire station each time I go to Tim Horton's... 
9:11 am

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Deliver Us From Evil
 
I finally decided to start back into therapy, after a much extended hiatus because of finances.  Several things have made it nearly impossible for me to continue without the help to deal with my struggles.  To start with, my step mom died the day after Christmas and then my father-in-law 3 days later.  Both from complications from their cancer.  I had been in a creative writing class, and it finished just as the events began to unfold.  I was unable to see my mom one last time, but her indelible courage, grace, and wisdom prevail in my heart.  My father-in-law's illness, or should I say the discovery of his cancer was sudden, and short lived.  Having struggled with the grief and the new responsibility of caring for an elderly parent, has made the challenges of coping with the sexual abuse much more difficult.  My addictions are in full swing.  I sought new legal counsel after the beginning of the year, keeping it under wraps so my wife wouldn't start with the useless questions.  It was all for naught, since the statue of limitations had run out on my case.
 
So, once again, I was without any hope of getting any financial assistance for my therapy.  I went back anyways, using the money I normally give the Church to cover the cost.  I don't like doing that, but I figure God will provide, or at least understand.
 
So far the sessions have gone well, all three I have been to.  Several things came up in our last session, and it starting me thinking about how Theisen groomed me.  I had heard about this documentary Deliver Us From Evil, and decided to watch it this weekend, more to understand why someone would do this and feel no remorse.  I didn't get the answer I was looking for, but I did get a renewed vigor for speaking out, and that the truth would prevail.
 
The Pope was in the U.S. a few weeks ago, and the news punctuated each event he attended with the crisis of the scandal.  Of course the Vatican played it off with assurances that they have learned their lesson, and will behave like good boys should.  As I've mentioned in my earlier posts, victims are killing themselves and it goes unnoticed, but I don't see it that way.  I see it as murder.  The murder they commit is no different then the murders by Josef Mengele's torture of Jewish children, or Hilter's orders to commit such atrocities.  Sure, it's only semantics or degrees thereof, but it fits quite well with the moral and ethical interpretation of it.
 
Few understand that the Catholic church or the Holy See (Vatican) is the only Christian entity that has U.N. recognition as a sovereign nation.  They have diplomatic immunity, and their property, eg. the church, parish, diocese, etc. are considered an 'embassy', where Canon Law is the only one they recognize.  It's amazing that anytime discussion of working out any 'deals' for helping victims must be done on their terms, under their authority, in other words, on their property, where the only law they need to recognize is what the Vatican sees fit to accept.
 
I don't fully understand this, but it makes sense to me when trying to work through the reasons why justice can't be served for victims/survivors.  They play the 'good intentions' card, looking good to the world, knowing full well that people don't understand the concept I just described, and get away with looking the better, then raising their hands up in defeat, saying, "Well, we tried to work with them, but they are just too stubborn."
 
Enough of my bantering.  Just watch the movie, and get your eyes opened!
4:38 pm

Sunday, June 3, 2007

TB & Moral Absolutes
 
Andrew Speaker has become the new poster child for all that is wrong with our society.  Infected with TB, he left the country, traveled to Greece, got married, spent his honeymoon outside the country, and came back, clandestinely, then turned himself in, all the while knowing the severity of his disease.
 
What I find troubling is not so much his selfish behavior, but the lack of proper safeguards, or protocols to protect him, as well as the rest  of us.  The CDC essentially dropped the ball, because it is an agency gutted and forced to work on shoe string budgets (much like all agencies in our government), where deregulation has now made it possible for this to happen.
 
So we have become a people bent on tearing apart the person, but not the system.  Oh, there will be oversight committees, and other talking heads, spending more tax dollars trying to find a scapegoat, but in the end we still haven't solved the problem.
 
The bottom line, since the first time medicine has saved a person's life, medical ethics has been in play, questioning who gets to live, and who dies.  It's great that God has given us a means to help our fellow breathren, but how far do we go?  We have given people a quantity of life, with no quality.  Take my Grandma for example.  She died at Ninety Six, but spent the last Sixteen of those years in a state of senile dementia.  Sixteen years.  Who really benefited from that?  You guessed right.
 
But back to the issue.  We forget that moral absolutes are necessary, and the ethical treatment of people in the care of medical professionals needs to include what is really humane.  The more we dabble into ways to save lives, the greater the chasm we create between honoring God, and playing one.
 
The anger over what Andrew Speaker did is ludicrous compared to society's bent on abortion RIGHTS, or those living a promiscuous lifestyle, spreading all sorts of diseases, especially AIDS, with no repercussions for their actions.
 
And we want to 'tar & feather' this guy! 
 
I don't argee with what he did, but we all suffer consequences from other peoples actions.
 
I can no longer donate blood because of sexual abuse.  I'm not a carrier of any disease, but the rules regarding blood donation disallow me.  I accept that, but I don't like it.
 
And the most important consequence someone suffered that didn't deserve it, is what Christ did for all of us on the Cross.
 
When we can finally quit screaming blood murder over someone elses selfishness, and look to what we each do to contribute to the problem, (like not completing the antibiotic therapy required to eradicate the disease from our system), then we will be on the right road to understanding the moral absolutes given to us are not burdens, but safety nets and loving protection.
 
Think about it!
12:56 pm

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Writing to an Audience of One
 
I decided to change the title of my Blog from 'I've got Writer's Block', to this.  It has a certain appeal, a more positive approach to why I write at all, apathetic to who is reading, if at all.  Appealing to any audience will lose my credibility to write passionately, and if I lose that, than I might as well put a bullet in my head!
 
All joking aside, I will write to appeal to my needs, or pleasures of saying what I want to say, in a way I find helpful.  As megalomaniacal, or schizophrenic as that may sound, it is actually healthy.  Since no one is reading this anyways, what difference would it make.  But on the off chance someone does, they will at least have the foreknowledge of knowing what to expect.  I love to write, period.  Poorly written prose, incorrect grammar, and punctuation errors abound, but at least I AM WRITING.
 
"So What?" you say.  Well I just needed to say it, because some think or feel that writing is for the 'hoity toity', or for someone with too much time on their hands.  I fall into the latter, but it gives me a reason to work through my past phobias. 
 
I never mastered English.  Starting in the first grade, I struggled with spelling, as all kids do, but I was ridiculed by family (As they do with other things), and made to feel, well, stupid.  This carried on into adulthood, and I finally decided to do something about it.  Now, you're looking at it.  I read books on writing, how to write, give myself permission to write, etc.  I also subscribe to the word-of-the-day, from Dictionary.com, writing the word out on an index card, including the etymology, which helps tremendeously in remembering the definition. 
 
Silly, I know, but for a novice like myself, it helps, and I enjoy it.  I never would have thought that I would enjoy doing this so much!  I wish I had started sooner! 
 
 
10:13 am

Monday, April 2, 2007

So What?
 
Catchy title, and I'm borrowing it from an article I read recently, about what Christ's Resurrections means for us.  One thing caught my eye, about what Steve Brown said in the article, and has me asking more.  I quote:
 
"'If in this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied" (1 Corinthians 15:19).

I think I'll die the next time someone says to me, "It's not about you, it's about God." I want to say, "Yeah, I know that, I'm reformed." I'm a Calvinist and all Calvinists know that it's about God...but if it isn't about me, too, it doesn't make much sense and, even if it does make sense, it doesn't matter.

The God of the universe has called us to participate with Him in a grand adventure defined by hope and joy. And the resurrection of Christ is the one place where that happens. It is when the connection is established. Being made in God's image intersects with the reality of being God's child.

Peter wrote, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead..." (1 Peter 1:3).

Do you remember when the United States defeated the Russian hockey team in the 1980 Olympics? That was a wonderful and surprising event. Herb Brooks, the coach of the U.S. team, just before they went onto the ice, said this: "Gentlemen, you were born to play this game!"

Most religions worship mythical figures or dead founders. The founder of the Christian faith isn't providing fertilizer for flowers. He invites you and me to be in a joyous relationship with Him. He says "Follow me!" And in the following, there is the realization that we were "born to play this game.'"

This is not to say that Steve Brown has found all the answers, or is correct (and he would tell you so), but neither does Rick Warren (author of Purpose Driven Life).

So what is my point?  If my purpose is to serve God, then why does it seem so joyless, like I'm not allowed to enjoy the fruits of the work I do along with God.  Sure, it's all His, but if he called me to be His, wouldn't He want to share that with me? And want me to enjoy it, too?  I get tired of being told, "It's not about you.", until I do something that offends another and then it does become about me. And rightly so.  But if that's the case, then why can't the good I experience, for a short while at least, and especially if I put so much of myself into it, be enjoyed by me?  If I have to endure the bad why can't I appreciate the good?

Having to process what happened to me through my abuse, and the subsequent fallout, it was brought to my attention after years of trying to pinpoint what it was that was bothering me, that I never brought it to God.

Sy Rogers, a very dynamic speaker, and Christian to boot said in his Lessons Learned series, that until we can know beyond a doubt, what happened to us matters to God, we will forever feel hurt and lost.

"Does it matter to you, God, what happened to me?" Has become my clarion call.  My angts is to know if I do belong to Him, and if so, Does it matter what happened?  I need to know He weeps with me and holds me close in His tender arms as any child wants from a parent.  I need to know it matters to Him!

2:42 pm

2008.06.01
2008.05.01
2007.06.01
2007.04.01
2007.03.01
2007.02.01

Link to web log's RSS file

I'll make changes to this site as often as possible; sharing news, views, experiences, photos...whatever seems important, at that time. Check back often!



There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.  Phil. 1:6 (The Message)