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Monday, August 11, 2008
Past Revisited
This past week was filled with many surprises, the main one being my middle son receiving an Outstanding of the Day at
the Ohio State Fair, for his project, Outdoor Chef.
But another surprise has been stirring in my head. A woman I had met at a VOTF (Voice of the Faithful) event some
years ago, and who I had stayed in contact with for sometime after until a couple of years ago, stopped me, reintroduced herself,
(but I knew who she was right away), and filled me in on some recent happenings.
Now I must say this, this woman is the kind of mom I wished I had, at least, if my mom were still alive (either
my mom or step-mom). She embodies all that any survivor of child sex abuse would want from a mother: compassionate,
loving crusader, fighting for the justice her children deserve. She is maybe a few years younger than my mom, and has
a contagious smile. She isn't to be underestimated, and always loving to those who have suffered at the hands of
abusive priests.
Okay, you get the picture.
So, we talked briefly about her recent news of a Lutheran pastor who stood up against the Archdiocese of Cincinnati's
Archbishop, and was able to send a message, protesting this Archbishop's speech at the Lutheran 'Senate'. I won't pretend
that I understand the workings of the Lutheran church, so I can't explain the total significants of that meeting.
ANYWAYS, the long and short of it was, this Pastor stood up to the Archdiocese and succeeded in getting his point across.
So, to thank him, this mom, and a group of others presented him with a hand-made crucifix, made from expensive, hard-to-work-with
wood this past Sunday...and I didn't go.
Why?
Good question.
My therapist wants me to 'get in touch with my feelings.' Translation: Own my feelings, calling them honestly what
they are, and not regretting that for a moment.
So, I'm feeling Jealousy, and Anger.
Why?
Well, for starters, this pastor did what I couldn't do for myself, or others for these past six years and counting,
and was able to do it in such a way that he got results. Second, he received kudos for his effort, while I never received
so much as a thank you. Well maybe a few, trite, in passing ones, but nothing of the caliber this Pastor received.
Survivor's Network of those Abused by Priest (SNAP) is an organization that I felt did great things for victims of sex
abuse. I became involved when I met David Clohessy, in Dayton, when he was speaking for a VOTF fund raiser.
He answered some questions, picking mine, and afterwards, I thanked him. We talked on the phone several times since,
and eventually I became the Dayton regional SNAP go-to person. I became entrenched, working with absolutely no knowledge
of what to do, but with hope and faith that I could help make a difference.
I received threatening phone calls, and many calls of self-serving idiots boo-hooing about the money they gave to the
church, and not wanting victims to see any of it. (Or my favorite, the old lady worried that the sacraments from the
priest who later was accused of abusing boys, were valid or not, crying for nearly an hour, upset that God won't let
her into heaven because of that!)
After two years of putting myself in several vulnerable positions, tolerating the apathetic attitude from SNAP, I decided
to quit. I tried to bow out gracefully, waiting for the newly formed Cincinnati SNAP to get itself off
the ground, but it was for naught. Literally, within MINUTES after announcing I was quitting via e-mail to a few
people at SNAP, my name and contact info was removed from their web site, and NOT ONE PERSON FROM THAT ORGANIZATION ever thanked
me, or let me know that my effort was appreciated.
I feel equally exploited by SNAP as I do from the Catholic Church.
So you can see why the jealousy and anger still exists. I paid my dues, and then some, and I can't raise an eyebrow.
Yet this person does one thing, and he gets kudos galore.
I wouldn't care, if it just didn't hurt so much!!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Essays on Stupidity
Like most people, I do my best thinking in the shower. Of course, it would help if I were actually taking one when
I did it (har har). Some will argue that their best thinking is done while driving, or commuting, and that is when I
usually fine tune my points, none of which are worth fine tuning.
So, while in the shower, I thought about this title, and started thinking of things in life that we give such high credence
to, but are never really worth anything, only to pacify someone's penchant for control and order. Like, why do Catholic's
(or any religion) give out a certificate of baptism, as if we need it, like some 'green card' for Heaven. As some of
you have read here, you know my feelings about Catholics, and being a former Catholic (like being a former New Yorker, (and
for those of you who are, you know what I mean)), I'm entitled to exposing the 'secrets'.
I'm digressing.
One thing I wonder about is the jobs many people have, that...well...are just outright stupid, or so pathetically easy
(and good paying), that you wonder how they ever came about (and why you couldn't have a job like that!).
For instance, under the category of stupid is the job of smelling arm pits. The companies that make deodorant have
teams of people checking to see how long, or powerful, their product is by testing on subjects, and then...well...smell pits
to see if it really works. I'm sorry, but some things aren't worth the benefits! I can imagine some mom working
there, going to each pit thinking, 'I'm doing this for my kids.'
Under the category of easy, those who play with toys comes to mind, (or shopping, or watching TV), and give their
feedback. Also runway models (I missed my calling!). Okay, those aren't good examples, but I recall my father-in-law
talking about a custodial worker at the Chrysler plant in Kokomo, IN. The guy was union, and the only responsiblity
he had was to care for two offices, which consisted of emptying two trash cans every day, dustmop the floor, and once
every six months, strip and rewax the floor. He wasn't allowed to clean any other office, or do any other work
because of contract rules. His time to do the job every day took a total of 15 minutes. He spent the remainder
of the 7 hours and 45 minutes reading newspapers, etc. (this was before internet). When my father-in-law told me about
this in the early ninety's, the annual income for that worker was over $50,000 per year. He figured he was getting
paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $250.00/hour for the work he actually did (come to think of it, I know a couple
of pharmacists who fit this to a 'T').
And we wonder why our country is in such shambles.
Well enough for now. I will bring up other topics as they push themselves into the area of my mind I like to call
the pissing-me-off zone, (and when I can finally figure out how this stupid shower works).
(Footnote to todays post: On MSN today, they're running an article about amazing careers. Writer is listed, with an average salary of almost $50,000/year. Hmmm, that's almost $250.00/hour!)
Monday, June 9, 2008
The Shack, Part Three
I read through the book again, this time much slowly, trying to find what it is that has all the doctrine police's dander
on end. I read a rebuttal article by Wayne Jacobsen, from the Wind Blown Media website, discussing the points made about the book.
I must admit, my first reaction about the issue of how Paul Young represents forgiveness was wrong. I knee-jerked,
so to speak. Though I agree with Tim Challies's assertion on forgiveness NOT being unconditional, I have to say that
it doesn't apply to what Mr. Young was expressing in The Shack. The content in question, is from the chapter
titled A Morning of Sorrows, and starting on page 227 (of the hard cover edition, third printing), is the
discussion Mack has with God about forgiving the murderer. After reading this several times, there is no indication
to me that the author hints at God condoning unconditional forgiveness, but to pronounce forgiveness, regardless of the offender
acknowledging their offense.
This, along with many other issues covered, were handled with truth, and loving care. Mr. Jacobsen, as well as
others who collaborated with the story, all agree that one needs to turn to the bible for the answers, and see if representation
of scripture in this piece of fiction holds true.
I think its time we quit squabbling over nuance, and trivial matters. These self-proclaimed doctrine police need
to take the advice from Romans 14 & Colossians 2:18-23.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Afterthoughts on The Shack
Okay, I've come down from my high of yesterday, and started reading some reviews regarding the book. In doing so,
I forgot my own rule of "Whenever someone gives you their Two cents, it still makes you Ninety Eight cents short of a dollar!"
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and that is all it is. Tim Challies does have some valid points, and I agree in part with one of them on the way Young presents the idea of forgiving
the murderer. I quote:
" Much of the story focuses on forgiveness. Mack has to learn to forgive first God (or at least to come to an intellectual
understanding of why God was unable to intervene to save Missy) and then, at the book’s culmination, to forgive the murderer.
I am adamantly opposed to the idea that we would ever need to forgive God for anything. However, because this teaching is
seen only vaguely in the novel, I will pass over it for now and turn to another area of forgiveness—that of unconditional
forgiveness.
Nowhere in Scripture will we find the idea that we can or should forgive an unrepentant person for this kind of crime.
Rather, Scripture makes it clear that repentance must precede forgiveness. Without repentance there can be no forgiveness.
This is true of God’s offer of forgiveness to us and, as we are to model this in our human relationships, must be true of
how we offer forgiveness to others. So when, at the book’s climax, Mack cries out “I forgive you” to the murderer (who is
not present and has not sought forgiveness) he cannot offer true forgiveness. Neither can true forgiveness exist where Mack
is unable to pursue reconciliation with this man. Forgiveness makes no sense and means nothing if we require it in this way.
It may make a person feel better about himself, but it cannot bring about true forgiveness and true reconciliation. And so
Young teaches a therapeutic, inadequate and unbiblical understanding of forgiveness."
I can no more 'fake it till I make it' with my forgiveness, as with any other biblical attribute. But I do understand
Young's attempt to show how we need to bring God into the picture, even if the only thing I can do is say, "I believe,
help my unbelief!"
I don't want to go into a drawn out discussion about every detail, my point is this story is FICTION. Very
good fiction at that, and just because it follows a Christian theme, it doesn't mean it should be theologically correct.
Since when does Christian Fiction equal Theology! Its purpose, if done correctly, will point to the one and only book
that will give us the answers (Piligram's Progress, Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, and
other great works of fiction with Christian themes serve to do just that.)
Characters are created beings in the imagination of the writer. As a fledging fiction writer myself, it is very difficult
for any author to divorce his feelings from his characters, even if the characters are strikingly different from the author's personality.
They are seen through the eyes of the author, and will carry to some degree the stereotypes that the author preceives.
As an author progresses through the craft of writing, they learn to let the character become its own person, yet still
not fully void of the author's preception of them.
I believe Mr. Young made a valiant attempt to present a nice picture of God. I also believe the brouhaha surrounding
this is only feeding into more people buying the book (which is a good thing), and God being who He is, will use it for His
purposes as He sees fit.
Let's not forget that God doesn't need our help, but invites us to join him in telling others about His wonderful love.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The Shack
WHOA! (and I don't mean any whoa, but your "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" kind-of whoa!) This story just oozes of so much of God's character, I can't tell you without ruining it! William Paul Young, the author, weaves such an intricate picture of the triune God, you can't help but feel it resonate into every fiber
of your being. The parallelisms of the characters in the book with my own life, and what Mr. Young went through
are almost too staggering for me to believe.
But I'm getting ahead of myself here. Steve Brown's ministry at Key Life has helped me understand more about God's love in ways too lengthy to describe here. Anyways, Eric, his producer at
the sister website, Steve Brown, Etc., had been talking about this book, and mentioned Mr. Young would be their guest on the Friday show of Etc. I bought
the book on Thursday of last week, started reading (well, actually I read the forward, and the first chapter on The Shack
website), and finished just a under an hour ago.
I am by nature a very detailed orientated person, so any nuance or tidbit dangling somewhere in a plot, theme, setting,
dialogue, etc. tends to give me pause. For example, in the story, the main character recalls a song he sung for
his daughter (K-K-K-Katie, beautiful Katie...). We sang this to our daughter when she was a baby. There was another
reference to a song being sung, or hummed, and I used this as a literary ploy in a story I wrote three years ago (and still
in re-write). Many, many other points stood out, but the icing for me was when I listened to the podcast on Etc. and Mr Young spoke about the abuse he endured as a child. That did it for me! By now the 'tapping on my shoulder'
from God has become black & blue, and a permanent indentation!
I honestly believe these events occurring at this time in my life is no accident. It's got me kinda spooked, but
in a good way. I see my therapist tomorrow, and can't wait to give him my copy to read. Since so much relates
to events in my life right now, I really need to talk and sort out some junk!
Keep all these people in your prayers!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
John Hagee's Unnecessary Apology
I think the title says it all, but I will indulge on the ranker behind it. It seems that Mr. Hagee made a
remark that apparently set off a knee-jerk response from the Catholic League, akin to the CIA when any word in an e-mail vaguely
refers to Al-Qaeda. Catholic League President, Bill Donohue, a self-aggrandizing fighter for justice pertaining to all
things Catholic, took offense and went on a tyrannical campaign to humiliate Mr. Hagee for the alleged comment he found derogatory.
The letter Mr. Hagee sent addresses reconciliation for his remark, and extends an olive branch. Bill Donohue's megalomaniacal
(and let's not forget narcissistic) ego was willing to succomb to at least accepting the apology, since it would make him
look the lesser if he didn't. In his own words, "... What Hagee has done takes courage and quite frankly I never
expected him to demonstrate such sensitivity to our concerns. But he has done just that. Now Catholics, along with Jews, can
work with Pastor Hagee in making interfaith relations stronger than ever. Whatever problems we had before are now history.
This case is closed.”
Well I'm so happy that the great Bill Donohue has bequeathed his seal of approval upon this matter, and because
he said so, we must move on. Yet if one looks at the Catholic League website, you will see articles that reek of pot
stirring rhetoric. Titles such as '"Hagee fibs again", "John Hagee: Veteran Bigot", and other articles unrelated
to this matter, ("Kathy Griffin's fans are a sick lot", and my favorite, "Apologize or Debate Me"), show that the Catholic
League is an uncaged pitbull, bound and determined to bully and intimidate anyone they please. Their unchecked, and
certainly unchallenged approach to about any subject they deem anti-Catholic has given them the unabashed, and definately
unapologetic stance when it comes to these issues.
It's no wonder Mr. Hagee apologized. He had no choice. It was that or deal with the endless pursuit of 'Brown
Shirt's' from Donohue's Catholic League.
The irony of all this is when the Clergy Sex Abuse Scandal broke, Donohue attacked the victims of abuse, calling them
" Johnny-come-lately's" among other things. (One only needs to go to their website, type into their search engine 'Sex Abuse Scandal', and read
any comment by Bill Donohue to quickly get a feel for his take on it.)
I know very little of Mr. Hagee's ministry and what he stands for. He very well may have said all that the Catholic
League asserts. But, the bottom line, Hagee is the better person, even if he didn't send the letter of apology.
And because he did, all the more reason to appreciate the love of Jesus shining through him, (even if Hagee's motives
were less than pure), than the staunch demands of Bill Donohue to be right at all cost.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
New Tires and Tim Horton's
I had the dubious displeasure of having to get new tires for my decade old car, which I should be thankful that it still
runs. The tire place is situated in an area where I have to walk at least a half mile to an eating establishment.
This is a good thing, since I drop my car off, walk to the place, get a bite to eat, read, relax, do a sudoku puzzle, and
walk back in time for my car to be ready.
One of my favorite devotions I read daily is from John Fischer, who likes to talk about the Church of St Arbucks. Yah, you guessed it. He likes to talk about how just sitting
over a cup of coffee will bring out more than any sermon on any given Sunday morning will do, and how a few people will just
buy a total stranger a cup of coffee and invite them to sit down and join in their conversation.
So, it got me thinking. I will walk to the Tim Horton's, which is a mile from the tire establishment, enjoy a breakfast
as I described earlier, then buy a dozen donuts before I leave, and when I arrive back to the business, I plop the box
on the counter and say "Enjoy". By then , my car is usually ready, so I finish the paperwork and leave, hopefully having made
someone's day a little better.
I started doing this, because I hate working Saturdays, and they have to work, knowing they deal with more than
a few irrate customers, and it's just nice to know that someone else is thinking about you, at least enough to do that.
Besides, who doesn't like a donut with their coffee?
Anyways, if we all do something as small as that for each other, who knows how much we can change our outlook on things.
You know, I pass by a fire station each time I go to Tim Horton's...
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Deliver Us From Evil
I finally decided to start back into therapy, after a much extended hiatus because of finances. Several
things have made it nearly impossible for me to continue without the help to deal with my struggles. To start with,
my step mom died the day after Christmas and then my father-in-law 3 days later. Both from complications from their cancer.
I had been in a creative writing class, and it finished just as the events began to unfold. I was unable to see my mom
one last time, but her indelible courage, grace, and wisdom prevail in my heart. My father-in-law's illness, or should
I say the discovery of his cancer was sudden, and short lived. Having struggled with the grief and the new responsibility
of caring for an elderly parent, has made the challenges of coping with the sexual abuse much more difficult. My addictions
are in full swing. I sought new legal counsel after the beginning of the year, keeping it under wraps so my wife wouldn't
start with the useless questions. It was all for naught, since the statue of limitations had run out on my case.
So, once again, I was without any hope of getting any financial assistance for my therapy. I went back anyways,
using the money I normally give the Church to cover the cost. I don't like doing that, but I figure God will provide,
or at least understand.
So far the sessions have gone well, all three I have been to. Several things came up in our last session, and it
starting me thinking about how Theisen groomed me. I had heard about this documentary Deliver Us From Evil, and decided to watch it this weekend, more to understand why someone would do this and feel no remorse. I didn't get
the answer I was looking for, but I did get a renewed vigor for speaking out, and that the truth would prevail.
The Pope was in the U.S. a few weeks ago, and the news punctuated each event he attended with the crisis of the
scandal. Of course the Vatican played it off with assurances that they have learned their lesson, and will behave
like good boys should. As I've mentioned in my earlier posts, victims are killing themselves and it goes unnoticed,
but I don't see it that way. I see it as murder. The murder they commit is no different then the murders by Josef
Mengele's torture of Jewish children, or Hilter's orders to commit such atrocities. Sure, it's only semantics or degrees
thereof, but it fits quite well with the moral and ethical interpretation of it.
Few understand that the Catholic church or the Holy See (Vatican) is the only Christian entity that has U.N. recognition
as a sovereign nation. They have diplomatic immunity, and their property, eg. the church, parish, diocese, etc. are
considered an 'embassy', where Canon Law is the only one they recognize. It's amazing that anytime discussion of
working out any 'deals' for helping victims must be done on their terms, under their authority, in other words, on their
property, where the only law they need to recognize is what the Vatican sees fit to accept.
I don't fully understand this, but it makes sense to me when trying to work through the reasons why justice can't be
served for victims/survivors. They play the 'good intentions' card, looking good to the world, knowing full well
that people don't understand the concept I just described, and get away with looking the better, then raising their hands
up in defeat, saying, "Well, we tried to work with them, but they are just too stubborn."
Enough of my bantering. Just watch the movie, and get your eyes opened!
Sunday, June 3, 2007
TB & Moral Absolutes
Andrew Speaker has become the new poster child for all that is wrong with our society. Infected with TB, he left
the country, traveled to Greece, got married, spent his honeymoon outside the country, and came back, clandestinely, then
turned himself in, all the while knowing the severity of his disease.
What I find troubling is not so much his selfish behavior, but the lack of proper safeguards, or protocols to protect
him, as well as the rest of us. The CDC essentially dropped the ball, because it is an agency gutted and forced
to work on shoe string budgets (much like all agencies in our government), where deregulation has now made it possible for
this to happen.
So we have become a people bent on tearing apart the person, but not the system. Oh, there will be oversight committees,
and other talking heads, spending more tax dollars trying to find a scapegoat, but in the end we still haven't solved
the problem.
The bottom line, since the first time medicine has saved a person's life, medical ethics has been in play, questioning
who gets to live, and who dies. It's great that God has given us a means to help our fellow breathren, but how
far do we go? We have given people a quantity of life, with no quality. Take my Grandma for example. She
died at Ninety Six, but spent the last Sixteen of those years in a state of senile dementia. Sixteen years.
Who really benefited from that? You guessed right.
But back to the issue. We forget that moral absolutes are necessary, and the ethical treatment of people in the
care of medical professionals needs to include what is really humane. The more we dabble into ways to save lives, the
greater the chasm we create between honoring God, and playing one.
The anger over what Andrew Speaker did is ludicrous compared to society's bent on abortion RIGHTS, or those living a
promiscuous lifestyle, spreading all sorts of diseases, especially AIDS, with no repercussions for their actions.
And we want to 'tar & feather' this guy!
I don't argee with what he did, but we all suffer consequences from other peoples actions.
I can no longer donate blood because of sexual abuse. I'm not a carrier of any disease, but the rules regarding
blood donation disallow me. I accept that, but I don't like it.
And the most important consequence someone suffered that didn't deserve it, is what Christ did for all of us on the Cross.
When we can finally quit screaming blood murder over someone elses selfishness, and look to what we each do to contribute
to the problem, (like not completing the antibiotic therapy required to eradicate the disease from our system), then we will
be on the right road to understanding the moral absolutes given to us are not burdens, but safety nets and loving protection.
Think about it!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Writing to an Audience of One
I decided to change the title of my Blog from 'I've got Writer's Block', to this. It has a certain appeal, a more
positive approach to why I write at all, apathetic to who is reading, if at all. Appealing to any audience will
lose my credibility to write passionately, and if I lose that, than I might as well put a bullet in my head!
All joking aside, I will write to appeal to my needs, or pleasures of saying what I want to say, in a way I find helpful.
As megalomaniacal, or schizophrenic as that may sound, it is actually healthy. Since no one is reading this anyways,
what difference would it make. But on the off chance someone does, they will at least have the foreknowledge of knowing
what to expect. I love to write, period. Poorly written prose, incorrect grammar, and punctuation errors abound,
but at least I AM WRITING.
"So What?" you say. Well I just needed to say it, because some think or feel that writing is for the 'hoity
toity', or for someone with too much time on their hands. I fall into the latter, but it gives me a reason to work through
my past phobias.
I never mastered English. Starting in the first grade, I struggled with spelling, as all kids do, but I was ridiculed
by family (As they do with other things), and made to feel, well, stupid. This carried on into adulthood, and I finally
decided to do something about it. Now, you're looking at it. I read books on writing, how to write, give myself
permission to write, etc. I also subscribe to the word-of-the-day, from Dictionary.com, writing the word out on an index card, including the etymology, which helps tremendeously in remembering the
definition.
Silly, I know, but for a novice like myself, it helps, and I enjoy it. I never would have thought that I would
enjoy doing this so much! I wish I had started sooner!
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I'll make changes to this site as often as possible; sharing news, views, experiences, photos...whatever seems important,
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