As the show opens, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and some other Muppets are throwing a Bon Voyage party for his assistant Beaker in the Muppet Labs. He is leaving for his first Star Trek Celebrity Cruise (he's wearing Spock ears). Beaker waves goodbye and heads for the elevator. The others go over to the window and wave to Beaker as his cruise ship leaves. Afterwards everyone prepares to leave, but Bunsen wants them to hang out with him. He suggests they "synthesize some new alloys and test them for superconductive properties," but Clifford and Rizzo the Rat bow out, saying they gave it up for Lent. So Bunsen asks Bobo the Bear if he wants to factor pi, but Bobo thinks he means pie. When Bobo realizes that Bunsen isn't talking about baked goods, he becomes depressed and leaves, taking the cake with him.
Bunsen realizes that most people don't find him or his interests interesting. "Science has left me a sad and lonely man." There is a knock from a cabinet, and Bunsen walks over and opens it. Inside is character actor Ben Stein.
Bunsen: "Who are you?" Stein: "I'm the sad and lonely man that science has left you." Bunsen: "I don't get it." Stein: "It's a joke, you sad little man." Ben Stein closes the cabinet.
Bunsen decides that Ben Stein is right, he is a sad little man. But if Beaker can have an adventure, then so can he. He throws off his glasses and walks through a door marked with a radiation hazard sign. There is an explosion and a scream from Bunsen.
Kermit's intro: "very special guest star Andie MacDowell"
Backstage, Kermit the Frog meets Andie in the hall. She has an idea for a sketch. Since she's from South Carolina, she would like to do a sketch where she plays a Southern Belle. Kermit says it's a great idea and he'll get the writers working on it. He goes into a room and tells several monkeys banging on typewriters to write something about a Southern Belle.
The first sketch is "The Hunchbear of Notre Dame" starring Bobo in the title role. He is decked out like Quasimodo, and starts ringing the bells. He first rings the bell "to the North, Big Marie," then "to the West, Little Ricky," and finally his most precious bell, "to the south..." But when Bobo pulls on the rope, instead of a loud gong there is just Andie saying, "Ding-dong, ding-dong." The camera pans up to show that the role of the bell is being played by Andie. Bobo asks her what she's doing, and she says she isn't sure. She told the writers she wanted to be a Southern Belle, not a Cathedral bell. Bobo heads off to tell the writers they got it wrong, leaving Andie and a bat in the belfry.
Kermit and Rizzo are watching the sketch on a monitor in the control room. Suddenly the door is bashed open as Bunsen rides in on a motorcycle, almost running Kermit down. Bunsen is wearing a hockey jersey and a baseball cap on backwards. He says, "Kermit, my main man, what's the word?" Kermit says that the word is "confused." Bunsen says that he has gotten in touch with his inner funk master and his name is now Snoop Doggy Dew. He introduces his Fly Girls, three women who dance while Bunsen raps. They head out on stage where Bunsen performs his rap song. But at the end of the song Bunsen says, "Kick me in the fly, live girls!" So one of the Fly Girls kicks him. Bunsen goes flying into the control room and smashes into a tape machine. Bunsen realizes he meant to say, "Kick it live, Fly Girls." Kermit asks him if he's feeling okay. Bunsen replies, "I've changed, man. Now I'm bad, I'm da bomb, I'm bleeding internally. Oh, how do you say ambulance in 'street'?" As he picks up an English-Street dictionary, he says he hopes Beaker is having a better time than this.
The scene changes to the cruise ship, where a real Star Wars geek, complete with Star Fleet uniform, big glasses, and slicked back hair, is making some announcements to the crowd. Beaker is sitting in the back, and turns to find he is sitting next to George Takei, who played Sulu on the original Star Trek series. George says he has an interesting story about how he got his part on Star Trek, and asks Beaker if he'd like to hear it. Beaker indicates that he would, and George dives into the story.
Back at the studio, Clifford is introducing Carl the Big Mean Psychic. Carl walks on stage with a parrot, who introduces himself as Alphonso DiBruzzo and says that the two of them have never met. Carl says he is going to tell Alphonso's future. He starts feeling Alphonso on the head and says, "I sense that you're a Virgo who will be eaten whole." Alphonso says, "I find that hard to swallow," and Carl replies, "I don't." He then picks Alphonso up and stuffs him in his mouth. Carl ends the act with a feathery burp and a "Thank you!"
In the hall, Johnny Fiama and his associate Sal are watching Carl on a monitor. Sal asks Johnny, "Hey Johnny, is that the weirdest thing you've ever seen?" Johnny replies, "No Sal. That is." Bunsen suddenly jumps into the shot, scaring Sal. Bunsen is wearing lots of leather, and is sporting a Mohawk and several earrings and nose rings. Bunsen is now doing the punk thing, and wishes to be known as Fungus. He says that when he hangs with his friends they call him Fun Guy (fungi). Bunsen laughs at his joke, but the laughter quickly turns to tears as Bunsen starts crying on Johnny's shoulder. He asks Johnny for help, since he's so confused. Johnny tells Bunsen he's just having a mid-life crisis. Johnny says that the clothes make the man, and that he's going to make Bunsen a new man, so they should go shopping for new clothes.
The scene changes to a men's clothing store. As Johnny's voice sings "Pretty Bunsen" (a parody of "Pretty Woman") in the background, Sal takes Bunsen into a changing room. As the song goes on, Sal brings Bunsen out wearing various outfits and presents him to Johnny for approval. The outfits include a muscle shirt (complete with muscles), an over-the-top cowboy outfit, and a sailor outfit. Johnny doesn't like any of them (the sailor suit causes him to laugh uproariously). Finally Sal presents Bunsen wearing a suit, silk shirt and tie, and with black hair streaked with gray. He looks very much like Johnny. Johnny gives this a thumbs-up.
Back at the studio, Andie walks into the commissary wearing a bell-hop's uniform. She walks up to Bill the Bubble Guy and asks him if he works here. Bill says, "If you call this work," and blows some bubbles. Andie wants to talk to someone about the next sketch. They've dressed her as a Southern bell-hop instead of a Southern Belle. Suddenly she hears someone say, "You don't wanna play no Southern Belle, doll." It's Bunsen, who is not only dressed like Johnny, but acting like him too.
Bunsen: "Come along with me, and become anything you dare to be." Andie: "Oh my, just thinking about it makes me all hot and flushed." Pepe: "That is because you are leaning on the hot plate, okay."
Andie agrees to join Bunsen on his "walk on the wild side." Andie asks him where they start, and Bunsen asks if she can tango. Andie says no, but she can tap. Bunsen says, "Ah, tap. The dance of danger." The scene changes to the stage, where Andie is doing a tap number in the bell-hop outfit with Bunsen. "If only Beaker could see me now."
On the cruise ship, George Takei is still telling stories to Beaker, who seems to be getting a little bored. George is up to his portrayal of the Evil Sulu in the episode "Mirror, Mirror." He pauses to order a couple more sakes, Sulu style, and a Spockan Soda for Beaker. But then he dives back into the story.
Back in the control room, Clifford asks Kermit if he can do something about Bunsen. As he says, "He's becoming Dr. Loop-dee-dew." Kermit says he'll be all right, he's just having a typical mid-life crisis. In fact, Kermit had one back in the mid-Eighties. Clifford finds it hard to believe Kermit had a mid-life crisis, so Kermit asks Nigel the Director to "roll my mid-life crisis."
The mid-life crisis turns out to be Kermit doing Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing In the Dark." Miss Piggy is playing the Courtney Cox role, but Kermit has trouble pulling her up onto the stage. A couple of roadies try to pull her up with ropes, they bring in a crane, but nothing works. Finally, as the song ends, Piggy gets up on stage under her own power. She wants to dance with Kermit, but he says his song - and his mid-life crisis - are over. Piggy says, "I took seven years of tap, we're tapping!" Kermit says, "Ah, tap. The dance of danger." Piggy and Kermit start dancing to the same music that Andie and Bunsen were dancing to earlier.
Clifford, back in the control room, asks Rizzo if he's seen Andie. Rizzo says he saw her leaving the studio with Bunsen, real cozy. Clifford asks him how he knows what cozy is, since he's a rat. Rizzo says that he has 121 kids, so he knows what cozy is.
The scene changes to a speed boat, driven by Bunsen. Andie is standing behind him in the boat. She really seems to be enjoying letting her hair down, so much so that she grabs Bunsen and hugs his head. Bunsen loses control of the boat, and it runs aground on a beach and explodes! Bunsen and Andie walk away from it a bit scorched, but Andie says it was invigorating. Bunsen remarks that it would have been more invigorating if the engine rotor hadn't lacerated his spleen.
Andie sees a carnival, so they race to the Tilt-a-Whirl. Bunsen gets a big-head caricature of him wearing scuba gear and playing golf, which he thinks is pretty wacky. But Andie thinks it's lame. She wants to bungie jump, bouncing up and down until they hurl. As she drags Bunsen off, he asks, "Is that a good thing in our exciting new life?"
Next they end up in a bad part of town (a guy walks by holding a tire iron). Being there makes Andie want to do something wild. Bunsen suggests they break into a pet store and set the bunnies free, but Andie wants to get their bodies pierced. It is becoming apparent that Andie is much farther ahead of Bunsen on the wildness scale, and Bunsen asks her if maybe they should be getting back to the show. Andie says, "Are we still doing the show? I hadn't noticed. Now pick a part, we're getting it pierced." She drags Bunsen off as he says, "Maybe I'll just watch."
Back at the studio, Kermit is looking at a script with Rizzo. The script opens, "Exterior: Atlanta, 1865, the city burns." The writers have finally written a Southern Belle part for Andie, so Kermit sends Rizzo off to round everyone up so they can do the sketch. Kermit turns to the monkeys and says, "Hey, you guys did really good. You can go touch the monolith now."
Statler and Waldorf are on the cruise ship.
Statler: "I'm feeling a little nauseated." Waldorf: "Is it because of the motion of the boat?" Statler: "No. It's because of the jokes on the show."
The camera pans over to Beaker and George Takei. George is quite drunk by now, and still telling stories. Beaker is very bored. Just then the ship lurches to the side. A red alert siren sounds, and someone dressed as a Klingon runs up to George and tells him that they've hit the Battlestar Galactica cruise ship. The captain has fallen overboard, and they need Sulu's help. George turns to Beaker and says, "Here's my chance to captain a real ship." He's about to head off to the bridge when Bob Keeshan, the original Captain Kangaroo, walks up. George tells him that he was about to assume command, but the Captain points out that he is the senior officer. He is Commodore of the Sector Kangaroo now. George says, "Aye, aye, Commodore," and the Commodore replies, "Live long and prosper," though he has a little trouble with the Vulcan salute.
Back on stage, Kermit and Clifford are getting the sketch ready. Andie and Bunsen show up, and Kermit tells her that they're ready to do the Southern Belle sketch. But Andie doesn't want to do it now. "It's so twenty minutes ago." Andie agrees to do the sketch, but only if they can do it with an edge. Bunsen says, "Speaking of edge, I think I'm teetering on it."
Andie starts planning the "edge" for the scene, which involves shark tanks and such. But it has all finally become too much for Bunsen. He tells Andie that this isn't him, not the hair, not the clothes, not the attitude. He's just a staid scientist, and that's who he'll always be. But Andie still wants to do wild stuff, like climbing the Alps, running with the bulls in Pamplona, and watching a Pauly Shore movie (Bunsen: "That's it, she's snapped."). She says she's had a wonderful time with him, but it's time for her to get on her chopper and go. Bunsen asks, "You've got a motorcycle?" Andie replies, "Well, not exactly." Suddenly there are the sounds of a helicopter, which lowers a rope ladder. As Andie climbs on it, Bunsen asks, "But Andie, where will you go, what will you do?" Andie calls back, "Frankly my Dew I don't give a dear!" As Andie is lifted into the air, Bunsen says to the others, "Well there she goes gentlemen. Andie MacDowell, gone with the wind." Clifford says, "Well, I guess she got to play a Southern Belle after all."
Kermit turns to the monkeys and tells them they did a great job. Sal wonders why Kermit lets a bunch of monkeys write, but Kermit says they're actually producers. "Last one to the monolith buys the bananas."
The scene shifts to an ice floe in Antarctica. Beaker and George Takei have washed up there after the shipwreck, and George is still drinking and telling his stories. Beaker finally has had enough, so he pulls out a communicator and has himself beamed up. George says, "What a boring fellow. 'Meep, meep, meep.' I though he'd never leave." George then turns to the penguins who are on the ice floe with him. He introduces himself, and then launches into his story from the beginning. The penguins flee.
The first outtake is from a sketch with Kermit and Andie at a restaurant. There are couples dancing, and as one of the gentlemen turns to the camera it becomes obvious that one of his eyes doesn't have a pupil. He says, "Me eyeball!" The next one takes place just as the first scene on the Atlanta set ends. Andie roughhouses with Bunsen quite a bit, and then they walk off. Kermit is left on stage, and a cameraman and a lighting guy start talking to each other. Kermit yells at them that they are fired. The lighting guy starts yelling, "It's a walkout!" while the cameraman tries to turn his camera around so he can see Kermit.
Go to the "Gary Cahuenga Show" episode