The Artist Formerly Known as Prince episode summary

The show opens in the lobby, where Bobo the Security Bear is making basketball shots into a waste basket with balls of crumpled-up paper as walks in. When Bobo asks him for his name, turns to the camera and says, "This is going to be fun." When he tells Bobo that he's the Artist Formerly Known As Prince, Bobo replies that he is "the bear currently known as not amused." tells him that his name is an unpronouncable symbol, and holds up one of his CDs with the symbol on it. Bobo takes this to be a Rorschach test, and tells he sees his mother and a butterfly doing a mambo on an orange. tells him to "Check the list, fool!" Bobo does, finding a railroad crossing and yin-yang sign. Just then the elevator doors open and slips in.

Bobo: "Security in this place stinks."

Kermit's opening: "very special guest star the Artist Formerly Known as Prince" (holding up a sign with the symbol)

Up in the studio, all the Muppets are standing outside the elevator, wearing lots of lace and leather, waiting for to arrive. As he steps out of the elevator, they all start singing "Delirious." But stops them, saying he doesn't wear that kind of stuff anymore, unzipping his jacket to show that he is wearing very normal clothing. But he does compliment Gonzo on how well he's "working these pumps and fishnets."

As Rizzo takes off to his dressing room, Seymour the Elephant remarks that he wishes he'd known that had changed his look before he ruined an expensive pair of leather pants. He turns around to show that the butt-cheeks of the pants have been cut out. Pepe the Prawn quickly covers Seymour's rump, saying, "Unbelievable!"

The first sketch is "Tales from the Vet." As it opens with Dr. Phil van Neuter's trademark opening, he appears to be hanging from the ceiling. He realizes that something is wrong and calls Mulch over, telling him that the camera is upside down. Mulch disagrees, and Dr. van Neuter realizes that he must be upside down. He immediately falls to the floor. Dr. van Neuter tells Mulch that he now has another hairline fracture in his cranium. Dr. van Neuter goes over to an experiment rack on the side to introduce today's film, Stephen King's "Townhouse of Wax." As he tells the audience to look for Leona Helmsley in a cameo appearance, he bumps his head, causing him more pain. So he tells Mulch to roll the film while he goes to the nurse.

The film starts, but instead of the movie it is a home video of the "Tales From the Vet" Christmas party of 1993. Near the beginning of the tape, Dr. van Neuter warns everyone to go easy on the eggnog. But he obviously doesn't take his own advice, since as the party goes on he gets drunker and drunker, which causes mood swings from depressed ("Eggy-noggy, eggy-noggy") to ebulient ("I have a Platinum card, a Platinum card, a Platinum card!"). Dr. van Neuter finally collapses after trying to sing "Copa Cabana" with a punch bowl on his head.

After the video, Dr. van Neuter comes back from the nurse's station with a bandage on his head. He is a bit surprised when he learns from Mulch that he played the video, and tries to grab it from Mulch. But as the camera pans back down the corridor, Mulch runs down the corridor with Dr. van Neuter in pursuit.

In Johnny Fiama's dressing room, Sal the monkey is reading a pop-up book called "Bones for Beginners." Johnny asks him why he isn't ironing his pants, and Sal replies that he is taking a correspondence course, studying to be an osteopath (a bone doctor). Johnny replies that, first of all, a bone doctor is called a "boneologist," and second of all, while he supports Sal in all his intellectual pursuits, he needs his pants ironed. Sal says he'll iron Johnny's pants, but first he wants to adjust Johnny's back. Johnny doesn't want him to do it, but Sal distracts him by asking about his Ma. As Johnny starts telling him about her, Sal jumps on him, knocking Johnny under the table. As Sal jumps up and down on Johnny, you can here Johnny saying things like, "Yes!" and, "There it is!" When Sal finally lets Johnny up, Johnny's head has been turned completely around. But of course Johnny feels much better.

On stage, Clifford and Zippety-Zap introduce a clip from "Muppet Hoo-Haw", an old show was on when he was an unknown. Whenever Clifford needs to say 's name, Zippety holds up a sign with his symbol on it and says, "Ehh."

"Muppet Hoo-Haw" is of course a parody of "Hee-Haw." There are a couple of bad jokes (I mean _really_ bad, they're not even funny) in the cornfield. The clip ends with Kermit getting run over by an aligator, causing him to hurt his neck.

Back in the control room, Clifford and Kermit are watching the sketch. Kermit is rubbing his neck, which has apparently been stiff ever since that sketch. Sal runs in just then, offering to help Kermit. When they ask how he could help, he shows them the book and tells them that he's been studying. Kermit asks him why the book is all bent, and Sal responds that he broke its spine. This does not inspire confidence in Kermit. But Sal calms him down by telling him to imagine butterflies. As Kermit is imagining the butterflies, Sal grabs him and throws him to the floor, jumping up and down on him as he fixes his neck. When he lets Kermit up, his head is dangling loosely on his neck. But apparently his neck is no longer stiff.

Down in the commissary, is approched by Rizzo and Clifford. Rizzo asks him what he's writing, using a sign on his back with his symbol when he needs to use 's name. tells them he's writing ideas for songs. Rizzo doesn't believe he can get ideas in the commisary, so asks Seymour what's on the menu. Seymour and Pepe respond that they have swordfish, eggs, coffee, pancakes, maple syrup, and jam. says he can write a song about that -- he just needs a better set.

He moves over to a black-and-white shot of a classroom, where he does a really cool video for his song "Starfish and Coffee." It's a story about an interesting girl he went to school with when he was a kid, who always had interesting food to eat.

When the song ends, returns to the commissary. Rizzo is impressed that he could write a song based on the breakfast menu, but bets him five dollars he can't do it again. takes the bet and asks Seymour what's for dessert. Seymour replies that they have raspberry sorbet. immediately sings a couple of lines from his "Raspberry Beret", changing the beret to sorbet. Rizzo hands over the five bucks.

Back in Johnny Fiama's dressing room, Sal is helping other patients with their problems. A sign saying "Sal Minella - Osteopath - While You Wait" is on the door. He has just finished tying Gonzo the Great into a knot (Gonzo: "That's the best fifty cents I ever spent.") when Johnny comes in, complaining that Sal still hasn't ironed his pants. Johnny has had it up to here (Sal: "That would be your clavicle.") with Sal, and that he is a pants ironer, not a boneologist. Sal says okay, he'll get right on the ironing. As Johnny leaves, there is a knock on the door. A delivery man is there with Sal's pop-up book of acupuncture and needlepoint. As Sal opens the book, several needles "pop-up" right into his chin.

Sal: "Hey, my headache is gone.  But my chin is killing me!"

On stage, the announcer introduces Carl the Big Mean Bubble Guy. Carl does indeed cause bubbles to come out of his head. But Bill the Bubble Guy comes on stage, saying that that's his act. Carl says, "Not anymore," and proceeds to eat Bill, finishing off with a bubbly burp.

The scene switches to Times Square in New York City, where Statler and Waldorf are watching the show on a giant screen.

Statler: "Hey, Waldorf, look at that.  The show is
	ten times as big."
Waldorf: "Yeah, too bad it's one tenth as funny."
They laugh.
Statler: "Hey, let's see what else is on.  Hand me
	that remote."
Waldorf picks up a huge remote, but it is so heavy it
	falls on them, crushing them.

Back in the control room, has just finished talking to Gary Cahuenga, the Ventriloquist's Dummy. As Gary leaves, Clifford and Rizzo come in. They've got an idea for the closing number. They want a football stadium full of white rats, except dyed purple. One of the purple rats pops up, and shakes his hand. The rats are going to form a living, dancing version of 's symbol on the fifty-yard line. doesn't want to do that, since his name has a very spiritual meaning to him. He just wants to do a simple song on the piano with the help of some angels.

sings his song "She Gave Her Angels", a story of a woman who gives her guardian angels to the man she loves as he lies sick.

As the song ends, Clifford, Kermit, and Rizzo come on stage, saying how nice the song was. Rizzo says it made him "feel all warm and gooey inside, like a nice brie." Seymour and Pepe also come on stage, and Seymour asks if they can do another warm, tender song. says he's got a better idea -- "Let's Go Crazy." As and the Muppets start singing the song, says goodbye.

Backstage, Johnny is walking down the hall, holding his still unironed pants. When he gets to his dressing room, he finds the "Osteopath" sign has been replaced with "Acupuncturin - Bring Your Own Needles." Johnny opens the door to find a bunch of patients waiting, and Sal sticking needles in Bobo.

Sal: "Feelin' any better there yet?"
Bobo: "Well, I don't feel as itchy."
Sal: "Good, that means it's working."
Bobo: "No, I think it means you've skewered a few fleas."

Bobo then asks when Sal is going to take the needles out, but Sal tells him that he doesn't know, the book for that doesn't arrive 'til next week. Bobo then chases Sal out of the room.

Outtakes

The first is from the conversation between Gary and . Gary screws up a line, saying it too slowly. He asks, "Can we speed that up in the edit?" Next is from the scene where Seymour is wearing the cut-out pants. Pepe is covering him up, but Seymour leans back and sits on him. The third is from Gary and again. Gary is making a waving motion with his hand, and starts making fun of it. Gary claims that it's a new dance. The next one is Seymour and Pepe again. This time Pepe kisses Seymour's rump. The last one is in the commissary, where Pepe suggests write a song about Bavarian pretzels, causing everyone to crack up.