Bobo the Security Bear opens the show with some financial puns as he reads the newspaper. Then Cindy Crawford shows up, and Bobo falls in love. A cupid shows up to do the usual bow and arrow thing, but has to go back for a crossbow (he didn't know it was going to be a bear). After being shot by cupid's quarrel, Bobo is suddenly surrounded by little, pink, heart-shaped butterflies who sing "I Want to be Loved By You". Bobo asks them, "Say, uh, you guys know 'Shake Your Bootie'?" Cindy says bye, and heads for the elevator. Kermit then walks in, asking Bobo if Cindy was there yet. Bobo, still staring after Cindy, says, "Pret-ty". Kermit takes this as a "yes".
Kermit's Opening: "very special guest star Cindy Crawford"
Clifford's Opening: "The show that has people all over the country saying:" Statler and Waldorf: "Where's the remote?!"
Clifford then introduces the Irish Rodents, who sing a funny little song about Cheese. Clifford thinks it's stupid, but Rizzo convinces him to "Get in touch with your inner cheese." When the song turns sad, Rizzo blows his nose on one of Clifford's dreadlocks. The song ends with the rats jumping in a giant fondue pot.
Waldorf: "You know, they're calling this show a runaway hit." Statler: "Yeah. Whenever it comes on, you want to run away."
Clifford then introduces an old clip from The Kermit the Frog Club (which no one in the audience seems to remember), with Cindy Crawford as one of the original Frogketeers. It opens with a parody of the Mickey Mouse Club theme song. The kids are all wearing t-shirts with green collars and hats with googly frog eyes. The t-shirts have their names. The lineup includes a kid named L. Ron (Hubbard), Newt (Gingrich), Robbie (his t-shirt says Meathead, making him Rob Reiner), and a kid named Stu who runs through the roll call four times. Kermit then opens the "Get to know your Frogketeer day" segment by introducing Cinderella Crawfordopolis (Cindy). Young Cindy, wearing glasses and braces, tells Kermit what she wants to do with her life (which sounds suspiciously like her real career).
Segue to Bobo, who is watching the show on his portable TV. Just watching her makes him want to do a "60's retro montage fantasy". Cut to Bobo singing the Monkee's "I'm a Believer" in front of a psychedelic background. As he launches into the chorus, however, he is stopped by Mickey Dolenz, who accuses him of ruining his song. But Mickey finishes the song with Bobo. The song gives Bobo the idea of declaring his eternal love to Cindy.
Next is a commercial for Johnny Fiama's "We Hardly Heard Ya" Greatest Hit's album. It's one of those commercials where the star sings little clips of the songs while the announcer plugs them. Johnny misses his cue for "New York, New York", and the commercial goes downhill from there. Sal joins in to help out "Hooked on a Feeling", but Johnny stops the song.
Johnny: "What are you doin', Sal?" Sal: "I'm doing the ooka-chakka's." Johnny: "I understand you're ooka-chakka-ing, but you don't do it while I'm singing. You throw me off."
After the commercial is done, Nigel cues the Porcupine Hot-Air Balloon Race. We don't get to see it, we just watch the announcer in the booth describe it, and hear all the sad popping noises from onstage.
In the next scene, Bobo is making "harroooonga" noises outside Cindy's dressing room, which he tells Rizzo is a bear-mating ritual. Rizzo thinks it's extremely funny that Bobo wants to ask Cindy out on a date, and laughs so much that Bobo knocks him into a wall, creating a rat-shaped dent in it. Rizzo, however, does not stop laughing. Bobo says, "I happen to love her," and we suddenly cut back to the retro flashback from earlier. Rizzo pushes the flashback off screen, and tells Bobo that he should have asked Rizzo for help. To demonstrate what a "Rudolf Vermin-tino" he is, he suddenly starts singing Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy", getting female rats to fawn and then faint over him. So Bobo asks Rizzo to help him. Rizzo says sure, but wonders who is watching the security desk. Bobo says he's got it covered.
Cut to the security desk, where the cupid is watching the desk and polishing his crossbow. Johnny and Sal walk out of the elevator, and the crossbow accidentally goes off, striking Sal. The butterflies appear and do their song again. Sal then falls in love with Johnny, calling him "pretty". Johnny raises an eyebrow at this.
Next up is "Bay of Pigswatch". It opens with a couple of egg jokes, then moves on to Spamela. Says Champ Schwimmer, "I'd know that mellifluous squeal anywhere!" Spamela has been stung by a jellyfish, and Champ has to suck out the poison -- starting with her lips. Then Andy and Randy Pig find a World War II mine, which they think is a beach ball. Champ is then blown up by it, and Spamela ends the sketch with "A mine is a terrible thing to waste."
Next, in the hall, Rizzo has set up a rig so he can give Bobo lines to say to Cindy through an earpiece by talking into a microphone. Bobo takes Rizzo's instructions to repeat everything he says a little too literally, and repeats some comments from Rizzo he shouldn't have said. Things take a turn for the violent when Rizzo inadvertently says something about balloons to his niece and nephew, which Bobo repeats to Cindy. Cindy clubs him so hard he breaks through a door.
In the control room, Johnny Fiama runs in and asks Nigel to cover for him, as Sal is following him and acting weird. Johnny runs away, and Sal follows him with a pretty flower. Nigel does nothing but cue the next sketch, which is:
From the Eagle's Nest. Sam the Eagle once again has Andy and Randy Pig as his guests. They are discussing noise pollution. Randy suggests putting their fingers in their ears to stop it, which Andy and Randy proceed to do. They can't hear what Sam is saying, and misinterpret his words. So Sam says, "Ake a tinglish trout for your spears," which Andy correctly (mis)interprets to mean "take our fingers out of our ears."
In the hall, Andy and Randy ask Cindy, if she is a supermodel, what are her super powers. Cindy proceeds to disintegrate Randy with energy beams from her eyes. Andy says, "Wow! Cool! Cindy, do me!"
For the closing number Clifford introduces Cindy and Kermit, and they sing "Ah Yes, I Remember it Well." Bobo starts interrupting Kermit, asking him for advice on how to talk to Cindy. Kermit tells him to tell her how he feels, in his own words. So Bobo physically removes Kermit from the sketch so he can talk to Cindy. His own words turn out to be "harroooonga!", which Cindy finds very attractive. She starts "harroooonga"-ing back. Cindy and Bobo start tangoing, off stage, into the control room, and out into the corridor. Statler and Waldorf decide to try harroonga-ing to the nurse, but attract a couple of bears instead. Statler says, "It will do until the nurse gets here." Back at the show, Bobo spins Cindy (a la Jim Carrey in The Mask) from the corridor back to the set, where he catches her.
At the closing, Clifford thanks Cindy for being on the show. Stu shows up again, and Cindy zaps him with her eye rays. Bobo walks on, saying, "That's my Cindy. Let's bossanova, baby!" Everybody dances.
Cut to the security desk, where Johnny has enlisted the help of the cupid to help him with Sal. As Sal walks out of the elevator with a box of chocolates, the cupid drops a sandbag on his head. The spell seems to be broken, and they take the chocolates home to Johnny's mamma.
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