The show opens with Rizzo telling Clifford who Garth Brooks will be singing his songs with, including a cactus barbershop quartet and some longhorne cheddar cheeses (these cheeses with long cow horns). They run into a man named Bill, who would like to be on the show. "Bubbles come out of my head". Garth steps off the elevator, wearing a black cowboy hat and duster coat. He tells Clifford and Rizzo that he'd like to do something different on the Muppets. Clifford asks him what. Garth removes his hat, revealing a colorful head scarf, and his coat, revealing some wild clothing, and says, "Mambo!" He and some other Mambo Muppets then mambo off to the dressing rooms.
Kermit's intro: "very special guest star Garth Brooks"
Clifford's intro: "the show that has people all around the world saying:" The Koozbanian dancers pop up and shout something incomprehensible. Clifford: "Whatever that means."
Clifford is about to introduce Garth when Rizzo comes out to tell him that Garth is wearing a puffy shirt, tights, and bloomers! Clifford says he can't let Garth go on looking like that, and Rizzo suggests they put on Bill the Bubble Guy. So Clifford introduces Garth "as you've never seen him before."
Instead of singing "Surrey With a Fringe On Top" with Miss Piggy, he decides to do the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. Piggy has to put on reading glasses to read her new lines off the cue cards, and screws them up royally. Andy and Randy Pig then enter, wearing Shakespearean garb (including bloomers), and introduce themselves as "the two gentlemen from Bologna". Piggy remarks, "more like the two meatheads from Bologna." After Piggy screws up her closing line, Andy and Randy notice that the balcony isn't very secure, and proceed to bring it down on Garth's head.
Statler: "Shakespeare woulda hated that." Waldorf: "You should know, you dated his sister!" They laugh Statler: "Boy, was she ugly."
The next sketch is "Tales from the Vet" starring Dr. Phil van Neuter, a psychopathic veterinarian, and his Frankenstein-monster assistant, Mulch. Dr. van Neuter presents the strangest animal stories ever told, drawn from his secret files. At the opening of tonight's episode, the secret files are so secret that they aren't even there! As van Neuter sends Mulch off to get the files (after saying that Mulch's brain is the size of a walnut), he takes a minute out to remind viewers that he and "Mulchy" will be appearing locally in "Under the Yum-Yum Tree", a musical romp -- at which point Mulch returns with a file. Its the story of Taylor the Turkey, a turkey who liked Thanksgiving.
In the story, Taylor is wondering what's wrong with Thanksgiving. He gets a nice shave, there's plenty of food, and he gets an aroma-therapy bath of thyme, sage, and oregano. The story ends as Taylor wonders why it is getting so hot, and the camera pulls back to reveal that he is already in the oven.
Dr. van Neuter: "Poor slow-witted Taylor. Product of the public school system."
The sketch closes with van Neuter insulting Mulch again, so Mulch grabs his ear. As the camera pulls back, we hear van Neuter say, "Mulch, not my sideburns. That's just what the nuns used to do!"
Kermit comes into the control room and tells Clifford that Garth has promised to sing a song. Of course the song turns out to be Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual", performed by Garth in a Tom Jones outfit, complete with 'fro and sideburns. The audience is going wild and throwing little Muppet-sized underclothing up on stage, including Andy and Randy's bloomers and Bobo the Bear's Valentine-heart boxers. As Garth sings, the head of the network shows up and tells Clifford that if Garth doesn't sing a Country song, he's going to give the timeslot to Bill the Bubble Guy. As Garth finishes singing, almost the entire audience is passed out on the floor except for Bobo, who shouts, "Yes! Garth!" Garth then picks up Bobo's boxers from the stage and uses then to mop his brow as he leaves the stage. This causes Bobo to remark, "Those are my shorts there. Last pair."
Out in the hall, the cactuses, cheeses, and lobsters that had been told at the beginning of the show that whey would be doing numbers with Garth are complaining to Rizzo. Clifford shows up and tells Rizzo to put them in something, and he'd talk to Garth. Garth of course picks this time to walk by dressed in Japanese Kabuki makeup and costume, almost sending Clifford into shock.
For the next sketch - Yes, it's the return of "Pigs in Space:Deep Dish Nine:The Next Generation of Pigs in Space". It opens with Captain Pighead (pronounced "Pee-zjay", to go with his outrageous French accent) giving his Captain's Log. They are exploring the Meta Quadrant. He then asks the Log if he got that, and the Log (a piece of wood (yuk, yuk)) replies in the affirmative. Craniac the Science Officer (a guy with a brain for a head) speaks:
Craniac: "Captain, we have just scanned quadrant Meta 4.8." Piggy: "No Captain, we have just scanned Meta 4.9!" Captain: "I have told you two a thousand times, do not mix your Meta 4's."
They are then attacked and boarded by aliens, who just turn out to be Bill and the cactuses and cheeses and such. Piggy accuses them of being the evil Plourdes and Bill says they aren't, that they just came on because the rat told them to. He proceeds to blow bubbles.
After the sketch is over, Piggy complains about the bubbles in the sketch to Rizzo, saying Star Trek would never have done something that unrealistic. Leonard Nimoy walks on and corrects her, saying that in episode 12 the Enterprise was invaded by a race of evil, super-intelligent bubbles. Piggy remarks, "No wonder your show got cancelled."
Out in the hall, Garth is sitting in his robe, talking to some chickens. Clifford and Rizzo come up to him and ask if he has lost his mind. So Garth offers to do a song, "Just me, a fiddle, out in the country, with the chickens."
As the song opens, Floyd is playing the fiddle. The camera pans over to Garth, who is dressed as Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof, as he begins to sing "If I Were a Rich Man". The chickens are clucking along.
Head of the Network: "What the... I thought you said he was going to do a country song!" Rizzo: "Yeah, but he didn't say what country."
He begins with the verse about having so many chickens and geese that they would make a noise that everybody would hear. As the chickens are sort of loud, Garth starts karate chopping them to shut them up.
Statler: "What would you do if you were a rich man?" Waldorf: "I'd buy the network and cancel this show."
As the song ends, the head of the network is telling Bill that he'll love this timeslot, since Muppets Tonight is about to be canceled. Clifford gets mad, and says he's going to give Garth an old fashioned talking-to.
Clifford and Rizzo go back stage and finally convince Garth that he should do one of his songs. As Clifford goes off to introduce Garth, Gonzo shows up and asks Garth if he wants to take part in an "inverted, suborbital, rocket-powered, anti-gravity bungee jump." Garth says sure, and heads for the stage with Gonzo.
Clifford introduces Garth, and is a bit surprised that Gonzo comes on with him. They are both wearing rocket packs. Together, Garth and Gonzo describe the stunt, where they will rocket up with their rocket packs, and then get slammed back down to earth by the bungee cords they are wearing. Garth asks what's going to break their fall, and Gonzo replies, "The floor, of course."
Garth: "We could be killed!" Gonzo: "Duh! That's why they call it death-defying." Garth immediately unbuckles the rocket pack and asks for his hat. Gonzo launches himself.
Garth then sings "We Shall Be Free", with Rowlf playing piano at the beginning. All the Muppets come on stage at the end to sing the refrain with Garth. As the music continues to play, Clifford thanks Garth for being on the show, and asks him if he has any regrets. Garth says he has none whatsoever. Gonzo then plummets down, striking the floor with a large splat. Garth says, "Gonzo might have some regrets, though." Gonzo, now completely flattened, gets up and says that he doesn't. Clifford then gives his "See you all next time" spiel, and the show ends.
Just before the credits roll, they show Garth and Gonzo. The show is over and George the Janitor is cleaning up. Garth has tried on the rocket pack again, and says he's sorry he didn't get to try it. Gonzo then turns on the rocket for him, and Garth rockets through the ceiling. Gonzo then notices that Garth wasn't wearing his bungee cord.
Go to the John Goodman episode