Unfortunately, Mock Chinese (which is what the Chef actually speaks)* is a ``lossy'' language (no, I don't mean a ``lousy'' language). In the formalism of linguistics, this means that all computable translations must result in a loss of information (mathematically, I(f(s)) < I(s) for all f in C). Humans are not computers, however (here we assume that the Swedish Chef is human, or at least close enough), and thus are not limited to computable translations; specifically, we tend to extract a lot of information from context in all real languages. This turns out to be the key in Mock Chinese, in which *all* information is encoded in the phrase ``Bork bork bork!'' Thus, while it is easy for a human familiar with Mock Chinese to understand everything important just from the ``Bork bork bork!'' parts (as readers of this group will attest), it is clearly not possible to write a de-chef-er-ize-er. As a side-effect, this makes it quite easy to write songs in Mock Chinese since you can use any filler words you want; all of the actual lyrics are always ``Bork bork bork!'' Note that I'm not actually an expert in this field; I just translated for the Chef. He said ``Bork bork bork!''- - John
* John is unfortunately mis-informed. The Chef does indeed speak Mock Swedish. Perhaps he is misremembering the Jean Stapleton episode of the Muppet Show, where it is revealed that the Chef's native language is Mock Japanese.
Dere ees alsoo neet poosts froom dee heestoree oof a.s.c.b.b.b. Bork Bork Bork!