"No man is an archipelago." -Mark Frautschi (After John Donne, referring to the futility of compartmentalizing a life.) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "A seductive aspect of truth is its simplicity. Lying takes the extra work and discipline of maintaining multiple descriptions of reality. Everyone knows this because we are all liars. We are not liars because we choose to be liars, we are liars because we are creatures of language. We interact with our language about reality instead of interacting with reality. Often, we confuse our description of reality with reality. I'm doing this here, right now, as I speak. You are doing it as you listen. This is the agreement that makes all communication possible." -Mark Frautschi -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here is how I used to argue, unconsciously, until 1987. 1.) It is important to win an argument, even if you do not care about the side which you have taken. 2.) Winning is exactly the same thing as being right. 3.) Equivocation is a very powerful weapon to win an argument. Equivocation means to call two different things by the same name. For example, if my living expenses were paid here, it might be argued that my salary should be the same as that of a student in the US, since the "living expenses" will "make up" the difference. In this example the UNSTATED equivocation occurs between my standard of living in the US compared to Japan. In the US it costs $6.00 to see a movie, in Japan it's $13.00, for instance. In the US I can afford a car, a telephone, a multiroom house or apartment. Here it's just the dorm room. 4.) Non-sequiturs. A non-sequitur is a piece of information introduced into the argument that has nothing to do with the argument. If the person who makes the non-sequitur does not realize it as such, then the other person may believe that it DOES have relevance, and waste time arguing against it, or worse, become confused or distracted by it. For example, professors often equip themselves with apartments and cars when they make visits to KEK from the US. One reason given to justify this is that they are here for the "short term", whereas students, are here for the "long term", and therefore do not deserve these things. The fact of the matter is that the professors control the funds, and they feel there own needs more strongly than their students'. Sometimes non-sequiturs are used intentionally. 5.) Interruption. In general, since you are the one seeking to change a policy which seems fine to those who have made it, your arguments are necessarily more complicated and therefore longer. The person with whom you are arguing may not wait for you to finish your thoughts, he may decide what HE thinks you were going to say, and then interrupt you with an argument against THAT before you are even finished. This is very dangerous, since then he will control both your side of the argument and his side. The best thing to do is to say "Please, I need to finish my thought." if you are interrupted. Start over and finish it. If he interrupts again, ask to finish it again and start over. Eventually, the person with whom you are arguing will realize that it will be faster to let you finish. NEVER accuse the other person of interrupting. That will only make them feel caught, and then they will need to "win" the argument even more. Sometimes interruptions are used intentionally. 6.) Out of context quotation. You may find that during argument that something that you said before is used against you. This may be fair or unfair, depending on what you said and on the context. When this is done dishonestly, it is usually done without explicit reference to the context. It is an example of equivocation. For example, you may have said that a certain graduate student makes $10,000 salary earlier. The person with whom you are arguing may say "How can you ask for $15,000 when you just told me that this person makes $10,000?" The difference, in this example, might be the per diem that the $10,000 student is paid, or something else that is not mentioned. This is a fairly hostile move. It's probably best to counter with something like "Yes, I did say that, but please recall that this person also gets a $5,000 living allowance, for which he is not taxed, while I get no such allowance. If you gave me the $15,000 salary, I would pay taxes on 100% of it. Thus, I would still make less than that person in real terms." See the related file ARGUMENT.TXT -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mark Frautschi's embellishment of a story told by Opher Ganel: This story concerns a man who was traveling by car in a sparely populated area, say Wyoming. Call him Fred. Now Fred really wanted to get home for the holidays. He was driving through some of those vast open stretches when his right rear tire blew. It had been miles and miles since he last passed any roadside structure. Fred looked ahead and could see a single point light gleaming. He had a spare tire, but no jack. Without a jack, there was nothing to do, so he decided to begin the long walk toward that one light, and ask to borrow a jack. Along the way Fred began to think. "It's 9:30 PM now. Who knows how late it will be when I arrive there. If there is anyone there, they will probably be asleep. Maybe I should wait until morning in the car. It will be warmer then and safer. Besides, I can run the engine periodically to stay warm. Then I can make the repair in the light. But I promised my folks I'd be there tonight, I'm already late. I wish I'd bought a cellular phone. That would be really handy now. I guess I have no choice but to press on". And press on he did. "It will be late when I get there." he fretted. "What if they are asleep? I don't want to disturb anybody. I wish that this had not happened now. I guess that if I were awakened by a stranger needing a jack in the middle of the night I would want to help. Yes. People basically want to help. It's how the world works. Still, it is an inconvenience. I must be certain that I thank them. And that I acknowledge them for their generosity and their kindness. Yes, I should offer them some token of my appreciation. I mean, if they were not there I'd have to wait for the next person to pass by. I have seen no cars on the road all day. Must be the holiday." He trudged on. "Yes, I'll knock as gently as possible so that I will only awake one person, and I will acknowledge them, and give them a token. Yes. One dollar. A token of appreciation. They are being so generous. I'll offer ten dollars. Yes, ten dollars is enough to be generous. Hopefully it's too much and they will refuse. I'll protest one time and then accede. That way I will have demonstrated my generosity and I can keep my ten dollars. Wait. Their jack will probably cost more then ten dollars. For all they know, I might just be there to steal their jack, or I might be inconsiderate and not return it. I should offer them enough to cover the cost of the jack. Just in case. For their own piece of mind. I can afford $100 cash. That should more than cover it. There, done. Settled. I will offer $100 and insist that they accept it. I won't budge unless they accept." "Wait. I'm being so petty. Dad has cancer. Remember? Why was it so important to be home this holiday, Freddie boy? How can I measure the cost of a jack against one of the last chances to be with Dad while he is alive? I am so shallow. I'll offer $1,000. I'll write a check and take it out of my money market account. Yes. Wait. Without Dad I would have nothing. $1,000 is such a trivial amount. My portfolio is worth $50,000. At least that much. I should pay attention to the statements. That's it. I'll sign over the whole thing. I can use their phone and call my broker. There. That's it. 50k for a jack and not a penny more. Maybe I should offer the house, too?" By this time Fred had reached the driveway of a small farmhouse. His walk had taken him less time than he expected. The family was still up, gathered in their living room, as Fred could tell as he approached the front door. "50k for a jack! Fifty Thousand dollars for one lousy jack?" Without hesitation he grabbed the door knob and flung the door open. Every face in the room froze in shock and faced him, to which he said: "You can take your jack and shove it up your ass!". Fred slammed the door and walked away. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------