Toddling Along: The Big Boo Boo
By
Gemsong

It seemed like a good idea. It really did. Then. Not now though. I just wanted to look at the stars. It’s been so long since I’d been up on the observation deck and look through my telescope. It’s been weeks. Lots of weeks. I know something’s going on. Janet hasn’t been over in a long time. She and Sam were going over test results. On whether or not they found a way to make me big again.

I miss being big. I miss a lot of things. I miss kicking back with a beer and a hockey game. I miss driving. I miss having a big steak. I miss driving myself to work. I miss going up to the cabin to fish. I miss…. I miss my job. I miss going through the gate.

And sometimes, I have… I have a hard time remembering it sometimes. I get distracted and I don’t think. I just… act. I act like a kid. It think it’s making me crazy.

I just wanted to see the stars. I miss the stars.

There are steps to the second floor, then a ladder that led to the deck. I was so high. One at a time. One step at a time. I wish it hadn’t rained.

***

The last thing I ever expected was to hear the scream. I hope I never hear that again. I knew it was Jack the moment I heard it. I don’t know how I got to the back yard so fast. I don’t remember getting up or running through the house. All I remember is seeing Jack lying on the wet grass.

He wasn’t moving when I got to him. He was laying face down in the grass. I slowly turned him over. I can’t tell you how relieved I was when I heard that soft moan. He whimpered softly as I shifted him onto his back.

“Jack?” I said. “Jack… can you hear me? Jack?”

“Da..?” he mumbled.

“I’m here, baby,” I pulled him into my arms. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

I carried him into the house as he whimpered in my arms. I was dark outside. I needed to see him. His clothes were covered with grass stains from where he hit the ground. He must have rolled trying to break his fall. There was swelling on his forehead. And he was unconsciously trying to cradle his right arm. I tried to shift him to get a better look and for a second I thought I was going sick.

Jack had broken his arm. The broken end of the bone was sticking through the skin. I had to do something. I laid him down on the floor and rummaged around the kitchen drawers until I had a couple wooden spoons. Then I grabbed a couple dish clothes. I knelt back down beside Jack.

His eyes were open but he looked dazed.

“Can you here me?” I asked.

“Uh huh…” he murmured.

“Your arm is broken,” I said. “I have to set it. You have to stay still. Do you understand?”

He stared up at me. His eyes were so full of pain and fear. “Yeth…” he murmured.

I’m not sure he hurt worse. Him or me. He was so brave. He didn’t move a muscle as I straightened the bone and set it. I wrapped in the dishtowels to stabilize it. I lifted him into my arms again. He was shivering with cold as the shock set in.

I grabbed a jacket from the closet and wrapped it around him. Then I raced to the car. I had to get Jack to the hospital.

“Da… daddy….?” I heard from the back seat.

I glanced back at him in his booster seat. “It’s okay baby,” I said. “I got you. Hold on.”

I snapped open my cell phone and called Janet.

***

My heart was racing when I ran into the emergency room. Daniel’s call scared me. So much could have gone wrong. I was barely aware of the grip I had on Cassie’s hand as we raced down the hall.

“Janet!”

It was Daniel. I ran to him. Into his arms without thinking. The three of us stood there, just shaking.

“How is he?” I asked. I couldn’t believe my voice was shaking so much.

“His arm is broken,” Daniel said. “And I think he has a mild concussion.”

“What happened?”

“He fell,” Daniel said. “I think he was trying to go up to the observation deck. Rain stopped. Sky was clear.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I should have watched him better. I let this happen… why wasn’t I watching him better.”

I rubbed his arm. “Daniel, it’s not your fault,” I said.

“The stars,” Cassie said.

I looked at her. “What honey?”

“Sometimes… when he was still big… uncle Jack would take me up to the deck to look at the stars through his telescope,” she said.

I put my arm around her and hugged her. “He probably missed looking at them,” I said.

I don’t know how long we waited. I’m a medical doctor. I know the procedures. I know how long it takes. But it felt endless. It’s different when it’s your own child ad you have to wait. Though, Jack isn’t my child. But he’s my friend. And he’s so small. Damn it, he is my child.

Cassie remained in the waiting room when they called us in. My God he looked so little on the gurney. So pale. I barely heard the doctor speaking. Fracture to the ulna. Mild concussion. Daniel was standing on the other side, holding Jack’s left hand. I brush the hair lightly from his forehead.

“Jack… Jack honey, it’s me…? I whispered as I leaned close.

His brown eyes opened and looked into mine. I know he recognized me. His mouth move faintly in a smile. They must have given him something for the pain.

“Thith thucks, mama,” he slurred.

I felt the tears fill my eyes.

***

The sky was clear. The stars looked so close. It was a little cool out, but Daniel had wrapped me in a blanket. I lay back on his chest. He carried me up to the observation desk. I scratched my fingers above the cast that immobilized my wrist and arm.

“Don’t scratch, Jack,” Daniel said. I could feel the rumble of his voice against my back. It was comforting.

“Thowwy…,” I said.

“It’s okay.”
“No ith not,” I said. “I thewed up bad.”

“Yeah… you did,” Daniel said. “But you’ll be okay. Don’t worry.”

“Thowwy… I thared you,” I said. “I wath thupid.”

Daniel was quiet a moment then I felt his arm come around me in a hug. “Not the first time you scared me,” he said. “I doubt it’ll be the last time.”

“I wathn’t aways dis thupid,” I said. “I don’t know whath wong wif me.”

“I don’t know, Jack… but we’ll figure it out,” he said into my ear.

I leaned back against him staring up at the stars. I know that they are glowing balls of gas and plasma zillions of miles apart. But that didn’t matter. They were just pretty. I sucked my thumb as I lay against Daniel’s chest. We were so high. But I was safe. As long as I stayed with Daniel, I would be safe.

Fini