Toddling Along: Shopping

by Gemsong

***

Okay. So I've been in a lousy mood since P94-X6A. But you can hardly blame me. You'd be in a pretty rotten mood too if you got drunk with the natives and woke up, not with a hangover, but in the body of a two year old. Janet's not really sure how old I really am now. Somewhere between 18 months and 2. So I'm in a crappy mood. Sue me.

What I'd like to know is how Daniel ended up dragging me around with him. Not that I mind Daniel. I consider him a good friend. But it's one thing when your best friend drags you home after a night on the town. It's completely different when your best friend is carrying you on his hip into a Wal-Mart on a Sunday afternoon.

They insist I need clothes. Have you SEEN the clothes they have out for kids these days? And we all know Daniel's tastes in clothes. God help me. Did you know the shopping cart seats now have little straps that keep kids from climbing out of them? I used to think that was a great idea.

"Da'l," I said. You try talking with missing teeth. It's the best I can manage his name.

"No, Jack, you can't walk around on your own," Daniel said as he strapped me in. When did he start reading my mind? "This will be faster. Unless you want to spend all day here chasing you around?"

While the idea did have its attractions, he did have a point. "No." I said.

Daniel grinned at me. Then he pushed the cart into the store. He certainly knew his way around. Didn't know he shopped here. I don't think I could live without it. Everything in one place. Did I mention the video game section?

The designers of toddler clothing should be taken out and made into Goa'ulds. They have the same sense of fashion. We won't go into my opinion of 'Bob the Builder'. Who the hell comes up with the crap. It certainly isn't kids.

"What an adorable little boy," said probably the tenth woman so far in the last hour. What do these women do all day. Stalk underage males? Oh no, this one's giving Daniel the eye. He's oblivious as usual. Although in this case I'm glad.

"Thank you," Daniel replied to the woman. His voice is getting the same tone as when he's had to repeat himself to the intellectually dim. Like me at staff meetings.

Then the monster attacked me! Half my face caught in a painful grip between fat fingers. "You are just the cutest thing!" it said right in my face. I couldn't stop myself.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

I screamed like a baby. Well I was a baby. Daniel had me up and out of the cart so fast I think he defied gravity and a few physic's laws. But right at that moment, I didn't care. I had a death grip on Daniel's neck and there was no way in hell I was letting go.

"He's very shy of strangers," I heard Daniel say to the woman. "Excuse me." He walked away from the woman, pushing the cart with one hand and holding me tight with the other.

"You okay Jack?" he murmured in my ear.

I nodded. "Yeth..." I said. I felt anything but. I can't remember the last time I had the crap scared out of me like that.

Daniel didn't put me down though. He just continued to fill the cart one handed and hold me. I didn't mind. I wanted to feel safe. As long as he was holding me I felt safe. So at the moment I was a wuss. So sue me. I don't care.

I leaned my head against Daniel's shoulder as we stood in the check out line. I must be heavy by this time, but Daniel seemed to be fine. He sighs when he's tired. Or when annoyed. He wasn't sighing. So I wasn't gonna say anything.

"Jack," Daniel's voice was a warm murmur in my ear. "Stop sucking your thumb."

Crap.