Toddling Along 20: A Day at the SGC
By
Gemsong

Lately I hadn’t required SG-1 to go on a mission together. I’ve been sending them out on the odd mission separately or together, but it was clear that SG-1 wasn’t the same without Colonel O’Neill. Teal’c, Major Carter and Dr. Jackson had returned to the planet along with Dr. Frazier in hopes of getting an answer on whether or not they would be able to return Colonel to former adult status.

The last few months have been interesting without a doubt. We would be officially celebrating his 2nd birthday in next month in October. It was clear Colonel O’Neill would much rather be celebrating his 47th birthday instead. It all depended on the results.

I stood in the control room holding Jack so that he could see out the window at the stargate. He actually flinched when the wormhole activated. The three remaining members of his team turned and waved at Jack before they turned to walk up the ramp and stepped through the gate.

Jack took his thumb out of his mouth as the wormhole disengaged. “They go thwough da puddle,” he said.

“That’s right, Jack,” I said. “They’ve gone to see if they can get you some answers.”

“Make me big again?” he asked.

“That’s the idea.”

“Being little is fun,” Jack said surprisingly. We’ve all noticed that Jack has been acting more like a child than an adult in a child’s body. And considering some of the incidents I’ve heard about, if he was anything like this the first time around his parents were saints and we’re impressed he was able to attain adulthood.

This time around it’s my turn to keep an eye on ‘the Jack-beast’ as Dr. Frazier calls him. I’ve been a father and grandfather. Not a lot gets by me. Plus I have a large number of willing hands to help keep him occupied. The SGC does not revolve around Jack O’Neill. But there is no denying the impact that he’s made on a lot of people. Plus there are video cameras everywhere. Add the fact that his right arm is still in a cast, how much damage could he do?

I have never been so wrong about something in my entire life. It boggles the imagination.

Incident #1

If I find out who brought in the Big Wheel ™, they will discover that peeling potatoes for a week would be a vacation compared to what I’d rather do to them. And not just any Big Wheel ™ would do for Jack. No, someone found one that was modeled after Star Wars ™ with the requisite flashing lights and laser sounds. I suspect Siler, but I can’t prove it.

Sergeant Harriman hurried into my office looking concerned. Never a good sign.

“General, you better see this,” he said. He turned on the monitor in my office. He had already directed the feed so I could see what was happening. It also came with sound.

First there were loud zapping noises that reminded me of the fire of staff weapons. This was accompanied by startled yelps. The next thing I see are assorted security officers along with stray airmen diving out of the way.

Jack was peddling as fast as his little legs could pump and firing at anything that moved. His war cries were the only warning my staff got. Top it off, more than a few played along dropping to the floor as if dead. Good thing they weren’t considering acting as a second career option.

“Impewial twoopers muth die!” Jack was howling.

He disappeared from the camera. A few seconds later a limping Sergeant Siler was clearly in hot pursuit.

Incident #2

“Charlene?” I said as I entered the locker room. It was currently women’s only at the moment. There aren’t that many women in the SGC so we time share with the ‘boys’. Sometime you take what you can get.

“Yes, Rhonda?” the lieutenant replied toweling her hair dry.

“I would advise extreme caution when you enter the halls.” I said as I stripped off my fatigue shirt.

“And why is that?”

“Colonel O’Neill has a Big Wheel ™,” I replied. Nothing more needed to be said.

“As long as he’s out there, he’s fine,” Charlene replied.

We were soooooo wrong.

Suddenly there was the sound of screaming. Anne, Irene, Janice and Karen came flying out of the shower grabbing towels and whatever they could get their hands on.

Behind them, looking more than a little damp, his hands in his pockets as he strolled out with a big gap toothed grin was Colonel O’Neill. The tiny terror himself. How the hell did he sneak in here without being seen?

“What?” he asked with innocent big brown eyes and a shit-eating grin.

Incident #3

The phone rang and I hurried to answer it. “Dr. Carmichael,” I said.

“This is General Hammond.” I straightened automatically.

“Yes, sir?”

“Doctor is Colonel with you?” the general asked me.

I quickly glanced around the lab and saw the object of the general search. “Yes, sir,” I replied. “He’s watching the rats.”

“Rats?”

“Yes sir,” I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. “I use them as test subjects. Don’t worry sir. They’re all secure in cages. All he can do is watch them.”

For a second I thought I heard a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Doctor,” he said.

I hung up the phone and looked over at Colonel O’Neill. I’m just not comfortable calling him ‘Jack’. He was sitting on the stool in front of the cages, leaning his chin on his folded arms in front of the rat cages. My prize, Algernon seemed to be the focus of his attention. That little guy had survived a great deal with all the alien bacteria that have been brought back.

I returned to my microscope and the slides waiting to be examined. I got caught up in the results. I should have kept a better eye on the colonel. I should have suspected something. But no. One moment I was examining slides, the next thing I’m doing is chasing rats around my lab.

Do you know how many rats were in cages? Twenty five. Do you know how many I was able to recover? Sixteen. That’s nine missing rats. Make that ten rats. Colonel O’Neill is also among the missing.

***
I don’t normally stay on the base overnight. But it seemed the best idea to stay here with Jack. He didn’t want to go home without Daniel. I didn’t blame him. The two of them had gone far beyond mere friendship. They had become more like father and son.

It was late and he was asleep on the cot that had been set up in my on base quarters. He was curled up on a ball sleeping peacefully on his side. His left thumb was in his mouth and his arm wrapped around a stuffed lion someone had found and left on the bed.

He looked so peaceful and innocent. Like many others, I have learned that it is no more than a façade. But I don’t think I’d have him any other way.

Fini