Saturday, July 23, 2005
Smooth Operator
Have you ever been totally amazed? Have you ever been totally blown away by a live performance? Have you
ever been left in absolute awe of a singer’s ability to perform and entertain and, oh yeah, touch the soul? Well that’s
how I feel after watching Michael Buble’ last night.
Michael who? Michael Bubble? Noooooo. Boo-Blay, as in “It’s scary how easy it is to get laid after one of his concerts.”
Well, in theory at least. Michael, or MB as I like to call him <we’re tight like that>, is the a-typical
lounge singer without the lounge. He’s everything Sinatra was and everything Harry Connick Jr. wishes he could be.
And on top of the superb voice and stunning, debonair style, MB is just funny and down-to-earth.
He has a way of captivating his audience and making you feel right at home. I have to admit his concert last night
ranks up there as one of the best performances I have ever seen. It wasn’t just the music. It was also how he
engaged with the fans, telling jokes in between numbers and running out into the crowd. His personality is very Clooney-esque
<’Cause me and George are tight like that, too>, and the best part is ……… the endless stream of adoring female fans!!!!
OMG! It was like walking into Toys R Us for the first time as a kid! The possibilities appeared to be endless.
At one point MB encouraged everyone to get up out of their seats and dance. Within minutes, the entire Orchestra seating
area of the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center was packed with nothing but ladies. Too bad I was in the nose bleed seats
because the thought crossed my mind of just running down there with a handful of business cards. “Hi, how are you? My
name’s Gil. And you are….?” “Michael? Yeah…… I love his music. I have all of his CD’s. Really?
You, too? Wow. Want to come back to my place for an after party?” Like I said…….endless!
But crowd sampling aside, the show really was phenomenal. First of all, TBPAC is probably the best place, acoustically,
to catch a show. Secondly, the choreography of the lighting was mesmerizing. It’s truly amazing how lighting and
the effects created with lighting can totally help set the tone of the song being performed. The band was also superb,
and it complemented MB’s smooth voice the way a freshly opened Coke compliments good rum.
And of course there was Michael. MB, who will be thirty in September, is definitely one cool cat. He brings
a charged enthusiasm to his performances, and he takes the time recognize, acknowledge and thank not just the members of the
band, but also the members of the audience. It’s always great to see confident talent wrapped up in sincere humility,
and everything about MB screams genuine class. I definitely admire anyone that can carry themselves, and an entire show,
with such grace and flare. No wonder the ladies love him. I guess you can say I have a new man-crush target.
<laugh>
And today’s lesson, boys and girls, is simple. No matter how great the talent or how huge the performance, sincerity
and genuineness always trump flash and self-adoration. It’s not about “Look at me”, but rather about “Thank you very
much”. I am sure MB takes a moment every now and then to bask in the limelight of his newfound success. But if
he does he must do so in private, because on stage it’s all about the music and all about the fans.
I hope you all get a chance to watch him perform one day. And fellas, if a woman ever asks you to take her to see MB
live in concert……. DO IT! Trust me! You won’t regret it.
Leelee, thanks for introducing me to the magic of MB and for sharing and helping make this night a very
wonderful and memorable experience. I hope this night was as special for you as you are to me.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Memories
Life would just not be life if we did not have memories. I believe that without memories, we would cease to progress
as a society. Memories are, after all, our past, and the past, in many ways, determines the future. So it’s nightmarish
to think of a life without memories.
It’s also scary to think of not making memories with those people with whom we are close. After all, isn’t that
how we measure life? “It’s not how many breaths you take, but how many moments you have that take your breath away.”
…… or something like that. Reminiscing, looking back on old times, remembering fondly…….these are just some of the ways
we judge ourselves and our lives over the course of time. And what keep us going are the thoughts and the ideas of making
memories in the future.
I spent this weekend in South Florida and had a wonderful time. From drinking and dancing at Himmarshee Village,
to hanging at Starbucks, to nearly passing out at my friend’s uncle’s house in Coconut Grove (note to self: STOP after the
5th glass of wine!), it was a very memorable weekend. My friend’s house in Pembroke Pines has the feel of a tropical
resort, and just getting away and relaxing was very, very nice! (Thanks again, Miche!)
I came back and caught a movie with another friend. The movie was ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ (which got
me thinking about memories to begin with), and the fact that I saw it with another friend made for yet another nice memory.
And I sit here attempting to type as I struggle to get my kids to fall asleep. They are staying with me as I work
from home the next couple of days, and even though the days are busy, I hope they eventually look back at the moments we’ve
shared and have nothing but happy memories of us together.
After watching the movie Sunday night I felt very sad as I looked back at the relationship I had with Alexandra, my ex-wife.
I think the scene of Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet running through the snow is what triggered the thought process. Alex
and I honeymooned in Tahoe, and I still maintain very fond memories of that trip. 36 inches of snow in 24 hours.
Shoveling every time we wanted to drive somewhere. Plummeting six to eight feet off the side of a hill into soft, white
snow drifts. It was a very good time.
I ask myself, “What happened? What went wrong in our marriage? What got us to the point where we less husband
and wife and more like roommates?” I think the answer is that we stopped making memories together. We made memories
with our kids, our family and our friends, but we stopped sharing experiences and making discoveries and enjoying the little
things together.
And like the Sister Hazel song, life got in the way and now I find myself where I am today. I find myself wondering
if I will get to make the memories in the future that I so desperately long to make. Or will I find myself spending
more time looking back and thinking about what could have been?
It’s all about memories. It’s all about cherishing the good times and learning from the bad ones. Here’s
hoping that you live your life with much more cherishing and a lot less learning.
And don’t you forget that.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Priorities
Is it possible for us, as human beings, to live our lives without the sense of rank? That is, can we exist without
being able to apply importance to things in our lives? Can we see all things as equal? I think the answer is obviously
an emphatic ‘No!” And since I will probably never go back to school for my Master’s degree (let alone a Doctorate),
let me provide you with the quick and dirty on what would have been the subject of my thesis.
What separates us from all other animals on earth is our ability to interpret and rationalize our emotions. Emotions
themselves do not make us unique, but rather our ability to process them. And it is through emotions that we can have
the concept of value. Whether it’s our value of life, value of freedom, or the 99 cent value meal item at Wendy’s, we
cannot appreciate something’s worth without first attaching feeling to it.
Case in point. I am a huge Dan Marino fan, and in 1994 I purchased his Topps rookie card for about $45. Back
then it was a steal, and although the card peaked at $120, it’s now down to only $80. As an aside, with Dan’s HOF induction
this August, I am sure the card’s value will go up. But it’s a moot point because I will never get rid of that card.
It means too much to me. To my mom, it’s just a piece of printed cardboard (no emotion). To me, it’s playing two-hand
touch in the street with my neighbors. It’s sitting in the nose-bleed section of the Orange Bowl. It’s Sunday
afternoons in front of the TV with my dad. It’s a world of emotion, and that card, to me, is priceless.
So now that I have established the connection between human emotion and value, it’s only logical that we apply hierarchy
to things in our lives. What are our priorities in life? What are the things that matter most to us? “Play
with the kids or watch TV?” “Pay the mortgage or buy some wine?” “Live according to others' expectations or be true
to myself?” Why do we choose to prioritize, or not prioritize, the things we do? Sometimes the reasons are clear.
Yet other times, the answer is so vague and unknown it makes you wonder if there even is a reason.
I was with a friend recently and we came up with a catchy slogan that somewhat captures the spirit of my ‘thesis’.
Simplify before you die. Assess those things in life which are important to you. Take note of those things in
life which make you truly happy and ‘add value’ to your day-to-day. Take a good, long, hard look at your priorities.
Then eliminate the static and run with whatever is left over. Simplify before you die. It should be first on your
things to do in life.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Movie Magic
When you hear the phrase ‘Movie Magic’ you probably think of the special effects wizardry brought to you by Industrial
Light and Magic or other production studios. You probably think about the science of cinematography and how Hollywood
can make you see and believe in things that don’t actually exist. And it’s true that movies just wouldn’t be movies
if we didn’t have the magic of make believe. But I think ‘Movie Magic’ refers not to green screens and CGI, but rather
to the emotion and feeling that movies can conjure up inside of us.
I picked up my kids from school/camp today as I always do, but I decided to vary the routine a bit and do something different.
We stopped off at Starbuck’s where they each enjoyed a very rich chocolate chip cookie, and I, of course, sat back and enjoyed
my chai latte. After having this nouveau experience with them, we went back to my place and fired up the DVD player
(also known as my PlayStation 2). We sat down to watch E.T., and what a wonderful experience it was.
I had forgotten how amazing this movie is. Sitting there watching this with my kids was a bit surreal, mostly because
I think I was about ten years old the last time I actually watched the movie. And it was weird how there were several
scenes that were still fresh and vivid in my mind, and those scenes took me back to being a kid and watching that film with
my parents.
The storyline is funny yet moving. The performances given by Henry Thomas (Elliot), Robert MacNaughton (Michael)
and little Drew Barrymore (Gertie) were amazing, and one can’t help but get sucked into the emotion of the film’s key moments.
I could tell that my daughter Natalie was also getting sucked into these scenes, too.
Elliott and E.T. lying next to each other while teams of physicians and scientists work frantically on both of them.
Gertie crying in horror as the scientists apply a defibrillator to E.T.’s chest. The emotion of Michael as he realized
E.T. is dying. Couple that with the soul wrenching score by John Williams, a score that is just typically brilliant,
and it’s nearly impossible to turn the water works off.
“Daddy …. <sniffle> ….. are you crying?”
“Um ….. <nervous wipe> ….. no, baby girl.”
“Then why do I see a tear drop on your face?”
“I … um …. <sniffle> ….. was chopping onions.”
It was then and there that I truly experienced a ‘Movie Magic’ moment. I was taken back to 1982, watching this
film with my dad, and asking him the same question. “Dad, are you crying?” Except my father was man enough to
admit it. He was not shy to let me know that he was not afraid to show his emotion or wear his heart on his sleeve.
The menacing ogre of an exterior with the soft, teddy bear interior. And at that moment he was there holding me as I
sat there holding Natalie.
Movies are, after all, entertainment. They can be a study of reality, a critique on reality and most commonly an
escape from reality. Maybe we’ll learn something. Maybe we’ll laugh or cry or be left with goose bumps on our
necks. But at the end of the day, it’s still just something we watch to pass the time. The key is to share that time and experience
those moments with someone special. Because when we do, it’s then that those moments become truly magical.
Friday, July 8, 2005
The Irrationality of Love
My kids have a fascination with the Star Wars saga. More specifically, Episode II. My son, Daniel, pretty
much likes all of the movies. I think Natalie likes Episode II the most because it deals primarily with the love story
between Anakin Skywalker and Padme’ Amidala. As a 5 year-old girl, it’s scary to think she’s all about the romantic
plot lines. Ironically, Episode II is my least favorite of the six films precisely because it was too mushy and romantic.
Give me more of the light saber wielding Yoda!!!
As you all know, Episode III reveals how Anakin goes on to become Darth Vader. (If you didn’t know this, all I can say
is ‘What rock have YOU been living under?’) If you really look at the story, Anakin turns to the dark side not because
he was inherently evil, but rather because he was, when you break it down, a hopeless romantic with anger management issues.
His intentions, no matter how disastrous the results, where good, and the summary of the situation raises many interesting
questions.
Primarily, is it OK to pursue love no matter what the cost? To follow your heart and do everything in your power
to realize a dream? I know I have written about this before, and I know, as has been pointed out to me on several occasions,
that I appear to have waffled on my answer. I have written before that I needed to learn to let go of the situation,
and of all the associated pain, that got me to where I am today. I have written that I need to live my life independent
of a dream that is beyond the scope of my control to achieve. I have written time and time again that I need to say
goodbye to the idea of perfection.
I have written these things in the hopes of convincing myself that I could. In a desperate effort to not hurt anymore.
In a vain attempt to “move on”. And in doing so, I fostered new relationships and shared new experiences. I have
lived a life that some would say is very enviable. I have danced the night away, drank the night away and … well ….
done other things all night long, too. From boats to bars, beds to backseats, I have had a very good time ‘getting over’
my situation.
But the very interesting thing is that I haven’t gotten over anything at all, and in the deepest parts of my heart, I
know I have not wanted to. The moments I mentioned earlier have been great. They have been wonderful.
They have even been amazing. But they have not been perfect. They have not been complete, and I see now they never
could be. Those moments, as the new relationships that helped create them, could never measure up to the memories and
experiences of the past. And although they came close at times, they always seemed to fall short of the bar that is
forever defined in my heart. No matter how much you try to argue it, 99.999% is not, nor will it ever be, 100%.
So is it wrong for me to still want 100%? Is it wrong of me to hold on to the idea of perfection? Am I a
blind fool, lost in my own fantasy? Am I destined to carry the burden of what once was for the rest of my life?
Maybe….
But I owe it to myself to fight until the very end. I owe it to myself to chase that dream, that desire, that perfect
love with all that I have. And I do so without apology or obligation to anyone with the exception of myself. I
do so knowing that I was forthright from the onset, and that what some may consider merely a distraction was, in the boundaries
of its own circumstances, real and rewarding and life altering.
I am in the midst of living two lives in parallel with each other. It is Ying, waiting, wanting, hoping, and living
in a not-so-peaceful coexistence with Yang beset on partying, exploring and growing like never before. I find
myself grateful of the many new experiences I have lived, yet still aching for the one experience that got away. Or
did it?
Life is funny. Life is difficult. Life is confusing and scary and full of uncertainties. But most importantly,
life is short, and I have to make the most of the situations fate and dumb luck throw my way. Yes, love can make us
act irrationally, but would we really want it to be any other way?
Wednesday, July 6, 2005
The Will to Fight
I saw the movie “War of the Worlds” recently, and boy was it awesome. The effects were amazing, the plot line was
nerve-wracking, the acting was sensational, and Dakota Fanning will receive an Oscar nomination for her performance (you heard
it here first). And as much as I would love to harp about Dakota Fanning, I need to focus on the plot of the movie
and the hypothetical questions it presents.
I think everyone is aware the movie is about alien life forms attacking Earth and attempting to eliminate the human race.
What got to me in this movie, in addition to the superb acting, was the question of, “When faced with near certain death,
do you keep fighting to survive, or do you simply succumb?” It makes for a great debate, and it is a question that is
not easily answered. Think of all the clichés. “The ones that died were the lucky ones.” “There is no hope,
so why not give up?”
What is it that drives us to survive, especially when faced with the direst of circumstances? Is it faith in God?
Is it some other powerful idea like a child, a spouse, a friend? Or does instinct simply kick in and push you to live?
I like to think that when faced with the task of protecting my children and fighting for their lives, there is nothing
I would not do. I like to believe that I possess the strength and courage to do whatever it takes to ensure their well
being. Like
Arland D. Williams Jr. in the icy waters of the Potomac in 1982, I like to think that I am willing to forego my own health and safety for that of
my family. This is one of those situations where you hope you don’t panic, you expect to react accordingly and you
pray that you never have to find out.
I guess it all comes down to strength, courage and faith. Do I have what it takes? I don’t know. I barely
had what it took to sit through the movie. But life is not like Hollywood, and the path we take is stained every now
and then with pain and tragedy. It’s our ability to persevere and survive that make us uniquely human. And it’s
in believing and never losing focus of that ultimate goal of survival that we are able to realize our own happy endings.
Tuesday, July 5, 2005
What Dreams are Made of
I found myself lying there, having that conversation I did not want to have. Sitting, listening, waiting for this
uncomfortable moment to end. To pass. To just go away.
How did this happen? How is it that I try to reinvent myself and yet I end up at the same place. “Do you have any
idea how you made me feel?” she says to me. Different voice, different face, same story. Same, old, tiresome story.
Is it me? Am I just destined to be the nice guy façade with the asshole interior? I lie there, staring blankly
into nothing, fighting off the drowsiness but wanting nothing more than to fall asleep. To escape into sleep.
And so I close my eyes and fall. Like a nose dive on Jupiter, fall into deep sleep. Only to have my subconscious
awaken by thoughts, memories, mistakes and fears that come to life in my dreams.
“Do you know how you make me feel? Do you have any idea? You don’t because all you care about is yourself.
All you want to do is go out with your friends, have a good time and forget about me. Forget about us!” The faces
change but the song remains the same.
And in this dream that is quickly spiraling into a nightmare I try to run. I’m good at that, I guess. Turn,
run, escape. Just leave and the get the hell out.
Hood-slid’n like Bo Duke on the slippery surface that is my subconscious. My psyche. This ever changing,
completely randomized minefield that doubles as a dance floor. Just go, go go. Just make the voices stop because I don’t
want to deal with it. I don’t need to deal with it. Just turn and go. Go.
Turn……..
And there she is. That familiar face. The hesitant smile that allows me to breathe. The tender look
that makes me stop running and makes the voices stop yelling. The look that makes everything better. The woman
of my dreams … in my dreams. There she is reaching out to me, smiling because she knows she is about to save me.
About to save this dream that I thought was lost.
I can’t move fast enough and everything slows down. I reach out my hand. Save me!.....
.
.
The alarm goes off like nuclear bomb, vaporizing the moment and destroying my new found comfort. Another ‘to be
continued’ dream, or so I hope. Or is it just another reminder that no matter how close you get, that perfect dream
is still just out of reach?
