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...Something For When You're Bored!
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My Blog
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I started keeping this blog as an attempt to make lemonade with the lemons life tossed my way.
Coincidentally, some entries are a bit more sour than others.
The blog entries keep coming, as do the death threats and bags of poo on fire on my door step.
It's been well over three years since my first posting, and all I can say is, "I can't believe you keep coming back!"
But seriously, thank you all for the continued support, encouragement and inspiration. I
hope you all keep reading, keep smiling, and keep cashing those bribe checks I've been sending.
For all you newcomers, thank you for taking the time. I hope you enjoy the nonsense that rattles
around in my head. Oh, BTW ..... don't forget to sign my guestbook!
Please note the blog entries are listed in reverse chronological order.
To view previous entries to my blog, please follow the date links at the bottom of this page. Thanks.
Want to be automatically notified of updates to this
page? Click here.
Click here to see me hard at work.
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Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Hazelnut Hangout Recap
It’s Tuesday and Lee and I are coming down from our Champagne/Margarita/Beer High from the Hazelnut Hangout this weekend.
I don’t know where exactly to begin, but I do know I need to apologize in advance for the length of this entry. I have
so many thoughts and memories from this weekend, and I hope I can do them justice and capture them accordingly.
I also want to apologize for the slight deviation in my presentation of this entry. If you are reading about Lee’s
and my experience at the Sister Hazel Hang Memorial Day Weekend for the first time, you can find a running blog from the weekend
on my Haze Daze page. If you’re a fellow nut and wondering why I posted the recap here, it’s because I want to introduce you to my
personal blog page. Some people would say I’m just manipulative that way, but it’s all good.
Okay. So back to the recap. I’ll begin with last night’s show, and I have to say that for me it was the best
show of all three nights. I guess it had something to do with the fact that there were not as many people there as there
were on Saturday and Sunday. I also think it had something to do with how much more relaxed the band was doing the show.
Yes, I know. It’s hard to believe that Ken and the boys can be any more relaxed than they normally are, but they definitely
brought it down a notch last night.
What I loved the most was the spontaneous rap session that broke out towards the end of the show. Picture Ken in
his typical fashion of interacting with the crowd just busting into Rapper’s Delight and La Di, Da Di. Not only did
he make a serious departure from his genre, he actually did a REALLY good job rapping and getting all the lyrics out.
As a result, I now have this mental image of Ken as a kid wearing parachute pants, a tank top, and a headband all the while
break dancing on a flattened-out cardboard box.
I’m really pissed at myself because I had JUST stopped filming Ken’s performance before he reached down into his Run
DMC roots. I decided to film a little bit of Sunday’s show just to capture the essence of the concert, share it with
friends, and hopefully make a few Nuts out of them. I was able to get a solo performance of Out There on video
as well as video of them performing One Time which will be released on their new album. Please contact me if
you’d like a copy, and don’t worry, Cheri, your copy of Out There is already on the way.
Another great moment was when the band performed Champagne High. Well, they performed the second half
of the song. The first half was sung by Ken and the Block Flock. He had the band hold off from playing until we
sang through the first chorus of the song. It was a flashback to the acoustical session Ken did for us on Sunday.
I think he was impressed and even taken aback somewhat by how harmonious a hundred dedicated fans can sound while singing
the word ‘high’. As an aside and staying with Sunday’s acoustic session, you have not lived until you’ve heard the country
version of Your Mistake.
For those of you who have been to a Sister Hazel concert, I am sure you have heard them make reference to the corn dogs.
Well, at last night’s show, one of the waitresses from the Windjammer was sent up on stage with a tray of corndogs, ketchup
and mustard. It was too funny. “Drew, your corn dog is ready!” Ken handed them out to several hungry fans
and made some remark about girth <laugh>. It was a very classic moment.
The whole show, as well as the whole weekend, was sensational. Yet I realize that all this time I neglected to
mention Emerson Hart. Emerson is the front man for the group Tonic, and he opened up for SH on Saturday and Sunday.
I will be honest and say that I know only two songs by Tonic, but the ones I do know I really, really like. One of them
is If You Can Only See. Emerson went on to explain that he wrote that song because he was getting married and
his mother was very much opposed to him doing so. As a result, he went three years without speaking to his mother after
he got married. Sad story that resulted in such a beautiful song. Isn’t that usually the case?
Which gets me to thinking about the absolute power of music. After all, 200 or so relative strangers got together
for 3 days in South Carolina because of music. I think about the process of Ken, Drew, Mark, Ryan and Jett taking their
personal experiences, putting those experiences down on paper and producing a song which, in turn, becomes an experience for
someone else. It’s beautiful, inspiring and breathtaking. And if you’re a nut and have read my Anthem thread on the message boards, you know exactly what I mean.
It’s this feeling that drives me to write as much and as often as I can. It’s the idea of someone reading my words
and thinking to themselves, “Wow!” It’s the possibility of helping a complete stranger because I took the time to document
something that happened to me and make it available for the rest of the world to read. What began as emotional therapy
for me has evolved into a mechanism by which I can help myself and others.
And this is not a unique situation. For me it’s writing. For other people it’s a phone call or a text message
or, believe it or not, a traditional, hand-written letter. We all have ways of taking what is ours and sharing it with
the people we care about.
Speaking of people I care about, that list got a little bit longer as a result of this weekend. More important
than the music or the beach or the time working on my tan are the new relationships that were formed and fostered over three
days of celebration. After last night’s show, Lee and I grabbed a bite at a nearby Waffle House with Robin, Abel, Kelly
and Neil. We were like lifelong friends sitting together talking and sharing melancholy thoughts about the fact the
Hazelnut Hang had come to an end. I will always look back at that snapshot in time as ‘our moment’, and I know with
certainty that the six of us will share similar moments in the future.
And this future includes many, many more SH events. Not only do Lee and I hope to take part in The Rock Boat and
The Rock Slope some day, we know that as long as there is a Hazelnut Hang weekend, we will be there. If there is a Sister
Hazel concert within 300 miles from Tampa, we’ll most likely be there. And as Sister Hazel tries to grow the number of registered
Hazelnuts from 9k to 30k, I know Lee and I will be there to help however we can.
Being a Hazelnut is, after all, a state of mind. And any Nut can tell you, “If you’ve had enough of all your try’n,
just give up the state of mind you’re in.” Being a Hazelnut has also allowed me to find happiness in moments of pain
and hope in times of despair.
If you’re not familiar or only peripherally familiar with Sister Hazel, I sincerely invite you to listen to the music,
absorb the lyrics and ‘drink the Kool Aid’ if you will. If you are a fellow Hazelnut, I want to thank you for being
part of a community that makes everyday a lot more fun and exciting. I wish I could thank everyone personally, but I’ve
already gone on long enough. Actually, I would be remissed in not taking a moment to thank Ken.
Ken, thank you for continuing to be an inspiration, a role model and a hero to me. Your sincerity, generosity and
humility are unmatched, and I hope you know how many lives you’ve touched through your words and actions. Thank you
also for taking the time to make this weekend that much more memorable and personal for me. These are memories I will
surely never forget. Enjoy the football <laugh> and GO ‘CANES!! <ha ha … gotcha>
For everyone new to my blog, don't forget to sign my guestbook!
Friday, May 26, 2006
The Haze Daze
I enjoy making things difficult for myself sometimes. So in the spirit of that comment (and relative consistency),
I have created a separate page to blog the trip and events of this weekend. Please visit my Hazelnut Hangout page and enjoy.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Fairy Tales
My phone rang this evening. I checked the caller ID and it was Alex (my ex-wife). I answer the phone and
a very, very, very excited Natalie was on the line to greet me. “HI, DADDY! Guess what? Guess what? I have
some REALLY good news. My tooth came out today.” She paused to catch her breath, and I could hear her smiling
over the phone. “And I am going to take the tooth and place it under my pillow and the tooth fairy is going to come
and give me MONEY!” I swear she had a Cuba Gooding Jr. – Jerry Maguire moment when she said that.
The conversation was adorable, and I was beaming as much as she was. What’s interesting is that Natalie’s tooth
coming out meant as much to me as it does to her. Her bottom front teeth have both been loose for several weeks now,
and her teeth have been daily conversation points. Also, if you know Natalie you know she is six going on sixteen.
Her tooth coming out is such a ‘growing up’ thing for her, and it’s a physical reminder that she is shedding the baby in her
for the woman she will eventually become.
Needless to say I have very mixed feelings about this. I look forward to my daughter coming into her own and becoming
this wonderful, elegant, successful and compassionate woman. Yet at the same time, I don’t want her to grow up.
I want her to remain my baby-girl. I want her to always be small enough for me to throw her on my shoulders with ease.
I want her to always look at me with those ‘daddy can do everything eyes’.
So while she is consumed with the fantasy of a fairy coming into her room at night and exchanging cash for calcium (and
yes, I said cash not coins. Blame it on inflation), I am consumed with the fantasy of a world in which everyone’s kids
grow up but mine remain forever young. I don’t want to live forever, but I do want my kids to be immortal.
Maybe it’s because they are at an age where everything is wondrous and amazing. Natalie and Daniel are at stages
in their lives where innocence is the baseline and their minds are expanding at an exponential rate. They live in a
world of potential and future accomplishment. They enjoy today knowing full well that tomorrow will most likely be just
as glorious.
And why wouldn’t we want to keep our kids in such a world? Why would I want my kids to stay innocent and never
have to deal with the realities of life? Things like mortgages and car payments. Layoffs and politics. Fights
and heart break. I wish I could keep them in a metaphorical bubble that will protect them from everything we adults
continuously try to escape.
But what is the point of potential if you are never given the opportunity to realize it? Why bother dreaming if
you can’t go out and pursue them? Why make plans if you can’t execute them? After all, the great joys in life
are found in the accomplishments of life. They are found in the satisfaction of reaching those points in life for which
we set out when we’re young. Appreciation is something that exists only when people do and live.
I know my kids will grow up and move out and go on to live their own lives someday; yet, I will always see them the way
I see them now. As little kids. As MY little kids. But the fun is going to be watching them grow up and
become their own individuals. The satisfaction as a parent will be in sharing those life experiences with them.
And that’s exactly what I was able to do tonight with my daughter.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Recap
I’ve been getting some grief, mostly from myself, about not writing as often as I used to. In analyzing my slowdown,
I have determined that tortured souls need the outlet of writing more than happy souls do. In that context, I am blessed
to say that life has been good to me as of late, and there is no doubt in my mind this sense of ‘life is good’ can be primarily
attributed to my renewed faith in God.
Life has also been very good every since I decided to let go of a certain part of my life and remind myself that I, and
no one else, am in control of my happiness and my well being. I have been more assertive in making sure that I am active
in my life and my happiness, and not a passive passenger on my life’s journey. In this aspect, I have to give
all the thanks to my girlfriend Lee for being patient with me as I figured this out and being supportive of me once I did.
So in the spirit of things positive – and in the interest of keeping the length of this entry readable – I’d like to recap
the last four days of my life. These days have been fun, celebratory, spiritually fulfilling, and at times exhausting.
But just like that really cool Beck’s ad, if you only live for the weekend, you’re missing out on 5/7 of your life.
Please click here to go to my Recap page.
Sunday, May 7, 2006
Christian Mythology
I had the fortunate opportunity this past week to attend a religious retreat. The retreat was held at the DaySpring
Conference Center, about an hour south of Tampa, and it was for youth ministers in the Archdiocese of St. Petersburg.
For those of you who may not be aware, a retreat is what the name suggests. It is a get away from everything to
focus on God and spirituality. I actually thought it would be more of a working retreat. I expected to do workshop
activities and learn how to be a better youth minister. Instead, it was 100% about self renewal in Christ, and it was
an amazingly rewarding experience.
………
I began writing this blog entry about 10 hours ago. As things would have it, I stepped away from the keyboard to
take my kids to the pool and cook them dinner on my grill. 80 degree weather, clear skies, the smell of burgers and
hot dogs in the air, and smiles from ear to ear on the faces of my kids. Sure beats tapping away at a series of letters
on a laptop.
So I pick up this entry after having watched the movie ‘Troy’ on HBO. I was hoping and planning to write something
spiritual and profound about my experience on retreat, but I will save that for another entry. Instead, I am drawn to
one of the subplots of the movie. I have to explain that I was drawn into watching the movie because that’s what I do
at one in the morning. I channel surf until I find something that makes me say, “Ooh. Cool!” So the site
of Brad Pitt leaping in the air as drives a sword in the neck of a behemoth of a man made me sit up and say, “Yeah, I’ll watch
this.”
If you’ve seen the movie then I won’t bother with a recap. If you haven’t, then check your local listings.
But the part of the movie to which I am referring is when Achilles kills Hector and drags his dead body for all the Trojans
to see. Hector’s father, Priam, finds his way alone to Achilles and begs for the return of his dead son’s body.
He begins his tear-filled pleas by kissing Achilles’ hands.
Still filled with the Holy Spirit, I got to thinking of what it would take to do such an act. To kiss the hands
that took the life of your child, or spouse, or loved one so precious to you that their loss shatters your world and steals
the air from your lungs. What type of restrain and control would need to exist in order to look this person in the eye
and then beg of them?
We all know the cliché of turning the other cheek and granting forgiveness to your worst enemy. But I ask myself,
“Could I forgive the person who harmed or killed someone close to me?” To be honest, I can’t even type the sentence
I wanted to type; for the mere idea of something happening to my kids makes my body stop functioning. It’s unfathomable.
It’s incomprehensible to me. How can anyone show mercy in a situation like that?
The irony of the question is that Achilles kills Hector out of fierce revenge for Hector killing Patroclus, Achilles’
cousin. And fierce revenge, not forgiveness nor mercy, would be my choice as well. I pray that I never come close
to dealing with such a nightmare, but a nightmare beyond all imagination is what I would unleash on anyone who harms my beloveds.
I know there is nothing Christian about these words, but that is the battle we must face every day. How do we reconcile
our human hearts, full of emotions that range from love to hate, with a calling to live a good life and approach all things,
even tragedy, with love?
It’s not for me to determine, let alone in a blog entry. All I can say is that I thank God for my family, specifically
my children, and I pray every day that God keeps them safe and secure. But should God’s will have something different
in store, then I pray that God have mercy on the offender. I know I would not.
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