The other pilots looked up at him as he walked in.  “Hey Scotty” Roger asked questioningly.  “Where’s your shirt?”  “Funny you should ask” he replied “you see, I spilled some spaghetti on it down at the chow hall and had to throw it away in the porta-john.”  Everyone in the tent knew the truth, Roger had already made sure of that, and that wasn’t it.  Scotty was known for stretching the truth in a faint attempt to make things sound better for himself.  The guys all knew they hadn’t even had spaghetti at the chow hall on this day.  This time though he was going down.  Roger would make sure of it.  He was tired of standing by idly while other people flat out lied to protect themselves.

One Hour Earlier Across The Camp

Exiting the chowhall Scotty told Roger and Glenn, “hey guys”.  “You both go on ahead.  I’m gonna go use the restroom.”  Glenn looked over and noticed Scotty perspiring rather heavily.  “You ok Scotty?”  “You look pale.”

“Yeah, my stomach just isn’t agreeing with those chicken spicy fajitas and that powdered milk I had.”  “Not to mention the llama cheese and the goat milk ice cream”

“Wow!  That’s a lot of stuff to be cramming down your throat Scotty!”  Roger exclaimed.

Scotty’s stomach was boiling by this time.  He couldn’t tell the other guys but the situation was becoming urgent.  He was actually afraid that he might not make it to a suitable porta-potty.  Scotty became desperate.  The situation was dictating that no tactical approach was going to be possible on this one.  He was going to have to go straight in and fast.  Roger and Glenn knew the gig was up once Scotty started running for the nearest bathroom in sight.

With his TGT spiking and 2% droop Scotty threw open the door.  He didn’t have much time and his one piece flightsuit was proving itself to be a worthy adversary.  Just as he got it down to his waist he could feel his bowels turning over.  With the explosive power of a fire hose opened full, he deployed his liquid fire.  Overseas duty was taking its toll on him and it wasn’t pretty.

With cold chills running down his spine and a cold sweat on his forehead, Scotty reached for the toilet paper.  Nothing.  In his rush to get the job done he had forgotten to check if this particular restroom had the necessary tools.  Not that it would have mattered.  After all, when declaring an emergency you land to the nearest available point.  Regardless of whether or not they have a clean up crew on hand.  Now he was stuck in a new predicament.

What CW3 Scotty resorted to in those last moments defined him as a man.  It showed he had the nerve and the guts to get the job done.  Regardless of how much the deck was stacked against him.  He was a man of raw determination.  One of impeccable ingenuity, he had proven to himself and the world that he would not go down without a fight.

Back In The Tent

“So what really happened to your shirt Scotty?  Because we know you didn’t have spaghetti.”  Roger asked in an accusing tone.

With Glenn, Roger, and all of the other pilots staring at him, it became apparent to Scotty that he was not going to get away with his lies this time.  The truth was out there and everyone knew what it was.  Scotty told his story of decisiveness and ingenuity.  And in the end, one message was clear.  One should never let the truth get in the way of good story.