Now, ordinarily, that's great! Three chances to sell my book and myself to the reading public. Three at once is a little much, but hell, I can do it.

Today I got a letter from one of my best buddies in the world...she's going to be at all three signings with me, or I'll be with her. Since she sort of got the signings lined up, it's her party. The first one is going to be filmed or something for a new television show online. More on that later when I know what's up.

Anyway, she said something about getting nervous.

I had never thought about getting nervous.

I don't get nervous in front of crowds.

When I was in kindergarten, at the ripe old age of 6, I stood up on the stage for the assembly with every kid in the school (it wasn't millions, but every grade had two classes and there were K-5 in the school) and sang God Bless America, without accompaniment.

Didn't phase me in the least.

It seems as if I have passed this on to my daughter, Karyn. She has no fear whatsoever of singing in front of thousands, all by herself, with everybody looking just at her, judging her, thinking "why can't my kid have that good a voice?" and trying to find fault with her. Hah. The kid is pure gold.

Anyway, back to the subject...acting like an author.

When I taught, either in my own classroom or as a substitute, I would set my shoulders, think of what I was going to say and start teaching. It wasn't hard. The trick was to be prepared. To know what you wanted to say and do and ACT as if you really, truly did know what the hell you were doing. That way, if you didn't, nobody could tell.

Now, I'm not an expert on writing. Or how to write a whole book and certainly, I know nothing about how to get published. Nobody can tell you everything that will work outside of "write the best story you can". But, when it comes to these signings, I just do what I have to do. I cannot act as if I know it all, but I can act as if I wrote a book and it's a good book and people should buy it because they'll like it. God knows I don't look like an author of romance stories. I look more like a before ad for Weight Watchers. But, this just goes to show that while my body may not be movie star quality, my brain is okay. My brain. My mind. My imagination. They're pretty cool at times.

So...I try to dress a little more over the top than my usual jeans and sweater. Neat, nothing fancy...no feather boas (that used to be what people expected) or evening gowns. Usually the table has a covering on it so people can't see your shoes, which is good, because that way you can sit with your legs sort of apart and people can't look up your dress. And they don't see your big butt, if you have one.

In fact, you could wear your underwear and a jacket on top, providing you have the front of the table covered, and nobody could tell because first and foremost, you don't stand up. You're there, signing books, not showing off your stiletto heels.

Why not stand up?

Because that would intimidate people.

Here's the thing. Most people have never met a "real live author". Sometimes people want to shake your hand or even touch you because you've done something they can't...write a book.

That cracks me up.

But, it is true.

Not everybody can write a book, although I am positive ever human being on the face of the earth has a book in him or her. People stop and talk to us at signings or street fairs and tell us these wonderful stories about their lives and we smile and say, "Why don't you write it? It's your story." Because they always say, "Oh, I have a great story idea for you."

Well, we have lots of our own story ideas. But, if they have a good story, they should attempt to write it themselves.

You see, every story takes a little piece out of the writer. A piece of the heart, lots of brain cells, sometimes other body parts get involved, but a little piece of the writer goes into ever word that hits the page. So, it's easier for someone to write their own story than for someone else to write it for them.

Gosh, I love talking to people about their stories, about their lives, about what's going on, why they like to read books, what kind of books they enjoy most. Like the lady whose friend's husband just died and she was trying to get her friend back to life. She bought one of my books because it's got funny parts in it. She bought one of my other buddy's books because it is truly a funny book. That, we both hope, was enough to bring this woman's friend a few smiles and maybe forget her loss.

While these people will not be translated into a story of mine, their characters will probably blend into somebody you'll find on one of my pages. That's how I get characters...I take them from people I meet.

I don't really know how to be a writer, but I know how to act like one. I slip into the costume, straighten my shoulders and become an author. At least I have two books with my name on the cover. That makes me legit. As for what people think when they see me and wonder "she knows anything about love and romance and...sex?"

Boy, are they in for a surprise.

I don't just act like a writer.