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Bill
Dann's Lyrics Christmas songs 2009
Fat Free Santa
Santa went to see his Doctor, he checks him every year, But when he got his bloodwork back, his cheer turned to a jeer- See, the news from North Pole Medical would ruin Ho Ho's day And the big guy started shaking when he heard what they had to say
Well, his sugar was on the borderline, his cholesterol off the chart Trigylcerides were downright ugly, plaque was building around his heart He had swelling above the ankles, there was talk about his weight No, our jolly old St. Nicholas wasn't feeling all that great
Chorus:
Santa's made some changes, he's really trimmed the fat He's giving up cake and cookies after he and Mrs. Claus had a "chat" He's abandoned fattening goodies that caused his weight to crash.. Now Santa's on a low fat, low salt, high fiber, sugar free-yessirree, self induced, power boost, Doctor-trusting, carb-busting, no cheddar, feel better, heart-healthy diet this year
So Santa rooted through his cupboards, and threw out all the snacks He said he couldn't be that heavy, come time to load his sack- Then the chips and dip and cheesy curls were gone forever more And the Mrs. soon replaced those with healthy products from the store
She bought him cans of tuna and yogurt sweetened with Aspertame There were lots of fruits and veggies, Santa'd never be the same Yeah, it sure did raise some eyebrows inside the shopping mart Who'd have ever thought that healthy foods would be found inside the cart Chorus:
Santa's made some changes, he's really trimmed the fat He's giving up cake and cookies after he and Mrs. Claus had a "chat" He's abandoned fattening goodies that caused his weight to crash.. Now Santa's on a low fat, low salt, high fiber, sugar free-yessirree, self induced, power boost, Doctor-trusting, carb-busting, no cheddar, feel better, heart-healthy diet this year
He even got a bike to help his cause made custom by his elves He's working out now with his ab-cruncher-there's bottled water on his shelves He walks to get the morning mail instead of reindeer pulling his sleigh Santa feels a whole lot better and has embraced this healthy way
Now this year when you wait for Santa, he has a small request As you fix him up a plate of goods, remember healthy would be best So forget about a cookie tray with a dose of good whole milk He would rather opt for low fat wafers washed down with a glass of Silk
Chorus:
Santa's made some changes, he's really trimmed the fat He's giving up cake and cookies after he and Mrs. Claus had a "chat" He's abandoned fattening goodies that caused his weight to crash.. Now Santa's on a low fat, low salt, high fiber, sugar free-yessirree, self induced, power boost, Doctor-trusting, carb-busting, no cheddar, feel better, heart-healthy diet this year
Music fades: Ho Ho Ho boys and girls…look at me, I'll be fat free when I come down your Chim-in-ee..Ho Ho Ho…Merry Christmas…..
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Santa's
Drumming Away The Holiday
Santa
tripped over a drum set in a corner of his shop It was partially busted
and needed dusted from the bottom to the top Then Santa paused to ponder,
how could his elves forget- To load this toy for some little boy whose
want list was not met
So
he picked up the drumsticks and began to bang away He couldn't play a
lick, but he caught on quick and sounded better day by day Soon St. Nick
had found his rhythm and would never miss a beat Then the word was out and
there was no doubt he accomplished quite a feat
Chorus:
Now
Santa's drumming away the Holiday His percussion rings along the Milky Way
His love for music looks like it's here to stay Yes, Santa's drumming away
the Holiday
Santa
plays those Christmas standards we all have come to know He can really
move right with the groove and he puts on quite a show You should hear him
bang out "Frosty", "Jingle Bells" and
"Rudolph" too He's bringing musical joy to every girl and boy
like the big time rock stars do
Musical
Bridge
Well
Santa's purchased upgrades to his slightly used drum set His high hat with
clutch is really too much, but there's more parts still to get He's
looking to add on new lugs, clear heads and a brand new snare Soon bit by
bit he'll have a kit that is built for wear and tear
Now
if you keep alert this Christmas, distant drumming you may hear He'll be
jammin' away from atop his sleigh high above the stratosphere He's now a
seasoned drummer, but still as humble as can be For he holds his passion
in a modest fashion but his heart is filled with glee
Chorus:
Now
Santa's drumming away the Holiday His percussion rings along the Milky Way
His love for music looks like it's here to stay Yes, Santa's drumming away
the Holiday
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We Don't Have Christmas Spirit This Year
Chorus: We still sing Silent Night, and string the tree with lights, But we don't have Christmas Spirit this year…
It seems like only yesterday when I saw him 'neath our tree That cuddly little Christmas pup was a precious gift for me He was cute as they come, a playful sort and sporting a big red bow Those dark brown eyes tugged at my heart and wouldn't let it go
Now a dog certainly wasn't on my list, but how could I refuse- If ever I was to have a pet, this would be the one I'd choose- As he frolicked among the wrapping paper we all chuckled at his game And since he was so full of love, Christmas Spirit would be his name
From that moment on I knew that there was surely no turning back- For a finer present would not be found inside ole' Santa's sack- Yes, this symbol of true Christmas Spirit would never leave our sight- He quickly warmed our hearts and souls, this dog all black and white
Chorus: (full)
This is the time for holly, but our hearts are melancholy, And we try and manage laughter through our tears, We still sing Silent Night, and string the tree with lights, But we don't have Christmas Spirit this year
Seasons changed and turned to years yet Spirit did abide When the cold winds blew, he'd lay at our feet, warmed by the fireside Then fair weather would finally arrive, and outside he would play A plastic ball was his comfort toy and by it he'd always stay
Wherever we went, we took Christmas Spirit, he was every traveler's dream- And his eyes would light with sheer delight when we headed for ice cream- Yet he never cared where he was going, long as he was by our side- Guess you could say with certainty he was along for a wonderful ride
Now Christmas Spirit had his faults, but we still loved him to the core- Even though every now and then we'd find his "present" on the floor- He would plead for food at every meal, and would play us like a card- Saying no was not impossible, but he sure did make it hard..
Chorus: (full)
This is the time for holly, but our hearts are melancholy, And we try and manage laughter through our tears, We still sing Silent Night, and string the tree with lights, But we don't have Christmas Spirit this year
The time passed quickly and before we knew it Christmas Spirit was aging fast His muzzle offered a tint of grey and his eyes a cloudy cast His normal leap was now tentative, we'd have to help him up and down And when his disposition started to change, our smile turned to a frown
Yes, Christmas Spirit was just a shell of what he used to be- Still, we felt truly blessed to have him, though his eyes could barely see- Though his failing body made him weak, our trust in God grew stronger- We tried hard to pretend even though we feared we wouldn't have him for much longer
Then one day around the Holidays, we found him 'neath our tree- His sickly body could barely move and we knew what was to be- As our tears flowed freely, we made the call we had dreaded for some time To watch him linger on in pain just seemed like such a crime
Chorus: (full)
This is the time for holly, but our hearts are melancholy, And we try and manage laughter through our tears, We still sing Silent Night, and string the tree with lights, But we don't have Christmas Spirit this year
The Vet arrived and a merciful shot took Christmas Spirit's life- Where it all began, so did it end, and through our Christmas strife- Those memories we share together are forever in our mind- Our Christmas Spirit, a loving friend, so gentle, warm and kind
This Christmas Season we fondly recall his unconditional love- And thank the Lord for the 13 years of this blessing from above We may be poor in worldly goods, but richer just the same- And we will never forget when into our lives our Christmas Spirit came
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...."The Lighter Side Of
Christmas".... 
