Monkey and the cue-ball.
A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. The man orders a drink while his monkey runs wild. The monkey jumps up onto the pool table picks up the cue-ball and swallows it whole. The bartender sees this and says to the monkey's owner, "Did you see what your monkey just did!?!" The man replies, "No what did he do?" The bartender says "Your monkey just ate my cue-ball whole!!!!" The man replies "Yeah he'll do that, he likes to eat everything he sees. Just put the extra charge onto my bill."
2 weeks later the man and the monkey return to the bar. The man orders a drink while the monkey runs wild again. The monkey runs over to a ladies drink, pulls the cherry out of her glass and sticks it up his ass then eats it. The bartender sees this and says to the monkey's owner. "Did you see what your monkey just did!?!" The man replies, "No, what did he do this time? The bartender says "YOUR monkey just took that poor ladies cherry out of her cup, shoved it up his ass then ate it!!!" The man replies "Yeah, he still likes to eat everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue-ball he has to measure everything first".