The DOs and DON'Ts of Picking Up a Girl in the Computer Lab

This post is dedicated to all my college kids that are home for the holidays.

US Air Force Has Fresh Cans of Whoop Ass, Ready for Opening

The Air Force is now capable of deploying and supporting 12 F-22A Raptor aircraft anywhere in the world to execute air-to-air and air-to-ground missions. The Raptor is also qualified to perform homeland defense missions when required.

Dear Bad Guys: come and get some.

Police whack giant snow penis

What a terrible headline.

Sherer, um, erected the statue with her boyfriend and another friend Sunday. She said she was surprised to hear some neighbors took offense.

But the police had no sense of humor:

Officers found no one home. Assuming the snow sculpture was more prank than nod to Christmas' pagan roots, the police knocked it down. Beat it down with shovels, actually.

I bet the gang here at the Tattler can do better.

How about "Cops Cold-Cock Snow Bone?"

Viafin Atlas - Inventors of the worlds first artificial retractable foreskin for circumsised men.

For the man who used to have everything. Just in time for Christmas.

There's a market for this???

Old Liberals never die, they just keep blathering on

The fact that Hanoi Jane is still alive does more to show the restraint of our military and our vets than anything else I can think of.

She's still a stupid bitch.

I'll never quite figure out how it was that she wasn't tried for treason for her little jaunt into North Vietnam in the good ole days; and I wonder how long it'll be before we see pictures of her manning a roadside IED to show her solidarity for the poor insurgents in Iraq.

India faces offshore IT skills crisis by 2010

You have GOT to be kidding me.

Need work? How about an H1-B job working in India? Ah, the irony.

Iran's Ahmadinejad says Holocaust a myth

If this doesn't make everyone on the planet angry, then heaven help us. A myth? Sorry, but even revisionist history does not erase the systematic murder of 6 million Jews.

Rather than for me to pontificate and offer some witty rejoinder to the Islamic state of Iran, let's see what a spokesman for the object of his scorn has to say:

Israel's foreign ministry said Ahmadinejad's comments on Wednesday showed "a warped understanding".

"The combination of extremist ideology, a warped understanding of reality and nuclear weapons is a combination that no-one in the international community can accept," said spokesman Mark Regev.

Here's some information that Iran may want to consider: They've largely depleted their military fighting wars with Saddam's Hussein's regime over a couple of decades. Israel HAS nuclear strike capability, a viable, healthy military, and the ability, nay - the desire - to use them on any nation that would threaten their security. If it's an Islamic nation, that just makes the decision easier for them.

The escalation scenarios are horrifying.

Iran's got a collective big mouth, and they're gonna let it overload their collective ass, which Israel will in turn hand back to them. I fear we're perilously close to a large, smoking hole in Asia Minor.

Stanley Tookie Williams

I've been watching the circus from San Quentin on the various TV news outlets this evening. Here's what I've seen so far: teenage girls giggling on camera behind the talking heads, phoning their friends, laughing, having a good time at the prison's execution party. The sound of Native American drumbeats off-camera, apparently honoring either Williams' heritage, or the profound sadness of Native Americans over the execution of a cold-blooded, merciless murderer. I've listened to pontifications by Jesse Jackson and Mike Farrell, celebrities who apparently have more information than the jury who convicted and sentenced this man to death, and who seemingly believe that you can redeem yourself from murder by writing children's books.

I've seen just about everything except a remorseful murderer who shotgunned a defenseless store clerk in the back (as he layed face-down on the floor) 2 times for $120, and then later bragged about the gurgling noises the man made as he died. I've not yet seen an apology from the founder of a murderous gang, who shotgunned a husband, wife, and child while robbing their motel.

"I am not the kind of person to sit around and worry about being executed," Williams told Reuters in an interview last month. "I have faith and if it doesn't go my way, it doesn't go my way."

Here's the deal, Tookie: it's not going your way this time. It's going the way it should go, and you'll no longer be a threat to society. You will face the consequences for your actions. If you were really a man, you'd apologize for what you did, and then accept the penalty that society has dictated for monsters like yourself, without putting up a fight. AMF.

Bill Gates sets Indian software professionals on fire

This headline is brought to you from Yahoo! India.

This is precisely why technical support from Indian resources is so bad. While this is a grammatically (mostly) accurate sentence, it's a joke. Just like offshore technical support.

Thank you, come again.