Imagine if students were armed

Larry Hincker is the Virginia Tech spokesman who practically pooped himself with joy this morning when the Virginia legislature struck down a measure to allow guns on campus. Minutes later, the tragic events of this day unfolded.

The link above goes to an editorial from last year, when another gunman managed to commit mayhem on the VTech campus. Larry was dumbfounded that anyone would even think of arming students. Quoth he:

Wiles tells us that he didn't feel safe with the hundreds of highly trained officers armed with high powered rifles encircling the building and protecting him. He even implies that he needed his sidearm to protect himself against the officers.

I'm pretty pissed at Larry right now. He represents illogic, ignorance, and a complete lack of compassion for the situation. Here's a prophetic quote:

The writer would have us believe that a university campus, with tens of thousands of young people, is safer with everyone packing heat. Imagine the continual fear of students in that scenario. We've seen that fear here, and we don't want to see it again.

I hope he's deeply ashamed of himself now. Let's see if he makes the news in the coming days. My guess is that he's laying low, mortified by his ignorant statements.

Guns don't belong in classrooms. They never will. Virginia Tech has a very sound policy preventing same.

Hey Larry - think the gunman that massacred 33 people today cares about your damned policy?

33 people executed in a gun-free zone, where police never took fire, nor did a thing to end the violence. So much for your "highly-trained officers" and their "high-powered rifles." ONE person with a handgun could've saved dozens of lives, but instead, the law-abiding citizens fell to one crazed murdered with the intent and desire to do harm. Congratulations on your gun-free zone, Larry. I hope you sleep well.

Ghost-Riding: Brake-Dancing With Zip Under the Hood

My college-age son introduced me to the phrase "ghost-riding the whip" a couple of weeks ago, and explained to me all the intricacies of how the Bay-Areas hip-hopsters made this all the rage. In a nutshell, your car is stopped, but not in gear, and moving at an idle. You jump out of the car, and "get stupid" (yes, using quotes like that makes me feel really old). A "whip" is a car, btw. I tried explaining this phenomenon to my friends a week or so ago, but it got mostly mangled in the translation. Imagine my elation that the Washington Post has decided to report on this.

To ghost-ride, the driver climbs out of the car while it's moving at low speed. The ghost-rider then busts a move around and on top of the vehicle, usually accompanied by a thumping soundtrack from the car (or "whip," in urban slang). What they're attempting is to make the dance steps as gaudy and elaborate as possible and to stay outside the car as long as possible.

At least the Post is as uncool as I am.

The origins of this whole thing has its roots in the "hyphy" movement. Yeah, that's what I said, too. Here's the Post's explanation:

Hyphy (derived from "hyperactive") is also bass-heavy hip-hop music that celebrates things such as "thizz" (the drug Ecstasy); "scrapers," which are large, late-'80s domestic makes like Buick LeSabres and Oldsmobile Cutlasses; and oversize sunglasses, called "stunner shades."

All of that is referenced in the hyphy anthem, "Tell Me When to Go," by the Oakland rapper E-40 (sample printable lyric: "Ghost-ride the whip / Now . . . Scrape / Put your stunna shades on / Now . . . Gas, brake, dip, dip"). The song was on the album "My Ghetto Report Card," which topped Billboard's R&B and hip-hop chart this year.

Is it stupid, dangerous, and a waste of time? Bet yer ass it is. That's why it's popular.

"It's a fantastic waste of time, and it's really funny," says Andy Shields, a college student from the Chicago area who tried ghost-riding with some classmates this month. The stunt was in an empty school parking lot in Casey, Ill., during a recent road trip. As a buddy rolled tape, Shields car-surfed at about 3 mph atop a friend's Chevy Suburban.

Shields enjoyed the ride so much he's hoping to repeat it -- on a combine or a cement mixer.

I suppose we should thank the hyphy movement for helping to thin the herd. Darwin would be proud.

Woman Accidentally Shoots Self At Gun Range

A woman at a range in Oklahoma City was practicing her shooting, when a hot shell casing fell down the front of her shirt. The Girl can testify to the wisdom of NOT wearing a V-cut shirt to the range. So, she did what anyone would do in her situation:

She jumped as the hot metal touched her skin and reached for her chest. Police said that's when she accidentally shot herself in the leg.

Oh, wait - no. That's actually the wrong thing to do, huh? Of course, the range owner was quick to point out that this sort of thing was pretty mundane:

"Of course, we train for this, but unbeknownst to us, we had a gentlemen on the range who was a trained EMT. (He) took care of it immediately, and even though it was a shooting, it was actually very minimal," said H&H Gun Range owner Miles Hall.

Hall said the woman was embarrassed more than anything else.

Yeah, and he doesn't want to be sued more than anything else. Just a minor shooting, nothing to see here, move along...

Flu pandemic could kill up to 81 million people

Just in time for the holidays, MSNBC resorts to fear-mongering and hysteria. Why report on an influenza pandemic? Because the threat of one currently exists? Nah. Just because - it's a slow news day. Here's some more hard-hitting journalism:

One surprise in the new study was the huge variation in how different countries would be affected by a pandemic. The study estimates that 96 percent of the deaths would occur in the developing world. Murray and colleagues noted there was a 30-fold or more variation in mortality.

Okay - everyone that's surprised by this factoid, please raise your hands. Noboby? Yeah, I thought so. That's because mud-eating hut-dwellers don't have access to simple things like basic sanitation, running water, and medical care. Here's some more research from Doctor Obvious and company:

Another question is the impact a flu pandemic would have on those infected with HIV. Seasonal influenza exacts a heavy toll on those with weakened immune systems. So, in the case of a new pandemic flu, Murray’s estimate might be optimistic.

Wait - do you mean to tell me that SICK people are more prone to dying from influenza? Shocked, I am.

And what's the referential disease in this article, the main reason for this needless "don't panic!" article? Why, the well-known, deadly H5N1 bird flu, which has killed...um...tens of people. In third-world countries, where chickens live in the same domiciles as those infected.

What a waste of my time to blog this. Sheesh.

Nintendo to Recall Wii Straps

Click on the link above, and gaze upon massive stupidity. It's a picture of a broken 37-inch LCD screen. It's bleeding. Why? Because its owner has a Wii. In case you haven't seen the Wii controllers, they can be waved around in the air to create action on the screen when playing games. According to this article:

Baker cracked her LCD screen during a particularly spirited round of Wii bowling after snapping the controller's wrist strap and sending it into her flat-screen TV.

So, because people are STUPID, Nintendo is recalling the controller wrist straps.