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"Brainita!"
Animaniacs and all related characters are ©
and TM Warner Bros. Brainita script is ©1998 Warner Bros.
NOTE TO THE ARTIST:
For the sake of this story, Pinky and the Brain will be appearing as
Pinque (pronounced "peen-kay") and Brain(ita). PINQUE is our
story's narrator and "everymouse." He is dressed in a
vest and scarf, looking like a poor peasant mouse. Once Brain adopts the
role of BRAINITA, he is crossdressing, so costume him accordingly.
NOTE TO THE LETTERIST:
Much of the dialog throughout this script is intended to be read a
lyrics. We are trying to imply that all the characters are frequently
singing. Therefore, please break the lines in the balloons as the
lines appear in the script when ever "singing" is indicated.
Feel free to throw in a few musical notes here and there around the inside
edges of the balloons and captions to remind the readers that everybody
is singing. Thanks--J.E.
PAGE ONE
PINQUE in the town square of Julius in the country of Tangerina.
The year is 1952 and it is a bright, sunny afternoon. Tangerina
is a poor South American country and Julius is its capital. There
is a CROWD amassed for a state funeral. Right now, all we see is
Pinque surrounded by feet.
The time is seventeen years ago, but it is being played as the present
by the people in the story. Pinque, as he is singing, is addressing
the readers.
CAPTION: Seventeen years ago in the small South American country
of Tangerina...
PINQUE (singing):
Oh! What a funeral, it's quite a show!
Tangerina is filled with moans,
Over the loss of our hero,
Called Brainy Tutone!
Pull back to overhead shot showing the CROWD in the street mourning the
loss of Brainita. They are singing and dancing. PINQUE is
in the crowd, continuing to sing to the readers. The crowd has gathered
around the pedestal of what will one day be a monument to Brainita--this
should be a fairly massive structure as it will house our heroes and their
huge rainbow projector and a heckuva lot of milk cans later in the story.
Brainita's coffin is on the pedestal. In is a glass box affair--not
intended to be scary for the kids. Brainita is within, his "corpse"
blue. However, we should be too far from the scene to make out specific
details.
PINQUE (singing):
We've all gone Broadway!
Singing all day and dancing all night!
Tripping over our feet to get,
All the choreography right!
Biggest panel on the page. In the foreground, the blue BRAINITA
lies in suspended animation in his glass coffin. PINQUE is close
to the coffin--our narrator for the story--continuing to sing to the readers.
The CROWD beyond is singing and dancing its heart out, mourning the loss
of their spiritual leader. Leave room for title and credits.
PINQUE (singing):
But who was this Santa Brainita?
Why all this mushy musical madness?
What kind of genius,
Has tried to lead us?
How will we ever get by without him?
TITLE: BRAINITA!
CREDITS: Joe Edkin, writer etc.
PAGE TWO
Flashback begins--we are on a street in the poor part of Julius.
Poor MICE are trying to survive stealing crumbs of food from a street
FOOD VENDOR. Two of the mice on the street are PINQUE and the BRAIN,
although Brain is not trying to take the food. At the top of this
panel is a caption box including the small head of PINQUE.
CAPTION (Pinque's narration): "Brainita Verminte Tutone's
tragic tale begins on the streets of Julius, capital city of Tangerina.
*Narf!*"
PINQUE (singing):
Our country is poor, and we mice need to stay alive,
But without more food, we can never survive!
BRAIN (singing):
Fear not, Pinque,
I shall save the day!
PINQUE and the BRAIN have turned their backs on the other MICE.
Brain is surreptitiously showing Pinque a wheel of cheese.
BRAIN (singing):
For with my advanced home college degrees,
I have learned the secret to making cheese!
PINQUE (singing):
Egad, Brain! Now we can feed,
All the little mice who are in need!
BRAIN keeps the cheese away from PINQUE, holding his hand up in a "stop"
gesture.
BRAIN (singing):
Not so fast, Pinque!
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
PINQUE (singing):
I think so, Brain,
But floor varnish is not for drinking!
BRAIN hits PINQUE over the head with the wheel of cheese.
BRAIN (singing):
Try to keep up, my little friend!
I can put my skill to a better end.
PINQUE (singing):
When you swing the cheese with all your might,
Then I begin to see the light!
*POIT!*
Pull back to give the setting scope. Not only are the mice starving,
but so are the HUMANS on the street--and don't forget the FOOD VENDOR
who is nearby. BRAIN holds the cheese triumphantly, laying out his
plan for world conquest to PINQUE.
BRAIN (singing):
It's not just the mice who starve,
But the humans too!
With my cheese-making skills,
There's only one thing I can do!
BRAIN (singing):
If I promise them food,
They will surely follow me!
With their love and support,
I'll take over the country!
Then the world!
Yes! The world!
PAGE THREE
PINQUE is suitably impressed, but he sees one flaw in BRAIN's plan as
they walk through the streets of Julius. Brain is tucking the wheel
of cheese away.
PINQUE (singing):
Yes! Yes! The world!
No, wait! There's one problem, Brain.
You're such a tiny little mouse,
Whose name's not known in any house.
Who will hear what you espouse?
Won't your efforts be in vain?
PINQUE and the BRAIN walking through the streets. They are passing
under a "Vice President Juan Tutone says, 'A Better Day Is Coming!'"
poster.
BRAIN (singing):
I must meet a man who can,
Help me get my message out!
Someone pliable and dim,
Yet who has a lot of clout!
PINQUE: Vice President Juan Tutone!
BRAIN and PINQUE regard the poster.
BRAIN (singing):
Precisely!
I will be seen and heard, if I am in his life.
And what better way, his mind to sway,
Than to be his wife?!
PINQUE: Marry Juan Tutone? But how?
Montage of BRAIN posing in different dresses. There is a caption
with Brain's face in it as he sings his next solo.
CAPTION (Brain singing):
"I'll dress like a woman,
A beautiful woman,
I'll dazzle and beguile him,
By batting my eyes.
Once I've made him president,
The people will buy my lies!"
Brain is now BRAINITA and PINQUE looks at him in wide-eyed wonder (perhaps
doing his merry dance and clapping his hands) as Brainita walks out of
a boutique. Brainita is dressed in a smart two piece suit and skirt,
high heels, and has a blonde wig.
PINQUE: Oh, Brain, you look wonderful!
BRAINITA: Call me "Brainita," Pinque.
PINQUE: Ha ha! Right, Brainita! But how will you ever
meet the Vice President?
PAGE FOUR
(Make this the complete top tier of the page)
BRAINITA and PINQUE stand outside Acme Labs, Brainita putting on a sad,
vulnerable act.
BRAINITA (singing):
Tutone is in charge of the military testing,
That goes on in this laboratory.
I'll get a job here and when he comes in,
I'll tell him my heart-wrenching story--
Of how I rose from the streets.
He'll have no choice but to adore me!
BRAINITA and PINQUE are in a cage inside of Acme Labs. Brainita
is in the corner of the cage looking queasy. He is also completely
blue. There is a caption in the upper left hand corner of the panel
with PINQUE face in it.
CAPTION (Pinque): "And so Brain--er Brainita--took a job testing
artificial food colorings at Acme Labs..."
BRAINITA (singing):
I don't expect my plans will always turn out well,
But this indignity is worse than I feared.
Being used to failure, I anticipate it.
Oh why hasn't Tutone yet appeared?
So what happens now?
PINQUEtries to offer comfort (and a handkerchief) to his ailing blue friend
BRAINITA.
PINQUE (singing):
Another plan to be unfurled?
BRAINITA (singing):
So what happens now?
PINQUE (singing):
Another plot to rule the world?
BRAINITA (singing):
Where am I going to?
Blue BRAINITA pushes PINQUE's handkerchief away.
PINQUE: I don't know, Brain--er--Brainita. Peoria maybe?
BRAINITA: Enough of these sad ballads, Pinque. I must
take action!
BRAINITA swigs some antidote from a flask. He has reverted back
to his white fur, impressing PINQUE.
PINQUE: Ooooooo, Brainita! You're all white again!
How'd you do that?
BRAINITA: Just a little formula I worked out to control the
effects of the artificial food dyes on my system.
PINQUE: Zounds! I've been working on something too!
Hee hee! You wanna see?
PAGE FIVE
PINQUE unveils a lump of artificial cheese that looks like a clump of
grout. BRAINITA looks visibly disgusted.
PINQUE: By combining oil, water, milk byproducts, and pepperoni
flavoring, I have created an artificial cheese food substitute.
All I have to do now is figure out how to get it into an aerosol can!
BRAINITA: Why would anyone want an artificial cheese food substitute,
Pinque?
PINQUE and BRAINITA are still in their cage. Beyond them, we can
see A HUMAN FIGURE silhouetted against the window of the door into the
lab. This figure is Vice President Tutone. Brainita is "shushing"
Pinque.
PINQUE: I don't know, Brainita. Why would they want artificial
blue food coloring?
BRAINITA: Quiet, Pinque! Someone is coming!
TUTONE (from outside): Where is the little boy's room?
TUTONE has entered the lab, although we don't see their faces yet.
PINQUE and BRAINITA are in the foreground, the main focus of the panel.
BRAINITA (singing--at a whisper):
Vice President Tutone--
He's stupid but a big shot. He
Is the key to my success!
TUTONE (singing):
This isn't the potty!
TUTONE looks into the cage and BRAINITA vamps him. PINQUE has moved
to a far corner and is only observing.
TUTONE: What is a beautiful--but very short--lady like you
doing trapped in cage?
BRAINITA: Actually, I am a lab mouse embarking on a grand
scheme to take over the world!
BRAINITA (singing):
Please forgive me if I push too hard.
I would never want to offend,
but you have to comprehend,
I'd be good for you!
Brainita Verminte is good for you!
BRAINITA stands on the palm of TUTONE's hand as he hold him up to examine
the mouse in drag. He has left the door to the cage open, and PINQUE
is stepping out.
TUTONE (singing):
What you sing does intrigue me.
You remind me of a dress up doll.
And you seem to have a lot of gaul.
So, how can you be good for me?
How can Brainita be good for me?
PAGE SIX
BRAINITA, still standing on JUAN's hand, explains his plan.
BRAINITA (singing):
I'm one of the little people,
The ones you have to inspire.
We're the ones who can put you in power,
by forcing force the president to retire.
For delivering my people to you,
Marrying me is what I require!
JUAN kneels on one knee, letting BRAINITA walk off his hand on to the
floor. Beyond them, PINQUE is lowering himself from the lab bench.
JUAN (singing):
If you achieve your goal,
And make me president,
To be your husband,
I will consent!
BRAINITA (singing):
Just give me three days,
To achieve our ascent!
A brilliant scheme,
I shall foment!
BRAINITA, holding up a wheel of cheese, addresses a CROWD OF POOR MICE
who are listening with rapt attention. (More likely, they're coveting
the food.) PINQUE is in the front line of the crowd. There
is a caption in the upper left hand corner with PINQUE's face in it.
CAPTION (Pinque singing): "Two and a half days later. *Narf!*"
BRAINITA:
I'm only a poor lab mouse with one lofty goal!
Your lives and your world I want to control!
If you help me get ahead,
I'll make sure that you're all fed!
I promise a wheel of cheese in every bowl!
A mob of MICE, some carrying banners stating, "Tutone for President,"
march through the city streets, led by BRAINITA and PINQUE.
BRAINITA (singing):
Follow me, my cousins, to the capital!
For a new president we must now install!
MICE pour into the capital building as BRAINITA commands them, PINQUE
at his side giggling with glee.
BRAINITA (singing):
A new Tangerina is well within our sight!
A new Tangerina with all wrongs put to right!
PINQUE: Hee hee! Revolution is fun, Brainita!
I like the singing part!
The PRESIDENT and his ADVISORS run out of the capital in fright, passing
BRAINITA and PINQUE.
PRESIDENT: Eeeeek! Mice!
ADVISOR: Run away! Run away!
BRAINITA (singing):
The president's gone and this I avow.
Tutone and I will lead our country now!
PAGE SEVEN
A few days later, on the balcony of the capital building, a SOLDIER introduces
JUAN to the huge CROWD of people below. In the upper left hand corner
of the panel is a caption box with PINQUE's head along its left edge.
CAPTION (Pinque): "Brainita's plan was a success, so
Juan married him as promised. Soon..."
SOLDIER: People of Tangerina, I give you your newly appointed president--Juan
Tutone--and his wife, the first lady of Tangerina--Brainita Verminte
de Tutone!
Cut to the room on the other side of the balcony. BRAINITA, unaware
that he is partially blue, prepares to step out onto the balcony beside
JUAN. PINQUE is panicking, trying to stop Brainita from going outside.
When Brainita is turning blue, let's make it visually funny--rather than
having go from light blue to dark blue in stages, half his face might
be bright blue and the other perfectly normal, etc.
PINQUE (singing):
Oh, Brainita, you're
High flying, adored, gallant!
You've really won the day!
But you're turning blue! You can't
Show your face that way!
BRAINITA drinks some of his antidote, restoring his healthful white fur.
PINQUE is relieved.
BRAINITA (singing):
High flying, adored--it's true,
I'm the perfect megalomaniac.
But this turning blue,
Could be a major drawback.
BRAINITA (singing):
The people might turn on me,
If they think that I am weak.
I must play on their loyalty,
While a permanent cure I seek.
BRAINITA stands on the ledge of the balcony in front of the old fashioned
microphone in a shot reminiscent of the iconic Eva in front of microphone
scene that summarized Evita. JUAN is behind Brainita, waving at
the crowd.
BRAINITA (singing)
Don't cry for me, Tangerina,
We've won, but the fight's just beginning.
I need your love! I need your strength!
With your support, I'll set the world spinning!
Pull back for a long shot of the balcony and the CROWD below. From
the balcony, BRAINITA, JUAN and the Soldier at his side, continues to
address the crowd. The Crowd is cheering for Brainita.
BRAINITA (singing):
Don't cry for me Tangerina,
Though I may not be seen in public,
I'm still your leader! You will obey me!
And Ill make cheese for everybody!
CROWD: Brainita! Brainita!
BRAINITA steps back from the microphone as JUAN bends over to put his
face in Brainita's. The crowd's chants can still be heard.
SFX: Brainita! Brainita!
JUAN: Aren't you forgetting something? I am
the president, not you!
JUAN (melded balloon): Besides, how will you make that much cheese?
BRAINITA: I won't have to. Just raise their taxes and
we'll buy it.
PAGE EIGHT
This is a long panel that fill the top third of the page. Six months
later. Shot of a the main square of Julius. Poor, hungry PEOPLE
and MICE are in the streets, gathered around a stage where BRAINITA is
addressing the crowd. PINQUE is in the crowd.
POOR PERSON ON STREET (singing):
For six long months,
You and Tutone have been in control.
SECOND POOR PERSON (singing):
Forgive our confusion, Brainita,
we'd just like to know--
THIRD POOR PERSON (singing):
Where did all of our tax money
and the cheese that you promised us go?
BRAINITA (singing):
Everything done will be justified by my invention!
Cut to the Treasury room in the capital building. It is piled high
with cash--both paper and coin. (I kind of picture the money bins
owned by one of those duck characters from a company who shall remain
nameless.) BRAINITA is holding wads of paper bills in his fists,
his eyes wide with greed and power. PINQUE (as narrator) addresses
the readers.
BRAINITA (singing):
The people just don't understand.
This money is important to my plan!
PINQUE (singing):
And the taxes kept rolling in from everyone.
Brainy's little claws reached far and he had fun!
Now some may feel he should have put the money to good cause,
But he was convinced his scheme would win applause!
BRAINITA leads PINQUE into his workshop where he is constructing his rainbow
projector. This device looks like a giant laser cannon right out
of SciFi serials of the 40s and 50s. (Think Flash Gordon and Buck
Rogers.) The projector fills the room, its barrel aimed out a window.
I want the project to have truly exaggerated scale.
BRAINITA (singing):
Come, Pinque, see where the money's gone.
I have put it to good use,
Building my Rainbow Projector,
Which I will soon let loose!
BRAINITA and PINQUE stand on a platform where the controls to the Rainbow
Projector are accessible. Brainita is showing off his invention
with great pride as he explains his plan to Pinque.
BRAINITA: When I flip this switch, the projector will beam a magnificent
rainbow into the skies, blinding all the people on Earth, making it
easy for me to take over the world!
PINQUE: Brilliant, Brainita--but how will you power it?
BRAINITA points to a room full of milk cans which is just off the projector
room. The cans are connected to all kinds of wires and equipment,
the sort of thing that would do any mad scientist proud. PINQUE
is impressed by the sight.
BRAINITA: The milk that I have accumulated for the last six months
telling people I'd use it to make cheese is what really supplies the projector
with power!
BRAINITA: I never knew how to make cheese! It was all
a subterfuge so that I could build my greatest invention!
PAGE NINE
BRAINITA is about to flip the switch of the projector, PINQUE watching
in awe.
BRAINITA (singing):
Isn't it just divine, Pinque?
Soon the world will be mine, Pinque!
All I have to do is flip this switch, Pinque!
It'll go off without a hitch, Pinque!
PINQUE: NARF!
BRAINITA drops to his knees, hiding his face from PINQUE. He has
not flipped the switch on the projector. Pinque watches his friend
with sincere concern.
BRAINITA: ARRRRRGH!
BRAINITA: Oh no! Not now!
PINQUE: What is it, Brainita? What's wrong? Are you
turning into Mr. Jekyll and Dr. Hyde?
BRAINITA is blue! He struggles with his flask of antidote, his hands
shaking as he raises it to his lips. PINQUE watches, worried about
his friend.
BRAINITA: Wrong overblown musical, Pinque. No--
BRAINITA (singing--melded balloon):
The day I knew would arrive has come!
All my muscles are going numb!
The blue dye that infects me,
Colors, and affects me,
Is reaching its final outcome!
BRAINITA has drunk some antidote--a little dribbles down his chin which
he wipes away with the back of his hand. But instead of becoming
pure white, his ears remain blue. PINQUE holds up a mirror so Brainita
can see that his ears are still blue!
PINQUE (singing):
Your potion has lost its potency,
Look in the mirror and you'll see!
Your ears--they're still blue!
BRAINITA (singing):
This is as bad as things could be!
No one will take me seriously,
If I remain a blue hue!
PINQUE is puzzled by Brainita's previous statement. Meanwhile, BRAINITA
is in a manic phase. He knows what he has to do!
PINQUE: You mean you were expecting that people would take
a lab mouse dressed like a woman seriously?
BRAINITA: They were, Pinque, and they shall again! There is
a cure to my condition, but it requires that I go into a state of suspended
animation for seventeen years!
PAGE TEN
BRAINITA, his ears bright blue, tells PINQUE that he must address the
people of Tangerina. He'll tell them that he is dying, but that
he will come back--inspiring them to greater heights.
BRAINITA: I'll tell the people that I am dying, but that one day
I shall return--and on that day, they will love me and do
whatever I tell them!
PINQUE: Brainita, why don't you just do what you promised
and give everybody cheese? They'd really love you
then.
BRAINITA hits PINQUE over the head.
BRAINITA (singing):
That would ruin everything!
If they give them what they crave,
Then they wouldn't need me any more!
No, let them mourn by my grave,
And on the day that I return,
They will believe that they're saved!
This is a long panel that takes up the middle tier of the page.
BRAINITA is on the balcony of the capital addressing a CROWD of crying
people. Brainita has wrapped his ears in a turban so people can't
see that he is turning blue. Brainita is "putting on a brave
face"--of course, this is all an act to take in the crowd.
Teary-eyed JUAN at Brainita's side.
BRAINITA: And so, it is with a heavy heart * sniff*
my people, that I must tell you of my impending departure!
BRAINITA (singing):
Don't whine at me, Tangerina!
I'll be back some day to lead you,
You must be strong now,
I won't be long, how
Will you ever, get by without me?
CROWD (singing a Latin lament):
Vale, Santa Brainita!
BRAINITA walks into room just off the balcony. There, PINQUE is
drying his eyes with a handkerchief, his grief comically overwhelming.
SFX (crowd, off panel): Vale, Santa Brainita!
PINQUE (singing):
Oh, Brainita, it's so sad.
You were the best friend I ever had!
I don't think I can stop crying,
When I think of you dying!
BRAINITA sets PINQUE spinning by ripping the handkerchief out of Pinque's
hand.
BRAINITA (singing):
I've told you before, I won't tell you again.
I'm only going to sleep, I'll wake when,
The colorful toxins are out of my system.
When I wake, I'll take over the world then!
PINQUE: Wheeee-heeeeee!
PAGE ELEVEN
We cut back to the "present" as PINQUE stands beside Brainita's
glass coffin, in which the blue BRAINITA lies in suspended animation.
The CROWD has begun to thin out, the funeral over. The sun has begun
to set.
PINQUE (singing):
Oh what heartbreak! My best friend's gone.
He'll lie here asleep for years,
I don't know how I'll go on,
Through all of my tears.
PINQUE moves the glass coffin (using a hand truck) into the pedestal.
PINQUE (singing):
They're building a monument to Brainita,
And in the pedestal is where we'll hide!
'Till he wakes up,
I'll be right at his side!
Seventeen years later, inside the pedestal of the monument. An OLDER
PINQUE sits beside the class coffin in which BRAINITA lies in suspended
animation. Let's keep Brainita in silhouette to build the suspense
of whether or not his slumber has cured him. Also in the pedestal
is the rainbow projector and the milk cans are there as well. An
alarm clock goes off...
CAPTION: Seventeen years later...
SFX: BRRRRRRINGGG!
OLDER PINQUE: Oh goody! It's time to wake up
Brain--er, Brainita!
OLDER Pinque opens the glass coffin, revealing BRIANITA's sleeping body.
Brainita is no longer blue.
OLDER PINQUE (singing):
Rise and shine, sleepy head!
It's time for you to get out of bed!
You're no longer blue,
You know what to do,
The world's waiting to be led!
BRAINITA sits up in his coffin, stretching. OLDER PINQUE is thrilled
to see his fried awake.
BRAINITA (singing):
Yes!
The artificial die is gone from my bod!
It's time to rule the world like a god!
BRAINITA: Come, Pinky, to the rainbow projector!
OLDER PINQUE: Yay! Hooray!
PAGE TWELVE
BRAINITA stands on the operating platform of the rainbow projector and
flips the switch, but nothing happens. OLDER PINQUE is on the platform
with him, watching in anticipation.
SFX: Click!
BRAINITA (singing):
What's happening?
Something's not right!
The rainbow projector,
Isn't emitting light!
There's no power,
To make it glow bright!
BRAINITA examines the milk cans to find that they're empty. OLDER
PINQUE explains what happened.
BRAINITA: Pinque, what happened to all the milk that was
supposed to power the rainbow projector?
OLDER PINQUE: Oh, well, Brain--it's like this. The milk went
sour and turned to cheese years ago. The people were
still hungry, so they ate it.
BRAINITA looks excited and he heads for the door out of the pedestal,
OLDER PINQUE following.
BRAINITA (singing):
It's not over, I may have a chance!
If the people are still hungry, the plan can advance!
With my promises to make cheese,
I can take over with ease!
BRAINITA and the OLDER PINQUE emerge from the pedestal to see a thriving
city of well-fed (maybe even fat), happy people on a bright, sunny day.
The suit/skirt ensemble that Brainita is wearing should look hopelessly
out of date compared to what everyone else is wearing.
BRAINITA (singing):
Oh no! What has happened to Tangerina?
Everybody looks fat and happy and clean-a.
OLDER PINQUE: Isn't marvelous, Brainita? My artificial
cheese food substitute was a hit! It fed all the hungry people
and became the bedrock of Tangerina's booming economy! *NARF!*
BRAINITA begins to stomp off angrily, although with a sense of purpose,
OLDER PINQUE following.
BRAINITA: Come quickly, Pinque, we must go shopping!
PINQUE: Why is that, Brainita?
BRAINITA (singing):
You can't expect me to,
Take over the world to-
Morrow night in this,
Old frock, can you?
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