[01 [02] [03]

                                2 

                           THE STEWARDESS 

        The bus rushed, surrounded with gloom ocean. Neither lanterns, nor the moon, 
Stars, shining galaxies of cities. Deep, winter, cloudy night. Powerful 
Headlights rushed forth cones of light which snatched out the greased from darkness 
Road tape. Excellent, direct highway. And marvellously the deserted. Suddenly 
The stewardess has caught itself that already and does not remember when in last 
Time saw fires of counter cars. And overtaking was not too. The better. 
By the morning the bus will arrive to a terminal point, and she at last will have a rest. 
        She tested weariness which collected during many 
Days. Seldom it was possible to it to have a sleep more than four hours on end. Flight for 
Flight it carried out monotonous and not too a neat job. But 
After that flight long-awaited rest is promised to it. It planned nothing. 
It will operate on circumstances, choosing where to have a rest and as. 
Question «with whom?» Did not arise — she has got used to loneliness. A hard life 
Has accustomed it to that all hopes break, as waves, about rocks 
Insuperable destiny. 
        Nevertheless the stewardess liked its job. And, strangely enough, to it 
Night flights liked. There was something timeless on these trips to darkness. 
All other world disappeared, the past, and the extremely uncertain disappeared 
The future looked, petty vanity disappeared. Movement reminded also 
Falling in a precipice, also became a little terrible, but soon fear 
Disappeared, as if washed off by a head wind. 
        At times it seemed to the stewardess, that the bus has contained all remained on 
To the Earth also carries them in anywhere. It was existence in the pure state, nothing 
Veiled, — and the black hearts invisible in darkness, as gone out 
Stars, pulsed in the car, and in dozing consciousness is insinuating 
Dreams got. 
        But the stewardess struggled with delusion and usually overcame it. 
It was the nice, executive and accurate girl — not without reason it with 
Pleasure switched on in structure of any crew. Besides, she was able 
To be silent and listen, when the driver would like to be pulled about with somebody, and 
The partner slept. Its readiness to help was not strummed or calculated and 
Went directly from heart. It perfectly consulted with the duties. On 
To kitchen, close as a case, she felt the full mistress. And from 
Stewardesses too to no small degree depended, what will be mood 
Passengers to whom (she fine understood it) it was necessary hardly 
During distant flight. To sit, having writhed in an armchair, — after pair hours 
For the high, long-legged or full person it turned to torture. 
Poor creatures span, vainly trying to accept more convenient pose, some 
Extended feet in narrow pass — but the stewardess seldom irritated 
The obstacles arising on a way of its cart. She apologised, smiled in 
The answer to gloomy dissatisfied sights or frank rudeness, patiently 
Waited, while those lucky beggars who all the same managed to fall asleep will wake up, and 
Carried on salon drinks, cold snack, books, brochures and maps, 
Saw off children in a toilet, helped young mummies to calm down roaring children 
Or to change diapers, it was nursed with whimsical starikanami... In general, 
In total you will not list. Quiet minutes it had a seat in the zakutke and 
Closed eyes, trying to present, that is in a cabin of the ocean 
The liner which is carrying away it on paradise islands, but at it never it turned out 
To reach full illusion: constant vibration, a rumble of the engine stirred and 
Roughnesses of road. More likely she could imagine herself floating on a boat, 
Which persistently gets over from a wave on a wave in the restless sea, — not 
Salty splashes in the person and more sufficed only something imperceptible. Perhaps, 
Light of a far beacon or guiding star? 
        The stewardess did not know, that it is necessary for it, and, to tell the truth, did not like 
To be dug in the sensations. It was idle time, patient and in any situation 
Remained to correct itself. Thus it for some reason did not have girlfriends. Strangers 
Strangers seemed to it not that that more interesting — everyone carried away with 
Itself unsolved secret when passed by upon termination of flight and in the best 
Case thanked her. Certainly, it was pleasant to stewardess to hear it, but it 
Tried to be useful not for the sake of someone's gratitude. 
        Gradually the bus has become for it something big, rather than simply 
By car for transportation of people. She has got used for a long time and to a specific smell 
In salon which did not disappear, despite vetiljatsiju. The bus rushed 
On the accident bridge over a precipice of night, connecting coast of days. And, that 
Speak, and all these people risked the lives. Danger proceeded from 
Other mechanical monsters, from the unpredictable nature and from the crew. 
        The stewardess well imagined, than minute weakness threatened 
The driver. Road — a faceless witch. It is difficult not to give in to its charm. On 
To nights it abducts mind and drinks vital force. It withdraws to the last 
To short dream from which already there is no return. 
        Similar thoughts are inevitable, when shades slide behind glass and anything 
Not constrained imagination plays one collar, transforming harmless in the afternoon 
Phobias in all-consuming nightmares. Having recollected it, the stewardess has gone to 
To the driver to learn, whether all is perfectly in order and whether it is necessary for it something. It 
Smiled to it. It was the warm smile of the adherent. They — crew, and 
Are responsible for that passengers have got in time to destination. 
        He has asked to light for it a cigarette. His hands death grip 
Have seized a steering wheel. She knew, that he prefers "kemel". 
The filter from lips in lips — intimate business, almost a kiss, but is it did not confuse. 
They had to drink from one bottle and to sup from one bowl. Once they 
Have got stuck in snow drifts at a forty-degree frost, fuel has come to an end, and 
Fingers froze to metal. Everyone happened... 
        The stewardess has mechanically darted a glance at a speedometer, which scale 
It has been illuminated by illusive greenish sparks. All control panel 
Reminded the fallen asleep plenty of glowworms. The arrow of a speedometer has stood at a mark 
Hundred ten kilometres per hour. The stewardess has thought, what is it mnogovato, but 
Of course, it seem to know better to the driver. 
        Should be, they advanced the schedule. Means, it has overslept last 
Stop. Since then she saw only darkness behind enormous windows. Long, 
Too long stage. The stewardess worked for the first time on this route. If 
To believe the schedule, intermediate stations any more will not be. In the bus 
There were those who went to the end. The salon has been filled on three quarters — 
And hardly it will manage to close for a long time eyes. Unless at daybreak... 
        Own reflexion in glass seemed similar to a yellow mummy. 
The stewardess has writhed a mug, has wearily smiled to itself and has translated a sight 
On a leaf with the schedule, attached near a driver's cabin. And here it 
Has noticed, that will not manage to be verified with the schedule: a watch at it on a hand 
Have stopped shortly before midnight. When she has seen, that hours on 
To control panel have stopped at the same time (on the dot!), on it 
To back has run the chill of fear similar to touches of an evening fog in 
To deep valley. But who has lost the way in a far valley?. 
        The stewardess did not try to learn time from the driver — its both wrists 
Were bared and pale, as an ivory. The partner who was in 
Sleeping compartment, it did not begin to awake and has tried to calm down. It convinced 
Itself, that has dozed off and has lost sensation of time. It seemed to it, that have passed 
Many hours when actually she was awake all some tens 
Minutes. And passengers did not remind of the existence. 
        She has involuntarily looked back. The salon has been shipped in a deep twilight. 
The place was occupied in the first row with the careless fat man who has used 
Absence of the neighbour also has collapsed in enough ridiculous pose: he has managed 
To throw one thigh through an armrest of dual armchairs, has turned sideways 
Also slobbered on the snow-white crackling fabric fitting a headrest. 
Unpleasant type. It is remembered, it has licked its lewd sight, but now it 
porosjachi eyes were not visible and in eye hollows shades shook. 
        The stewardess has slowly moved on pass. 
        Places 2А and 2Б. Apparently, a married couple. The woman slept, 
Having put a head to the man on a shoulder. That read, holding magazine in a narrow beam 
The fixture with the rotary reflector, established in the panel over armchairs. 
However, having looked narrowly, the stewardess has noticed, that its pupils do not move. 
It simply sat, having stared in one point and, maybe, having plunged in 
Gloomy reflexions which were cast by impenetrable night and long road... 
        3А and 3Б. The woman with the four-year-old girl. On the person of mother — a mask 
Rest what happens only during very deep dream. A marble skin, 
Breath is imperceptible. Its dozing daughter has suddenly touched the stewardess for a hand. 
Thus it moved as the sleepwalker. When the stewardess has bent to the girl, 
That has whispered it on an ear some words. The stewardess has smiled and took 
The child on hands. The toilet has been located in the end of salon. 
        The fourth row. Three free armchairs from four. In one, to the left of 
Pass, the small dried up old woman suffering from the ideal sat 
Sleeplessnesses. At it big and by the form the heavy book in a lap laid. When 
The stewardess has appeared nearby, the old woman has raised the face on whom there was no also a shade 
Dream. Simultaneously it has closed the book, having put in pawn between pages the wrinkled 
Finger. The stewardess has looked at strange issued cover. A name of the author — 
James Joyce, — written by huge letters about what to it did not speak. 
        The old woman has good-natured smiled, having turned to the old woman. Rays 
Wrinkles have scattered from corners of eyes, cutting turning yellow parchment. It 
Has clapped ladoshkoj on an upholstery of the next armchair and has told in a low voice: 
        — Sit down, dorogusha, you, probably, have got tired. Let's chat 
About that about this. 
        The stewardess has smiled in the answer and eyes has shown on the girl. 
        — Perhaps, little bit later. 
        — Perfectly, — the old woman was delighted. — I wait for you. This devil's 
Joyce is even more boring, than Agatha Christie. 

                        *    *    *

        ... Having returned and more conveniently having arranged the child in an armchair, the stewardess 
Has prepared two cups of coffee, then, as well as promised, has sat down near the old woman. 
That was delighted both with coffee, and from possibility to chat. And much more, 
Than all books on light, it private life of the girl interested. 
        — Whether there is at you a friend, the darling? 
        The stewardess did not have a friend. At it in general was nobody. It would be desirable 
To it that somebody waited for its house? But it was the orphan, a vein in 
Hostel also did not know really, that such "house". But it could 
Much to tell about melancholy and hopeless expectation, about a saving cigarette 
Or the drink of tea replacing the most passionate lover... However that night 
It had a strange, inexplicable presentiment, that someone waits for it in 
The way end — and it will be a meeting of which the girl dreamt all life, even 
Not realising the vague and shy, deeply hidden desires. The one who 
Waited for it, had no person or a sensual image. It was a part surrounding 
Infinity — a shade in darkness, silence in silence, a gate in emptiness... 
        In conversation with the old woman time has imperceptibly flown by, but to measure it 
The stewardess could not. The sense of the majority of questions escaped consciousness. 
Despite external affability, in the old woman there was something tenacious and 
The ruthless. She asked on job, about the past, but words has not told 
About the future. It as if has bewitched the stewardess, and that is obedient sat next, 
Looking at a wizened face in an aura of a grey hair, and round this person, as the salary 
A certain terrible blasphemous icon, black ice of the glass reflecting has fallen asleep 
Badly distinguishable silhouettes, but not passing outside neither light, nor sounds... 
        Possibly, the stewardess all the same has dozed off, lulled by a murmuring stream 
The old-womanish chatter, and that did not begin to awake her. And the girl has overslept too 
Long, however did not see dreams. 
        She was woken by any sound similar to a remote cry of a pipe or 
Automobile siren, but it is not excluded, that it has dreamt it also. The stewardess 
Has shaken a head, banishing a sleepy stupor. The old woman was sleepy over the 
The book; it looked grown stout and darkened, as if the sated vampire. 
And behind windows still there was a darkness. 
        The stewardess has moved on pass, peering in a haze flying 
Towards, in vain hope to see at least a hint that exists 
Place where there should arrive the bus. A place promising rest. 
        Also ashes fell. Ashes, instead of snow. 

                        *    *    *

        ... The Driver smiled. Otherwise also could not be: it has lost for a long time lips. 
In a teeth of the dead person sitting at the wheel, dotlevala crookedly inserted cigarette. 
Decoloured kosmy hair hanged down from the head reminding the inflated pumpkin. 
The right foot put in a heavy boot, continued to press on a gas pedal. 
        The road has gone under a bias. The bus was accelerated — and the stewardess felt 
It all untimely withering body. At speed hundred fifty 
Vibration has amplified and has become almost intolerable. In salon were distributed 
Silent, but distinct sounds: clicks, a crunch, a crash... At inflated to 
Unrecognizability of dead persons the skin burst. 
        And to an underworld it was still too far. 

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