Occasionally,
Harold Underdown is swamped with work, so I sometimes have to
keep one or two columns here until he has the time to add them
to my page on his website.
I
critique many manuscripts, and what often jumps out at me is the
wordiness of the pages. Excessive wordiness is a rejection waiting
to happen! Combine this with the Big Yawn of wimpy verbs
and tired adjectives, and you have the makings of a "double
whammy!"
Words
are a writer's stock in trade. Sure, there are computers, printers,
pencils and paper. There are also terrific ideas. However, when
your butt hits the chair, the things I mentioned above count for
nothing if the right words don't come to you. When they come, the
words need to be powerful, humorous, fun, evocative, and active.
They must intrigue, lure, beguile and appeal. Your words need to
grip the reader's imagination and emotions, sweeping them into the
tale you are telling.
Writers
who allow waffles to sneak into their completed manuscripts, with
or without maple syrup, are begging for a rejection letter. Over indulgence
in any form is bad for you.
› Take Eating for Example:
too much of a good thing will make you fat. Your thighs become heavy,
your butt wobbles, and your underwear pinches in places we won't mention.
› The Same Happens
With Writing: excessive words make your chapters too fat.
Your paragraphs wobble and become top heavy, and your plot suffers
the bloat of wordy descriptions in places it was never meant to go.
Removing
the Waffle from Your Literary Diet:
Don't worry about your first draft. Waffles are products of swift
thoughts and wild imaginings. A few waffles might even escape future
rewrites and tweaks. That final polish is when you need to cut the
fat.
The
First Step:
Bottom drawer your manuscript for at least two months: forget about
it. Write something new. Doing this will open your eyes to things
you missed during previous overhauls, tweaks and rewrites. You will
be amazed at what jumps out at you, begging to be pruned, shortened,
or scrubbed altogether. The Bottom Drawer method can be an awesome
writing tool. Kill the following on sight, plus similar word-pests:
very, nice, get, like, some, seemed. They simply add
to your word count. Use Find to zap them. If you need
a more powerful replacement, use Shift F7 to bring up Word's Thesaurus.
Don't repeat yourself. Say it once, say it well, and then move on.
Where
you used fifty words to tell your reader something, see if you can
make the same point using thirty words. Dig up several active verbs,
plus a quirky or memorable adjective or two. Then, turn the sentence
inside-out and upside-down. Give it a thirty word makeover that has
punch, sass, or zing! Try this throughout your manuscript. Guaranteed
to deconstruct the most stubborn waffle.
The
Second Step:
Beware of sidetracks. These are areas where your waffles develop a
separate track, and remove the focus from your main characters or
your plot. Every word you write needs to move your plot forward, or
develop and set up your characters. Look at those places where you
waxed eloquent. Are they vital to your story line? Have you woven
in a subtle clue or background element. . . or, is that bloated paragraph
really an unnecessary sidetrack with no payoff for your story line.
Cut the excess fat. Put your pages on a no waffle diet. Often, less
is more.
Turn
the Big Yawn into the WOW Factor:
The time to actually unleash the Hounds of Find and Replace
is when you do that final polish. Remember, writers who generate dull
and unimaginative adjectives and verbs, will receive a big yawn instead
of a WOW! When you give your manuscript that final read through, check
every verb and adjective in your handy-dandy Word Thesaurus - ShiftF7
(or Thesaurus of your choice). Replace those tired and the overused
verbs and adjectives (see examples below) with evocative and action
packed alternatives:
Wimpy
Verbs (yawn) . . . .Verbs with Muscle,
Power and Action
As you
can see, using Find & Replace, in conjunction with a good Thesaurus,
will help you craft chapters that are gripping and inspired. And yes,
by all means go for hot waffles at breakfast: just don't serve them
up in your chapters.
of Writing for Children
a column by Margot Finke