Since ever I remember, I have believed in God and had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  Since becoming involved in worship about 15 years ago, that relationship and faith have deepened significantly.  I only wish I would have discovered the reality of His Presence and the reality of Jesus being active in our lives so much sooner.  But the Lord has been so good to me,  to draw me and open my heart to Him.  Many of the profound events happened at worship conferences, retreats, and revival centers.  But also there are many sweet experiences in our local church while serving on the worship team.  As I get time to fill out the site, I will write about some of these experiences that shook and rearranged my life and dreams.     

 

About 15 years ago, we attended Middlesex UMC near Carlisle, PA.  Rev Gene asked some of us to help with the worship service on Sunday mornings.  We did the responsive reading, started the hymns, and took the offering.  Of course I was nervous about it and didn't like being in front of people, even if the church was filled with many friends and family.  Oh, the little things you don't think about when watching the progression of a traditional worship service.  So do you give the ushers the top plate or the bottom offering plate first?  When you get them back, what on earth do you do with them?  I remembered Rev Gene would take them back up to the altar, lift them up before the Lord, sing the Doxology, and pray for the Lord to receive our offering.  I could do that, especially with my father in law, Robert Preston playing the pipe organ - his musical cues would get me through it.  So I somehow fumbled around with the plates a bit, turned and walked up to the altar.  Strangely, it felt a little different this time, approaching the altar.  There was a bit of awe and reverence for the Lord stirring in me.  So as I spread out my hands before the Lord and sang the Doxology..."Praise God from whom all blessings flow..."  I felt His Presence like never, ever, before.  I didn't know what it was but I knew it was good and I didn't want to go.  As we sang, I started to weep and it was hard to get the words out for the prayer.  That moment was a turning point in my life.  There was a reality of God that I hadn't pursued.  He had touch me.  He had awakened me with that touch.  It was His move and not mine.  He chose to draw me near.      

 

In the early 90's, Christ Community Church had two worship conferences I attended.  Pastor Gene had asked me to go with him and then had a pastoral duty come up so he could not attend.  On Friday morning, I attended and made sure I sat in the front row to be near the Fire!  I asked the Lord to teach me how to worship Him in the way He wanted to be worshipped.  Pastor Dave lead worship from a piano that was almost directly in front of me.  The first thing I became aware of was the lifted hands of others, as we worshipped.  I said to the Lord, I can do that.  That is not too hard.  So there I was, for the first time ever, lifing my hands in worship to the Lord.  I remember how wonderful it felt.  I could feel His presence (just like at the altar back at Middlesex) and it was warm and wonderful.  Then I distinctly felt to fall to my knees and bow down.  Oh my, I looked around and no one else was doing that!  I said to the Lord, "now that makes me feel uncomfortable, I'm not sure I can do that.  No one else is doing that.  That is stretching me a good bit."   As soon as that thought left my mind, the lady beside me, fell to her knees.  And so did I.  I wept and wept, as I bowed down, face on the carpet.  Surrender and release.  Surrender and release.  All my brokenness layed at His feet. 

 

I came back from the conference and said to my musician buddies, "We are singing in the wrong direction".  The first worship band at Middlesex was born and I've been leading worship ever since.  And the River keeps getting deeper......     

 

Shortly after the Christ Community Conference, some friends hopped in the van and headed to King of Prussia area for a Vineyard conference.  It was the first time I heard Rita Springer lead worship and Danny Daniels and John Barnett, as well.  Well, it was the first time of really getting blasted by the Lord during a worship time.  It was a powerful, life altering moment and we were all so unexperienced with the setting and the move of the Lord in the way that it came.  My buddy Steve came out of a Danny Daniels sessions and couldn't speak for about 45 minutes.  He really met the presence of the Lord head on and every time he tried to speak, he would just start crying.  This was the reality of the Lord, heaven now but not yet, that was completely out of our control.  That was so very pleasant!  We again came away changed forever.  That seems to be a common thread in all these expriences - if you meet with the Lord, you come away changed forever.    

 

This was one of those moments that really altered the course of my life forever.  IBM sent me to training in Toronto.  Pastor Gene suggested I visit the Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship.  Just as background, I was not feeling well at the time.  Actually, it was March and I had been sick since October with a stubborn asthma that would not go away despite multiple trips to the doctors and multiple constant medications.  The medications only suppressed it some.  It was very noticable as I could only talk for about 30 second before launching into uncontrolled, deep coughing.  IBM was checking my office space for contaminents and leading worship was really hard. Singing was extremely difficult as I couldn't get a full breath. 

 

Take this next part in with the realization that even though we were starting to lead worship, our experience of His Kingdom now was very little.  We were really newbies, trying to figure things out as we went.  Our worship was filled with faith and a hopeful expectation.  While we all (the worship band) certainly felt the Lord's presence during worship times we certainly didn't live or worship in a wild, charismatic environment...yet, anyway.  We still worshipped in a very quiet, small, traditional, country Methodist church.

 

After class, on Wednesday night, I followed the directions to the church.  I travelled about 40 minutes across Toronto to a location in amongst low office buildings.  Even before I walked in the door I felt something stirring in me.  I went in and sat fairly near the back of a large open area, in the midst of many, many people. The meeting was quite different from any of my prior worship experiences with people laughing and all kinds of other sounds during worship and throughout the message.  At the beginning, I remember a family with two young kids near the front.  The kids were just being kids, not wanting to sit still or listen to the service.  I didn't hear why but the woman needed prayer for something. In the middle of the message they prayed for her.  She fell over and then they prayed for the children who promptly went down on the carpet beside her.   They went from a very active state to being completely still, at peace, fast asleep.  I noted that event as a mark of the authenticity of the Lord's presence.  Even with the odd events throughout the service, it was a pretty normally arranged service with worship time and then a message.  Then something I never experienced before.  They had a ministry time following the message.  The worship team came back up and the the pastor gave directions on where to stand to receive prayer.  I have to note this was way outside any experience I had before.  At our UMC church, if you went up front for prayer, something was going on and there was lots of talk.  But I had this sense that the Lord wouldn't hurt me so I hesitantly went up for prayer.  Actually, I travelled about 4 rows at a time and then sat back down to talk myself out of going up to receive prayer.  I found myself a quiet spot near the back of the platform and just worshipped the Lord.  By this time, many people had already received prayer and I figured maybe they wouldn't find me!  At no point during all of the time at the service did I even think about the asthma or asking the Lord to heal me.  In the midst of worshipping my heart out to the Lord, two fellows came over and prayed for me.  Almost immediately,  I had a vision of blinding, white smoke billowing all around me.  My thoughts were pretty wild at this point.  All of a sudden my body, involuntarily by my efforts anyway, started to deeply inhale the smoke.  My body was breathing it in as deep as it could be breathed in.  Overwhelmed by the feeling of the Lord's Presence and the vision, I fell to the floor.  Sometime, maybe 45 minutes or so later, I slowly picked myself up off the floor.  After getting myself together since I was fairly stunned by the experience and not sure how to process it, I got back in the car and started back to the hotel.  About 20 minutes into the trip, I realized that for the first time in almost 6 months I could breathe a full breath.  That night I stopped using 3 inhalers and oral medication.  I drove across Toronto in a flood of tears, quite blown away by the reality of the Lord.  He was not far, far away.  He was very, very close and very, very real.  The fact that He healed me in that instant and the reality of the experience changed my life forever.  His touching and healing me is something I can't reason away.  It is just fact that it happened.  It is a truth. I am changed forever.  The truth?  The LORD is real and He is truely with us in this world.  And He is not just watching us.  He is active in the lives of believers and in the world.  For me, the reality of the LORD is an absolute because of this experience.  My faith and beliefs became an absolute reality for me.