A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

Join Trey and Blon, two girl crazy Jedi Padawans as they attempt to save Alderan High School from the most dangerous force in the universe...themselves.

A six-part not-so-epic space opera in the tradition of...well...nothing...

"STAR WARS HIGH SCHOOL"

EPISODE 4: A NEW DOPE

     "Deathsticks, deathsticks.. Hey, want to buy some deathsticks?" The dealer looked around trying to sell his product. "Come on kids, get your deathsticks here!"
     Schnik! The lightsaber cut his hand off.
      "No selling drugs on school property", the security droid intoned. "Move along".

      Down the hallway and around the corner, Trey and Blon moved along to their class.
     "Man, that was a bummer...somebody had already started a food fight", complained blon.
      "Yeah, remember when we used to be the only ones who did that? I hate it when you become a celebrity and every body starts copying you...makes me feel like a boy band..."
     "Hey Trey", Blon suddenly blurted, "guess who I heard likes you?"
     He turned to Blon. "Who?"
      "Slobba The Butt".
      "Oh no, not her. I thought she was going with Hernia Lightsauce."
      "She was, but he dumped her. Word has it that he is in love with a senator."
      "A senator? Yuk! That's disgusting.... which one?
      "Senator Petme Givemeadolla!"
      "Ohh, that senator. Wow!"
      "Wow ain't the word. There's no word to describe her beautifulness."
     Trey was already daydreaming.
     "And guess what", Blon asked grinning.
     "What?"
      "She's coming here."
     "No way! "
      "Yes, she'll be here this afternoon I heard."
     "Who's been assigned to protect her?"
      "Nobody. She doesn't use protection."
     They both grinned at each other, and then a big furry hand landed on each shoulder. Trey and blon turned around to see the biggest wookie they'd ever laid eyes on.
      "Uh oh", said Trey. "Blon, did you beat him in chess again?"
      "Well.... I was going to let him win, but..."
      Suddenly they were both lifted off the ground and bodily carried to Master Friendu's office.

      "Boys, I don't know why, but I'm counting on you..."
      "What's wrong, Jedi Master?"
     "There is a new drug circulating at Alderan High. I want you to find it and get rid of it."
      "Okay", said Blond confidently. "You can count on us."
     "I doubt it", mumbled the master.

     "What do we know about drugs", pondered Trey as they shuffled down the hallway.
     "Well we know if you take a toke inside a closed stormtrooper mask you'll get high quicker..."
     "Oh yeah, I forgot about that...but I wonder what this new drug could be."
     "Remember when Jedi Master Knews Huey said he wanted a new drug?"
      "Yeah", recalled Trey. "He wanted one that wouldn't make him sick".
      "That's right..."
     Suddenly a guy stopped them in the hall. He was green and had a large fin on his head. "You guys want a new drug?"
     "Yeah sure", Blon said.
     The dealer motioned them into the waste room. They followed him in and to their luck no one else was in there. The guy pulled some white sticks out of his pocket.
      "Is that all you have", asked Blon.
      "Nope, got my pockets full."
     "Are you the only one selling it?"
      "Yeah, I'm the man", he exclaimed proudly.
     "And this is the new drug that's going around?"
     "Yep."
     Trey and Blon pounced on him and beat him senseless. They emptied his pockets and Blon snarled in his ear.
      "We are Jedis in training. Don't push our buttons and make us go over to the dark side just to kick your butt."
     The guy fled the waste room, but not before the two padawans relieved him of his drug supply.
      "So what are we going to do with this stuff", trey asked.
      "Friendu specifically asked us to find it and then get rid of it", answered Blon.
      "Okay then, you first."
      "Cool', said Blon lighting one of the sticks with his official Jedi Bic lighter.

      "Well, I don't believe it", Friedu exclaimed. "I'm proud of you boys.... So, you found the new drug?"
      "Yes sir", mumbled Blon, trying to finish off the super size bag of choco chips in his hand.
     Trey nodded in agreement working on his seventh hot dog.
      "And did you get rid of it", he asked, staring into their glassy, red tinged eyes.
      "Yup", they both grinned. "And the whole school helped too!"
     Suddenly the school intercom came on. "Attention students! The cafeteria is having a special magic brownie bake sale. Please form a single line and we'll all have a...excuse me (inhale) (cough) (cough)...man, this is some good stuff."
     The intercom went off.
      "You didn't", Friendu asked, looking at them very sternly.
      "It was the dark side", Blon tried to explain.
     "Mmm-Hmmm", the Jedi Master shook his head. "Boys, just when I think you've made me proud, you turn around and utterly amaze me..."
      "Thank you sir", they both giggled.
      "So...I'm rewarding you both by putting you on the starting string of the annual Jedi Masters Vs. Padawan Learners softball game..."
     "Oh crap", they both wailed, for they knew they were about to get humiliated in front of the whole school.

END OF EPISODE 4

LOOK FOR TREY AND BLON TO RETURN IN "EPISODE 5"...IF YOU GOT THE STOMACH FOR IT

Note: The author does not endorse smoking deathsticks, however he does like a good contact high every now and then...just kidding...he does endorse it...no just kidding there too...uh, are you like through with that cheeseburger?

"Star Wars High School" was written by Paul D. Aronson, except the part about drugs. Seriously, Mr. Policeman, it wasn't him.