A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

Join Trey and Blon, two girl crazy Jedi Padawans as they attempt to save Alderan High School from the most dangerous force in the universe...themselves.

A six-part not-so-epic space opera in the tradition of...well...nothing...

"STAR WARS HIGH SCHOOL"

EPISODE SIX: RETURN OF THE DEAD GUY

     The crash rocked the stadium. The umpire released Trey, Trey released a sigh of relief, and relief went right out the window. For it was not a fragment that had crashed, but an emergency escape pod. The crowd looked on as the pod door hissed open, and Petme rose to her feet.
      "Oh no", she cried, as the most vile vegetarian to ever set foot on any planet emerged from the craft. "Darth Tater!!"
     Blon drew his lightsaber, Petme drew her blaster, and Trey drew a really cute picture of a teddy bear.
      With his flowing purple cloak and robe (his black one was still at the cleaners) billowing out behind him, Tater cackled.
      "There can be only one!!"
      Everyone was silent.
      "Oh wait...sorry, that's not right...let me try again..." he stammered.
      "He thinks he's Highlander", whispered Blon to Trey as they now stood forming a defensive wall (albeit a little one) between Tater and the crowd.
     Then the evil vegan tried again. "One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them!...Oh hell, that's not right either...hold on a sec." He reached under his cloak and brought out an old comic book, flipping through the pages frantically. "Ah-ha! Here it is..." he cleared his throat. "Luke, I am your Father!!"
     Trey spoke up first. "Uh, excuse me sir, but who the heck is Luke?"
      "Huh?"
     "Who is Luke?"
     Darth Tater appeared puzzled. "Well...uh...I...Uh..."
     "I know who Luke is...", said a voice now coming across the field.
     They all turned in that direction.
      It was Petme, standing brave and deviant in the face of adversity, or something like that.
     "I can't believe none of you guys have ever watched General Hospital", she complained.
     They all rolled their eyes, except Tater who just rolled his visor.
      Petme then sighed. "Okay, look it's like this..Luke and Laura were in love, right. Everything seemed fine until at the end of the season when..."
      "Uh, excuse me Petme", Trey interrupted, "he doesn't mean that Luke...the Luke he is referring to is my grandfather, Luke Trytotalkher.
      "Oh my goodness", exclaimed Blon, "then that means Darth Tater is..."
      "Yes, my great Grandfather."
     "Gosh man", Blon said turning to the old sith, "You must be pretty old then."
     Darth stepped back unsteadily and pulled out his light saber. Everyone jumped back as he flicked the switch on the handle. Whoosh! The handle extended and everyone sighed in relief when they realized it wasn't a lightsaber, but a cane. He leaned on it and glared at Trey.
     "Now what I want to know is why did you blow up my Death Star? I just had it refurnished and my interior decorator is going to be mad as hell..."
     Trey and Blon both looked at each other in worry. They didn't have any money to pay for such repairs. They barely had enough for a bantha burger between them.
      "I'll pay for it", Petme announced.
     The two padawans turned to her with surprised looks on their faces. "You will", they asked incredulously.
     "Of course, I'll find a way for two young, muscular, handsome jedis in training to pay me back", she smiled seductively.
     The two boys grinned. "Alright", they exclaimed happily.
      "I feel the force rising again", Blon whispered in Trey's ear.
      "I've been wanting to build a 53 story palace from the natural rock caverns of my home planet, and well since the Brick Masons Guild went on strike and the Federation Labor Union disbanded I've been having trouble finding workers. You two will do just fine..."
      And then she turned on one heel and walked away, swishing her gown as she walked.
      "I think we've been had", mumbled Trey.
      "The force has left me", Blon added.
     "Well boys", Darth Tater said, "I guess nearly everything works out then."
      "Nearly everything?"
     "Well, there is still the matter of my interior decorator..."
      "So what", Blon spoke, "give her a couple of credits and tell her you hired someone else..."
     "It's not that easy, son. You see, she's been training to replace me as Dark Lord, and she tends to take things seriously."
      "Hmmm, sounds like that Goth chick everybody used to pick on last year."
      "Yeah", added Trey. "What was her name again?"
      "I think it was Donna."
     Tater perked up. "Yep, that's her. You guys know her?"
      "Well sort of", explained Blon. "I used to call her Darnya, and Trey replaced her black crucifix with an Easter bunny."
     "Ooh boy, you guys are going to be in trouble now."
      "Why? She Ôs just Donna."
     "She's Darth Donna now..." the sith explained.
      "Damn", trey fussed.
      "What", Blon asked him.
      "Looks like there will be an episode seven..."
      "Crap", Blon whined.
      "Pooie", Tater exhaled.
      But Petme , now halfway across the field, just smiled. The prophecy was coming true. Star Wars would never end...

THE END....

Note: Petme Givemeadolla is hot....

"Star Wars High School" was written by Paul D. Aronson. All complaints however should be forwarded to his agent, the feared Jedi master, Cry-On Jim.