"Young Girl Remembering Her Suicide"

You know I didn't mean to kill myself
I just felt oh so alone
I remember filling that bathtub up
When no one was at home
They say the first cut is the deepest
But I didn't feel a thing
I never seen the darkness come
Staring at the ceiling light ring

I remember thinking of my best friend
And how maybe she would miss me
After all the times we shared
Sometimes she was the air I breathed
I couldn't help but think of the boy
The one I'd never kiss
But the warm water soothed me then
And I forgot the things I'd miss

I never saw the clear water turn crimson
I don't remember if it got cold
All I know is I was just seventeen
But Lord I felt so old
Mama, I don't want to die
Father, I hope you go to hell
You never were my real daddy anyway
Maybe that's just as well

I remember how the light faded
And for a moment I changed my mind
I didn't want to leave this way
I just wanted the pain to be left behind
And I know there are others like me
I just wish I could tell them to stay
Don't do as I have done
And leave the world emptier this way

For I never knew how much I was loved
The boy I never kissed sat and cried
My best friend never got over how I left
Mother mourned my suicide
Through it all I wish I could go back
Say I'm sorry to my family and friends
Because now I feel lonelier than I ever was
And I just want to live again