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The following are appropriate quotes about God, humankind, and general
truisms about life.
Section One - Quotations
Section
Two- Musings
*The Djoha and the Four Boys
*God and the Scientist
*Children's
Letters to God
*A Million Dollars
*The Blind Men and the Elephant
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Section One - Quotations
God Wills All
If God did not exist it
would be necessary to invent him.-- Voltaire
This is God’s playground
and He can to put square pegs in round holes as He so chooses.
What we see as exceptions
are part of God's purpose.
If God does not approve, a fly won't make a move. -A Yiddish folk saying
Whatsoever is, is in God. - Spinoza
What
has been will be again,
What has been done will be done again;
There is nothing new under the sun
Ecclesiastes1:9
But helpless pieces in
the game He plays
Upon this checkerboard of nights and days;
Hither and thither moves, and checks, and slays,
And
one by one back in the closet lays. - Omar Khayyam
God does not throw
dice - Einstein
Even a single hair casts its shadow. - Publilius Syrus
There is always someone worse off than yourself. - Aesop
I complained because I had no shoes until I saw a person with no feet.
There
is nothing permanent except change. - Heraclitus
The life which is unexamined is not worth
living.- Socrates
As
men, we are all equal in the presence of death. – Publilius Syrus
Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts
absolutely. – Lord Action
For want of a nail, the shoe was lost;
For
want of a shoe, the horse was lost;
For want of a horse, the rider was lost;
For want of a rider, the battle was lost;
For want of a battle, the kingdom was lost!
It ain't over till it's over. - Yogi Berra
Any
thing that can go wrong, will go wrong. - Murphy's Law
Sometimes
you are the fly and sometimes you are the windshield.
Different
strokes for different folks.
It makes a difference whose ox is gored.
You do what you have to do.
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Section Two- Musings
The Djoha and the Four Boys
One day four boys asked the Djoha (wise man) " We have a bag of walnuts, but
we don't know how to distribute them among us. Can you help us?"
Djoha asked them,"How do you want me to distribute them
among you, God's way or man's way!"
"Of, course, God's way!" the boys answered in unison.
Djoha opened the bag and
gave two handfuls to one boy, one handful to another boy, the two remaining walnuts to the third boy, and none to the fourth
boy.
"What kind of fair distribution is this?" they asked.
The Djoha replied, "This is God's way. To some people He
gives much, to some a little and to others, He gives nothing."
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God and the Scientist
God was sitting in heaven when a scientist said to Him:
"God, we don't need you anymore.
Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing -- in other words, we can now do what you did in the beginning."
"Oh,
is that so? Tell Me..." replied God.
"Well," said the scientist, "We can take dirt and form it into the Likeness of you
and breath life into it, thus creating man."
"Well, that's very interesting...show Me", asked God.
So the scientist
bent down to the earth and started to mold the soil into the shape of a man.
"No, no, no..." interrupted
God, "Get your own dirt."
--Source Unknown
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Children's Letters to God
The following was taken from e-mails. The sources are unknown.
A nun asked her class to write notes to God. Here are some of the notes
the children handed in --
Dear God: I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday.
That was cool.
Dear God: Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones
You have?
Dear God: Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other so much if they had their own rooms. That's
what my Mom did for me and my brother.
Dear God: I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole
world. There are only four people in our family and I'm having a hard time loving all of them.
Dear God: In school
they told us what You do. Who does it when You're on vacation?
Dear God: Are You really invisible or is it just a trick?
Dear
God: Did You mean for the Giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
Dear God: Who draws the lines around the
countries?
Dear God: Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because
if You did, then I'm going to get my brother good.
Dear God: Thank You for the baby brother, but what I prayed for
was a puppy.
Dear God: Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
Dear God:
You don't have to worry about me; I always look both ways.
Dear God: I think about You sometimes, even when I'm not
praying.
Dear God: My brother told me about being born, but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they?
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A Million Dollars
A man is praying. He says, "God?"
God says, "Yes?"
The man says, "Can I ask you a question?"
God says,
"Go right ahead."
The man asks, "What is a million years to you?"
"A million years is like a second."
The man thinks
this over and then asks, "What's a million dollars to you?
God says, "A million dollars is like a penny."
The man replies,"Then
can I have a penny?"
God says, "Sure, just a second."
--A humorous anecdote quoted in Larry King's Powerful Prayers
(1998).
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A Good God Joke
Once I saw this
guy on a bridge about to jump.
I said, "Don't
do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves
you. Do you believe in God?" He said, "Yes."
I said, "Are you
a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me, too!
Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me, too!
What franchise?" He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me, too!
Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me, too!
Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me, too!
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative
Baptist Great Lakes Region."
I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council
of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!"
And I pushed him over.
-- Emo Philips
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The Blind Men and the Elephant
by John Godfrey Saxe
American poet John Godfrey Saxe (1816-1887) based the following
poem on a fable which
was told in India many years ago.
It
was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.
The First approached the Elephant,
And
happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!”
The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried,
“Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ’tis mighty clear
This wonder of
an Elephant
Is very like a spear!”
The Third approached the animal,
And happening
to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” quoth he, “the
Elephant
Is very like a snake!”
The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And
felt about the knee.
“What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain,” quoth he;
“ ‘Tis
clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!”
The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said:
“E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an
Elephant
Is very like a fan!
The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the
beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” quoth he,
“the Elephant
Is very like a rope!”
And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud
and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were
in the wrong!
Moral:
So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants,
I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!
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