Meet the Seaview Officers and Crew!

The Seaview is staffed with...well, let's just say these guys probably would have "washed out" in the real navy. Here's a brief biography for our principal, recurring characters.

Professionals of the Deep...

Nelsonbio

Admiral Harriman Nelson

The chief designer of the famous S.S.R.N. Seaview, the world's first (and probably last) civilian owned and operated submarine. Nelson's technical, biological, nuclear, and historical knowledge uniquely qualifies him as "the master of none". This status results in him inadvertently unleashing evil monsters of the deep, pissing off dead sea captains, and inviting every space alien nut case, who happens to be looking for cheap nuclear submarine power, to drop by and fuel their earth invading spaceships.

"Honest, I didn't know it was loaded."

Nelson was voted "Most likely to accidentally blow up the world" by his graduating class of 1959.




cranebio

Captain Lee Crane

Lee Crane is actually the second Seaview commander. Captain John Phillips was shot dead by a sniper in a hovering helicopter near the Nelson Institute. Interestingly this event was never revealed to Crane, however Seaview contains many tell-tale signs where Phillips name was removed from various crew efficiency reports with "Whiteout" and hastilly replaced with "Capt. Lee Crane - the new guy".

"Why do these guys
always chain me to
a wall without a view?"

Crane's distinguished career began at a local Radio Shack. He ran the Santa Barbara store with an iron fist. During his entire tenure at RS he never allowed a single customer refund and never handed out a free "Battery of the Month" to customers. To his credit, customers were routinely administered a "zap to remember" from his handy cattle prod, conveniently located behind the store battery case.

Nelson, impressed with the man's command prowess and willingness to give contradictory orders without a second thought, plus Nelson, being fresh out of navy commanders foolish enough to sign up in Nelson's navy, Crane was offered the job of Seaview captain.

Now Crane runs the most powerful submarine in the world.




Chip

Executive Chip Morton

Morton's keen ability to accurately repeat everything someone says came to him at a very early age. As a seven year old he could recall from memory every word uttered by his parents, including long romantic ramblings which he shared in "Show and Tell" at the local public school.

"We are already below 'crush depth',
as if anyone really gives a damn
about what I say!"

Morton answered an ad in the local paper, The Santa Barbara Shopper for the ship's "chief exec" position. His love for the sea and ability to make cheap gin from the ship's atomic reactor core cleaning solvent makes him the life of any party and a crew favorite.




Chief Sharkey

Chief Sharkey

Chief Sharkey is the only sane man on board the Seaview. He spends his days taking idiotic orders from alien possessed Captain Crane, or helps Admiral Nelson build one of his dangerous toys. Chief Sharkey is the "glue" that holds the motley "Seaview" crew and ship together.

"It's in my shoe
and it wants out.
What do I do now?"

Our C.P.O. has spent an entire career being chased by giant dinosaurs, plunged to the depths of the oceans in arrant flying submarines, and even heated to "baked potato" temperatures without so much as a negative word. C.P.O. Sharkey is actually dead, but doesn't want to bother the captain with that annoying fact.




Special Stan The Man K

Seaman Stan "The Man" Kowalski

Stan Kowalski was voted by his high school class as "most likely to incite a mutiny" and, in fact, has done so on numerous occasions. Kowalski's half baked

"Hey, for a space alien,
you got really cute antennas!"

reasons for throwing Crane and Nelson in the brig include, "this is margarine, NOT butter", "I heard voices and they WEREN'T coming from the Jell-O this time", and the ever popular, "because the evil alien MADE me do it!"

But, in spite of it all (and because of union rules), Special K remains on board the Seaview, cleaning (and sometimes inadvertently launching) ICBM's located in the submarine's Missile Room.




pattersonbio

Seaman Patterson

Patterson is a nice guy and likes to pal around with Kowalski. They spend evenings together playing cards and plotting the latest crew take-over of the Seaview.

"Yes mother.
I will, mother."

Patterson enjoys golfing, playing tennis, and shooting deep sea creatures. Patterson is usually the first guy in the crew to come down with some alien disease or evil spirit possession. Because of that, he's also the first guy to try the new serum (while restrained, of course) cooked up by our own "Doctor Doom".

Patterson is a Libra and has a sensitive side he doesn't always show publicly. Patterson is also a serial killer.




Doctor Doom

Doctor Doom

I don't think anyone addressed him by his given name but he's routinely called upon to excise the latest deep water virus infesting the Seaview crew.

"It's $50 a hit.
Do you want to borrow
my water pipe?"

Doctor Doom, as I like to call him, is always the last guy some crazed crew member sees before he's injected with some drug. The doctor loves his job and is currently assisting Dr. Jack Kevorkian on his autobiography.