| As
many family and some friends know - in August 1999, a (melamona)
tumor was found to be malignant; with the help of Mya's step
mom - who noticed the mole that had manifested - Dcotor's
appointments were made, a biopsy was done and appointments
were made for Mya to be seen at Moffitt Cancer Center. On
Sept 22, 1999 - Mya had the tumor removed as well as the lymph
nodes on the right side.
After
a month of recuperation - Mya was back to her old self with
one exception - she was very conscience about how much she
was out in the sun ... (not that previous to that she was
always out in the sun .. she hardly was at least during the
time from when I first met her). However with the many moles
she did have - she would check them all the time for any changes.
Mya's
doctor (at Moffitt) told us that its a good thing that the
melanoma was found - if it had gone 4-6 months longer - then
a year from that time - we would have been planning Mya's
funeral.
I
remember talks of interferon and interleukin II (and other
chemotherapy as a precautionary measure) - even though Mya
and I were living together and I went to every Moffitt appointment
she had .. when it came to the actual appointment - I did
not go into the exam room because Mya didn't want me to -
but she DID have her step-mom Cocoa go in with her - so with
Mya (at 19 yrs old, and scared) she was no way in it alone
- we all were supportive and did as much as Mya would allow
us to .. she still called the shots.
At
the last appointment I attended and by then would be in the
room during the examination - Mya was told to keep an eye
on her moles for signs of changes, of course watch how much
time she spent in the sun etc .. and if there was change ..
come get it checked.
As
far as the chemotherapy - with what we all just went thru
over the last 7 weeks (5 March - 27 April 2003) of Mya's liefe
... one of the risks of the chemo - was the chance of Mya
not being able to have children .. so in retospect while in
1999 - Mya definitely said she didn't want to have any children
.. she thought ahead that she might want to .. so that was
one of the reasons Mya did not have the chemotherapy - also
her GREAT fear of needles .. and while I know no one likes
needles .. her fear for them was unlike anyone elses I have
ever known; I also know it was the side effects of being sick;
hair loss etc .. that also contributed to her not wanting
to have the chemo ... (remember she was all of 19 yrs old).
Putting myself in place (at that time) ...
| Over
the last weeks since Mya's passing - there has been
recollection of the first tumor and the appointments
to Moffitt - each of us recalling bits and pieces -
I was reminded that Mya was to part of the Sunbelt clinical
trail.
There
are gaps in my recollection due to the fact that for
4 months Mya and I seperated and had no contact with
each other - however I after we got back together I
recall asking Mya about her follow visits; I was recently
reminded that it was believed that in the clinical trails
- "the computer" put Mya on the side of the
clinical trial to receive no treatment. As to the criteria
that was involved I have no idea - but I recall Mya
mentioning that about what "the computer"
decided.
Note:
I am NOT about to play the "would a", "could
a", "should a" game with this ... "we"
as Mya's family (I feel) "we" did everything
thing we could to be supportive to Mya's and finding
out about the melanoma (1999) based on what we knew
at the time. I freely admit I had a difficult time following
what was going on then with "melanoma", "chemotheapy"
and related things as I am sure others in the family
did .. this time around (2003) I quickly became more
aware of things. |
Today
all of us that were an active part in Mya's life in the months
that followed Sept 21, 1999 - may now wish we would have gotten
Mya to have the chemo .. we did the best we could .. Mya was
young .. stuborn (okay independent is more politically correct)
.. and that is the way she wanted it .. but at the same time
... if she had the chemo .. and the one side effect of no
children became a reality ... then we wouldn't have River
... and with how much Mya loved River ... and seeing them
together ... years later - then that justified (to Mya) her
choice not to have the interferon ... what can you say? I
will miss Mya ... the legacy she left is our son ... who she
gave life to and brought into this world and love for the
last 17 months ... I honestly feel that if Mya had it to do
over and knowing that melanoma would take her life 4 1/2 yrs
later ... she still would NOT have done the chemo in
1999 - because she of the risk of NOT having River
or experiencing the joy of being a mother and loving him for
17 months. WHAT CAN YOU SAY? ... that is true love! |