Behind The Scenes At Chat 2000
By  LaDene Morton

Patti has asked that I take a turn this time at sharing a bit of the "behind the scenes" action at the recent chat with Robert Brown. I admit I had (and have) my reservations ¾ I’m not sure any part of the experience can be quite captured. And if it can, I’m not sure I should be the one to do it. I was just a "bystander" (as Karen called herself in the first chat). 
I suppose I should start out by saying that while the fans had been counting on this for weeks (I remember my own excitement in ’98!), the truth was, the chat was very nearly cancelled - several times.
First, there was the timing. Patti ¾ friend that she is¾ made every attempt to work around MY schedule, as I had planned to be in California for work for sometime. The only problem was, my boss and the client weren’t cooperating. They kept changing their minds, and wouldn’t pick a date. Out of necessity, Patti finally chose a date, and I insisted at work that this was the time I would be available to make the trip. I guess the boss realized he’d used up all his chits on this one, and before he could change his mind again, plane and hotel reservations were made. Done deal.
Next, there is the curse of Patti’s car. It’s a car straight out of a Stephen King novel ¾ Christine. "Christine" apparently knows when something big is happening in Patti’s life where success absolutely positively depends on it running. A chat was in the works for last fall, but "Christine:" had other ideas, and that chat never came off. This time, though, we outsmarted it. I would be in California with a rental car, ready to come pick up Patti if need be. At the last minute, Karen agreed to rent a car, too, and so we were doubly covered.
  Patti (and Karen, who’d flown in from Florida the day before) were slated to chaperone five 8th grade classes on a school trip, which kept them busy and wore them out the day before the chat. The three of us had hoped to meet up in Ventura Friday afternoon. Their delayed departure and the famous LA freeway traffic kept them from getting to Ventura until late Friday night. Tired but exhilarated, they arrived at the doorstep of our hotel room about 10:30. Clever women that they are, they came loaded down with snacks and the three of us stayed up chatting away until the wee hours.
I was the first to wake Saturday morning. After all, I’d had the luxury of relaxing all day the day before. We had all day to get to Ojai -–we were to arrive at the Brown home mid-afternoon. But we’d decided the night before to spend some time roaming around Ojai. It was the weekend of their annual jazz festival, and besides, Ojai is a well-known artists’ community. We knew there’d be plenty to see and do until the appointed hour.
If you ever make it to Ojai, we all heartily recommend Bart’s Books, a used bookstore unlike any other. Only in a laid-back place like Ojai will you find a bookstore that keeps a fair amount of its inventory on bookshelves on the outside of the store, and trusts customers to drop the price of a book into an honor box. But do try to go when the place is open. You’ll be treated to a selection of used books available in only the best used bookstores in the country. And most of it in the open air courtyard surrounding Bart’s. Ah, the wonders of California.
The meal we’d made out of the chips and salsa the night before was running thin, so it was off to a lovely little Italian diner on the outskirts of town for some pizza. Surprisingly, I found I could eat heartily, despite the growing colony of butterflies in my stomach. It took a major effort to keep from checking my watch every few minutes. But finally, it was time to go.
We got out of the car, opened the gate to the drive, and walked in. The lush vegetation kept the house hidden from view, and part of me was wondering if we had the right place. That is, until I heard an unmistakable voice call out, "You’re on time!" It was Robert.

I suppose it’s fair that anyone who cares enough to read this would ask, "What is Robert like?" I wish there was an easy answer. Gracious? Certainly. Charming? Always. Handsome? Do you really need to ask? But if you were to ask me if he is like Jason, I’d have to say, "No." He’s, well, he’s more "human."
Robert gave us a quick tour of their new home. It’s a lovely place in a lovely setting. Even though they’ve moved to a different house, you can read the description Karen gave of their last home and it would still apply. The silky terrier Expresso and the aging Russian Blue kitty Agrigia are still in residence. Books, mementos and antiques still fill the place. Elisse arrived home just long enough to say hello, and then left again on some errands. It was Robert who showed us around the house and gardens, and took us to the special studio they had built for Elisse ¾ a perfect artist’s space with ample northern light.
It was a lucky decision to arrive two hours before the chat. As it was, we would need every bit of that time to get hooked up to the internet, and herein lies the last, and greatest of our obstacles to the chat. It is no exaggeration that even five minutes before the appointed time we were all still struggling to make this work. If I ever win the lottery, I’m buying Patti a laptop. She had to disassemble her entire PC and lug it across half of southern California, then reassemble it on Robert’s front porch. Robert had graciously set up everything for us to be out on the porch ¾ and who could blame him? It was a perfect afternoon. Unfortunately, not being familiar with such things, none of us took into account how difficult the screen would be to see with sunlight streaming in. But the porch still offered the best location, so who were we to argue? We set about connecting the computer. Robert was terrific as he patiently helped us with wires and outlets and phone jacks and such. When it came time to find an access number, we hit a major roadblock. We couldn’t find a local number to save our souls. All these Ventura County prefixes - but how were we to know which were local to Ojai? The phone book was no help
"LaDene, call the operator and ask her which prefixes are local," Robert asked me. Of course, I complied. Or tried. The local Pacific Bell operator didn't want to cooperate. "Tell me a prefix and I'll tell you if it's local," was her final answer. Her ONLY answer. Silly woman. She didn't know with whom she was dealing. I walked over to Robert and handed him the phone. "I think this requires a more masterful approach," I told him. He may not be Jason Bolt, but that doesn't mean he can't pull from that bag of tricks when the occasion calls for it. And he did. In no time, he had that operator doing exactly what he calmly, authoritatively requested. "LaDene, write these numbers down as I say them." For the next several minutes, I played scribe as Robert dictated telephone prefixes to me. When it was over, Robert hung up the phone and turned to me. "Did you get those?" "Yes," I told him, and couldn't resist adding. "Robert, it's a cliché, but in this case, very true. You have such a wonderful voice, you really can read the phone book and make it sound interesting." Unfortunately, while his reading of local prefixes was fascinating, we were still stymied. Our beloved AOL had no access number for any of them. With literally only minutes to go until the chat, Robert generously allowed us to dial up using Patti's local access number - which meant no doubt a hefty toll charge for the Browns. Finally, Patti was able to manage a connection, and it was show time.

Karen and Robert

If you were lucky enough to be in the chats, I won’t bore you with reiterating that part of the story. If you weren’t in the chats, I hope you’ve taken the time to read them ¾ they’re chock full of fun stuff. So instead, let me share my admiration for Patti through all of this. I’ve spent a lot of my early wage-earning years at a keyboard, and it can be grueling work when done non-stop like this was. Add to that the afternoon heat, and the light which made it virtually impossible for Patti (let alone Robert) to read the screen, and that Patti had to field the questions and type the answers and try to keep up with the hectic pace ¾ and well, let’s just say it was a real work-out for her. So, though I’ve told her repeatedly in person, let me just take this spot on the internet to immortalize this sentiment. "Thank you, Patti! You’re a trouper!"

Robert and Patti

Elisse had returned sometime during the chat, and was quietly working in the kitchen. After the chat was over, we disassembled the computer one more time, and finally had a chance to visit. Elisse is terrific, and I really wish I’d had more of a chance to get to know her, too. Together the Browns are outstanding hosts. All too soon it was time to climb back in the car and head down the road to Ventura. And the next day, the flight home.
Finally, let me thank Patti yet again for a wonderful, memorable weekend, and the chance to finally spend some time together. Thanks also to Karen, who was kind enough to share Patti, and a part of her vacation, with me. Extra special thanks go to Robert, of course, and perhaps most of all Elisse, for being so very warm and welcoming to the newcomer. It’s particularly gratifying to know that sometimes, good people like these do get to enjoy the rich lives they deserve.