Disclaimer: The usual. I don't own any of the characters of The Lost World, etc.

Just another episode in the continuing adventures of everyone’s favorite beetle.  This particular adventure is being submitted as part of the Still Seeking Summerlee Event.  Special thanks to Monica, Larry, and Mary for hosting this event. 

My apologies to the character, Arthur Summerlee and to Michael Sinelnikoff, the wonderful actor who made this character come to life.

Scene:  Set of the daytime television game show, To Tell the Truth.

The voice of the off-screen announcer is heard:   “Contestant Number One, what is your name please?”

The camera focuses on Contestant Number One (a beetle):  “My name is Arthur Summerlee.”

The voice of the off-screen announcer is heard again:  “Contestant Number Two, what is your name please? 

The camera focuses on Contestant Number Two (an elderly slightly balding man with a gray beard and mustache who responds in a slightly imperious British accent): “ My name is Professor Arthur Summerlee.”

The voice of the off-screen announcers is heard one more time:  “Contestant Number Three, what is your name please?”

The camera focuses on Contestant Number Three (another beetle):  “Ahhh!  Uhmm!  Ahhh!” 

Just then Contestant Number One interjects:  “Oh brother!  Can’t you even remember one simple line?  Arthur Summerlee.  (slowly and enunciating each syllable as if he were speaking to a child) Your name is Arthur Summerlee.”

Contestant Number Three:  “That’s it.  My name is Arthur Summerlee.”

(Laughter is heard from the audience in the background).  The camera quickly shifts over to the show’s host, Dirk Fluming.  

Dirk Fluming:  (laughing slightly himself) “Thank you Contestants.   Welcome to “To Tell the Truth”.  The show where we ask our panel of distinguished judges to discover who is the real person and who among our panel of contestants are actually imposters.  Today our panel will be trying to decide who is the real Arthur Summerlee.  To help our panel make their decision let’s first find out more about Arthur Summerlee.   

(Dirk picks up a piece of paper.)  He continues with his introductory remarks:  “The panel can follow along as I read from Mr. Summerlee’s biography”:

I, Arthur Summerlee, am a distinguished scientist and a somewhat reluctant explorer.  As a member of the London Zoological Society, I was charged with the task of traveling with the so-called  “Challenger Expedition” for the purpose of providing scientific authenticity to the Expedition.  In other words it was my job to debunk the so-called scientific theories of George Edward Challenger.  A man some have called a Visionary and others have called “slightly coddled”  (if you know what I mean). 

Professor Challenger had shocked the entire scientific community with his preposterous claims of the existence of a prehistoric world in the remote jungles of South America. A world that he claimed was filled with dinosaurs and other long extinct species.  It was a theory that rested upon no scientific data whatsoever but rather the delusional ramblings in a journal of another so-called scientific genius named Maplewhite and a cracked photographic plate purporting to depict a living pterodactyl in flight.

It was completely preposterous.

Determined to prove George Edward Challenger wrong, once and for all, I agreed to join his so-called Expedition.  To my complete and utter surprise and to my utmost joy, what we discovered was far more than what even Professor Challenger had envisioned.  It was in all respects truly, “The Lost World”.

We discovered a world full of lost civilizations, prehistoric animals, and strange phenomenon.  It was the adventure of a lifetime . . .”

____________________

As Dirk continues reading the biography of Arthur Summerlee, a disturbance suddenly erupts at the contestant’s table.

Contestant Number Three turning to Contestant Number One suddenly shouts out:  “What do you mean?  Can’t I even remember one simple line?  You know as well as I do that I taught you everything you know about acting and then some.”

Contestant Number One (unable to bear such calumny shouts back):  “You’ve been a complete fraud your entire life.  That’s why I thought letting you onto this show would be a natural for you.  All you had to do was to pretend to be someone you’re not which is exactly what you have done all our lives.  And you have to blow your one and only line.”

Contestant Number Three (sloughs across the table top and gets right into the face of Contestant Number Two):  “You let me onto this show?  Who are you kidding?  I’m the one that agreed to appear with you.”

Contestant Number Two (in a vain hope to stop the two beetles from warring any further interjects):  “Really you two.  The way you bicker so.  One would think you were related.”

Contestant Number Three (snorting):  “Related?   Of course, we’re related.  Can’t you tell?”

Contestant Number Two (clearing his throat):  “The particular species of beetle that you are does make individual identification quite difficult.”

Contestant Number One (shuddering at these words):  “Well, let me make it easy for you.  I’m Arthur the Beetle.”

Contestant Number Three (laughing derisively):  “Yeah, yeah.  I thought you were supposed to be Arthur Summerlee.  Can’t you even remember one simple line?”

Contestant Number One:  “ I didn’t come here to be insulted.”  He turns and calls,  “Bob we’re leaving.”

Stepping from just out of camera range, Bob Trogman, Personal Assistant to Arthur the Beetle, hurries over to the Contestant Table.

A gasp is heard from Contestant Number Two:  “Good heavens, where’s my rifle?  We’re being attacked by a Tr.. .”

Contestant Number One:  “Shhhh!  Don’t say it!  Bob is quite sensitive about his appearance.  He is still undergoing his wax treatments.” 

Contestant Number Two (recovering quickly):  “Oh sorry old boy.  I didn’t mean to offend anyone.  He holds his hand out to Bob.  Professor Arthur Summerlee at your service.”

Bob responds with a warm handshake and a bright smile.

Contestant Number Three:  “Oh, brother.  This guy really thinks he’s Arthur Summerlee.”

Meanwhile, Dirk Fluming is frantically trying to get the cameraman’s attention to pull back away from the contestant’s table as the show continues to degenerate into a free for all. The cameraman with aspirations of filming the next new reality series continues focusing on the contestants’ table.

Contestant Number Two:  “Well, of course, I’m Arthur Summerlee.  Who else would I be?”

Contestant Number One:  “Yes, of course, he’s Arthur Summerlee.  Did you think anyone was going to believe that you, a washed upped, unemployed, has been beetle . . .”

Just then one of the judges on the panel (expensively dressed but with really bad hair) leans over and speaks into the microphone:  “You’re all fired.”

Dirk Fluming, completely confused now, turns toward the judge’s panel and mouths a silent, “What are you doing?”

The Judge:  “You’re all fired except the big, hairy guy.  You’ve got a real presence about you.  How would you like a job?”

A voice growing louder and louder suddenly fills his ears. 

“Bob. Bob. Wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”   

Bob Trogman sits slowly up in bed.  He looks across the room and sees Arthur the Beetle hanging out over the top of his specially handcrafted Murano glass jar.

Arthur the Beetle:  “I told you not to finish eating those goat cheese and hibiscus flower canapés.” (Bob hangs his head sheepishly.)

Arthur the Beetle: “Now go have some of that chamomile tea that CMS sent you.”  (A faint blush crosses over Bob’s features at the mention of CMS.)

Arthur the Beetle:  “And stop making so much noise.  I need my sleep. I have a taping tomorrow.”