S

Search Engine -

Yahoo, Google, MSN, Ask Jeeves, Copernic.  There

are a bunch of them.  These are the places you can go

and try to find out what you want to know on the Internet. 

Share -

to make files, folders, printers available to different

machines or people that are connected by a network.

Or, what you wish you owned a lot of in Microsoft.

Shell -

They sound like they might by petrified skins for

oysters, clams, and other assorted mollusks. And,

they may well be but, in the case of the computer

program it's a whole different story. The shell is

what you use to make the program do what it does.

In short, it is the user interface provided by the

programmers in order to make the program easier

for us to use.  For instance, let's say the geeky guy

who wrote that thing created it as "command driven."

Can you imagine how tough it would be if, every

time you wanted do something in the program, you

had to bring up a command prompt and type in

the proper command with absolutely no typos

allowed? We'd probably stop using computers. 

So what happens? These kind, thoughtful, and

considerate programming folk create an interpreter

which is "Menu Driven" meaning it offers you a

menu of options relating to the operations you

wish to perform, you click on your choice, and

your choice is invisibly interpreted as a command

prompt and the appropriate action is performed.

Except possibly in the case of a newly released

version of Windrows.  In short

(I say it, I just don't do it) a shell is the operating

interface between you and all the code which

makes up an operating system, application, or

other program.

Shortcut –

"A more direct route than the normal one" Or an icon

with a little arrow in the lower right hand corner which

saves you the effort of hitting

<Start> <Programs> <Games> <Minesweeper>

Shortcut Menu – 

rightclick on anything on your computer and if a

little menu pops out, that's a shortcut menu.

SIG – 

Special Interest Group. It’s usually a group of people

with a common interest who meet in a chat room and

share information concerning that interest. Sometimes

it's just used as a shortened name for the automatically generated text that appears at the end of someone's email message, as in "See my sig".  Of course, it is also a nickname for Sigmund.

Skin  - 

In the case of human beings and other living creatures,

a skin is what is on the outside that holds the insides

in. In the case of the fairer sex they are what makes

them so attractive to all us beer guzzling couch potatoes. 

Not true however in the case of inanimate objects

other that sports watching sofa-spuds.  

Take the case of the lowly computer graphic used

to create the impression of a solid object. For

instance, the Music Match Jukebox has many

different guises. Actually, the juke box is identical in

all cases, only the outside appearance, "skin" has

been changed. Man, don't you wish we could do that? Consider the possibilities.  The only difference

is in the skins and there are many more available.

You can change them with a click of the mouse.

SMART -

How about Self Monitoring And Reporting Technology? 

If you have an EIDE drive with the ATA-3 spec and

you have S.M.A.R.T enabled in your BIOS, it will

just sit there monitoring the drive until something

(old age or a defect) starts to degrade the performance

of the drive and S.M.A.R.T. will pop up and say,

“Hey buddy, it’s time to back up everything you

should have already been backing up and think

about buying a replacement drive.”  Try it, you

might not like its’ message but you’ll appreciate

the trouble it saves you.

SMS -

(Storage Management System) Software used to

routinely back up and archive files.
SMS –

(Systems Management System) software from

Microsoft that runs on Windows NT Server used

to distribute software, monitor and analyze network

usage and perform various network administration

tasks It works with a Microsoft SQL Server

database. Did you notice the similarity in the

acronym for Storage Management System?

They do things like that.

SOHO –

Small Office Home Office - Pretty self explanatory.

A small desk, table, or shelf in the corner of the

bedroom complete with a computer, telephone, a

selection of writing instruments and a 2 drawer 

filing cabinet for which you declare a deduction

equivalent to your mortgage payment on your

IRS forms. 

Specified File -

"Specified file" really isn't a word, it is a two-word

phrase which needs to be torn apart to be defined. 

You obviously know what a file is or you would be

totally lost in the computer world so let's say you

wrote an e-mail to me and said, "Skipper, in my

quantum directory I found a file named

"crandlitz.dop" can you tell me what it is? 

You have just specified, to me, a file named

"crandlitz.dop".  And I write back to you and say,

"I haven't the foggiest idea what the specified file

is, never heard of it before, probably never will

again, 'dop' files are not one of my specialties." 

In short, any file which you, I, anyone else,

Bill Gates, or an application calls to your attention

for any purpose whatever is a "specified file"

enjoying its brief fifteen minutes of fame. 

I stole this from a dictionary:  

Specify -

to name or state explicitly or in detail This too:

Spreadsheet – 

Well now, it’s a bunch. A spreadsheet is a little like a

computerized workbook into which you enter all kinds

of stats that, in the end and unless you have goofed,

will add up the hours, multiply them by the wage,

deduct the taxes and even write the paychecks.

A little like a very efficient book keeper, but not

nearly so much fun at office Christmas parties.

Spyware -

007 it ain’t.  This is some sneaky stuff that usually rides

in on an internet free download, sneaks into your

cookie jar and sits there quietly sending info about

your internet grazing habits back to its Website which

uses it to create marketing profiles it sells to other

web sites, mailing lists and all that good stuff. 

SQL -

Structured Query Language It’s the language used to

process data in a relational database. IBM developed

it for it’s mainframe computers. It really isn’t a very

exciting subject.

STAT –

An abbreviation for statistic, status, a photostat, and

the Latin “Statim” meaning “At Once.”  Some people

even use it to refer to the stationary they create in

email programs like Outlook Express. 

Pretty darned versatile for a four letter word.

Static IP – 

A permanent Internet Protocol usually assigned to routers

and servers in a network. The clients usually have dynamic IPs from a DHCP server each time they come on line.

Stationary –  

Fixed in one place, stationary stuff stands still.

Stationery – 

Writing materials, paper, envelopes, and the like,

unless you happen to be writing on a computer,

then the stationery is what the printer prints on.

If you use Outlook for your e-mail editor there

are several built in stationery styles which may

be used to enhance the appearance of your

correspondence.  Of course, most stationery

freaks prefer Outlook Express because it even

lets you add sounds to create "stats" that are

about 800mb and clog up everybody's email servers.

Subset – 

I’m not even gonna mess with this one, here it is.

A group of commands or functions that do not

include all the capabilities of the original specification

 for executing an entire application.

Sybase SQL Anywhere – 

Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

System Tray –

That little rectangular space in the bottom right hand

corner of your screen that has the clock and way too

many icons in it.

T Taskbar – it’s right next to the START button, an oblong box with colorful icons in it. If you click on one of them something usually happens. Makes you feel real good if it’s what you wanted. Template – a design (pattern) for a document for word processors, data bases, spreadsheets. The works all done for you, just click on them and you’re in business. Don’t believe me? Ask Bill. Timers – Egg, Lap, Interval there are all kinds, in a computer they control interrupt calls and a lot of other stuff I don’t know much about. Toolbar –  That bar, or those bars, at the top and bottom, sometimes on the sides of your desktop, which permit you to click on an icon and find what you’re looking for, mostly. Sometimes not. Traceroute – Did you ever wonder when you press the “Send” key, where your message goes and how it gets there? That’s a job for “Traceroute” an internet utility which will trace the route of a message from your computer to your remote host and display every repeater encountered along the way.  Windows comes with its own route tracing utility called “Tracert.exe” which you can use from the command line. Trojan –  A Trojan is a Trojan, except in this discussion we are referring to a “Trojan Horse.”  It is usually innocent looking software which sneaks in escorted by other software on a contaminated disk or with an  internet download. It is a little like a virus except it doesn’t go to your address book and send itself to everyone you know. It just sits there messing up your computer or opening up a “back door” so that some foul person with mischief in his heart can come in and take control of your computer for nefarious purposes. What a dastardly deed. Only a dirty dastard would do a thing like that.    Trolls - See Hackers, Crackers and Trolls TWAIN – “Technology Without An Interesting Name” (Hal) and when he told me that I thought he was kidding. NOT!  It is the interface which allows graphics apps to run image-capturing devices and  scanners. In short, if your application don’t catch the twain you are surely gonna miss the picture show.  (That’s terrible but I’ll leave it in just to see if you’re paying attention.) TweakUI - A great little piece of software written by a bunch of the backroom boys at Microsoft, distributed but not supported by Microsoft. I don’t know know why, it is probably one of the least buggy pieces of software to come out of Redmond, WA. It does all kinds of things that all Windows versions should do but don’t.

U UNC – Universal Naming Convention… a standard for identifying resources in a network. All that to say it’s what dictates the use of those // in a url, or the \ in a path like C:\Windows\Desktop\BSOD Universal Serial Bus -  UNIVERSAL:  1 : including or covering all or a whole collectively or distributively without limit or exception 2 a : present or occurring everywhere b : existent or operative everywhere or under all conditions <universal cultural patterns> 3 a : embracing a major part or the greatest portion (as of mankind) <a universal state> <universal practices> b : comprehensively broad and versatile <a universal genius> 4 a : affirming or denying something of all members of a class or of all values of a variable b : denoting every member of a class <a universal term> 5 : adapted or adjustable to meet varied requirements (as of use, shape, or size) <a universal gear cutter> SERIAL: 1 : of, relating to, consisting of, or arranged in a series , rank, or row <serial order> 2 : appearing in successive parts or numbers <a serial story> 3 : belonging to a series maturing periodically rather than on a single date <serial bonds> BUS:  1 a : a large motor vehicle designed to carry passengers usually along a fixed route according to a schedule b : AUTOMOBILE 2 : a small hand truck 3 a : BUS BAR b : a set of parallel conductors in a computer system that forms a main transmission path  Quite obviously when broken down into it most simple components, a Universal Serial Bus is large Intercontinental mode of transportation consisting of a small hand truck utilizing parallel rows of seating for the asses of the masses and a crew consisting of one operator and two conductors.  Urban legends – Do you have a twenty-two-foot boa constrictor living in your drain pipe? Myths concerning your boa constrictor and alligators in the sewer systems fall in the “urban legend” category and were originally the pride and joy of the supermarket tabloids. Today they are so common on the internet that special interest groups, see SIG, devote many internet sites to them. URL – I was going to say something weird like "Under-appreciated Romantic Lover" but I won't do that. I don't know you well enough to be that presumptuous and who knows, perhaps you could be the one who would be appreciative. Probably not.  So, to tell it like it is, URL in this wonderful world of technology, is an acronym for Uniform Resource Locator. It's the web address of any website. USB - see Universal Serial Bus. User Preferences –  Take you pick.

V VBA – Visual Basic for Applications. If you’re satisfied with that, great! If not, it’s a subset of Visual Basic that gives programmers a common language for customizing M$ Applications. It supports COM based programs.  VBScript – VBScript talks to host applications using Windows  Script. With Windows Script, browsers and other host applications do not require special integration code for each scripting component. Windows Script enables a host to compile scripts, obtain and call entry points, and manage the namespace available to the developer. With Windows Script, language vendors can create standard language run times for scripting. Microsoft will provide run-time support for VBScript. Microsoft is working with various Internet groups to define the Windows Script standard so that scripting engines can be interchangeable. Windows Script is used in Microsoft® Internet Explorer and in Microsoft® Internet Information Service. VCD Disk - A neat way to prove you don’t need DVD to see a movie on your computer it’s a disk format jointly developed by some of the biggies, Matsushita, Philips, Sony and JVC, it creates a Video CD that holds 74 minutes of VHS-quality video and CD-quality sound in the MPEG format. Virii –  It’s what the cognoscenti call two or more viruses. I’d call them multiple pains in the rear. Virus –   A computer Virus is software. Someone has to write it and it is never written for the good of mankind. Or womankind either for that matter. Once a virus is written, it is attached to an executable program which is installed on the computer. Once the program is executed the virus is activated and proceeds to do its destructive duty. There are more types of viruses than you can shake a stick at, and shaking a stick at one won’t do any good anyway. Get the best Antivirus Program you can find, install it,  and update it very very frequently. Visual Basic code – I didn’t really want to go here. Sun Microsystems  wrote JAVA, they hate M$, M$ hates Sun so they wrote Visual Basic in hopes of putting Sun out of business. VB code is a kinda drag an drop programming language. VPN – Virtual Private Network. A private network configured to operate within a public network. In the process it uses good old PPTP confusing me no end. VSAT – Very Small Aperture Satellite Terminal. And here all the time I thought it was some kind of test you took to get into an orbital college.  It is actually a small earth station for satellite transmissions which handles up to 56 Kbits/sec of digital transmission. Wow!

W W3C – (www.w3.org) The World Wide Web Consortium. The geeks who established the internet standards for the Worldwide Web. They met in 1994 and reached an agreement. Washington should take lessons. Wallpaper - Wallpaper is a photograph, painting, document or whatever, which you choose to have on your screen (desktop) constantly to the point of monotony. It can be almost any graphic you choose. For instance, the next time you see a beautiful photograph when you are surfing the net, right click on it. In the drop down menu you'll see "save as wallpaper" Click on it and stand back. If you want to get rid of it right click in the middle of your screen, click on "properties" and remove it. Webmaster - the person who creates and watches over websites.   Personally, I'm a web "slave". WinModem  - A Host Based Modem - This is, for  all intents and purposes, a parasitic modem. It uses the computers processor to do its work for it in return for a lesser price. Now there is even a software modem that works without a physical device of anykind. All of the functions are handled by the computer’s own processor. How ‘bout that? Windows Taskbar – it’s right next to the START button, an oblong box with colorful icons in it. If you click on one of them something usually happens. Makes you feel real good if it’s what you wanted. WORM – Aha! Gotcha! Bet you thought “worm” was a word didn’t you. Not in the world of technology it isn’t. It is another Acronym. It stands for “Write Once Read Many” and is a technology developed for writing to an optical disk. Worm – Actually “worm” is a word too. A dirty word in computerland at least. A worm is a piece of very destructive software that will replicate itself throughout your computer to the point of destroying your memory, wrecking your hard drive and rendering your computer non-functional. Programmers who write worms should have to eat them. WPA – Windows Product Activation (Microshaft Personified) The most aggravating, thought provoking, rabble rousing, innovation to come out of Redmond Washington yet. Its Uncle Willie’s way of permitting you to pay an exorbitant price for the privilege of using software you thought you were buying, which is still in its beta stage,   which you agree he may yank out from under you if you foul up. It is the epitome of the old “If you don’t play by my rules I’ll take my ball and go home. But, first you have to pay me for the ball.” And the glove, and the bat, and the bases, and etc., etc. WSH – Windows Script Host -Whaddayasay, let’s slip into this one from the back door by way of brother Peter Norton? I know there has to be a goodly bunch of you who use Norton’s Utilities to tidy up your puter’s innards.  A simple click on something like Norton’s WinDoctor runs a search for all kinds of chaos and corruption, shows you all those things you’ve managed to mess up, and offers ways to correct them.  It never fails to amaze me when I discover four hundred and leventy seven things wrong with “ActiveX.”  They are always the first one listed. They contain all those errors, I don’t know what they are, how they got there, what they’re for, and most assuredly, not what corrupted them. Brother Peter always manages to clean them up though.  Personally I don’t even know what ActiveX is but Uncle Billy does. That’s why, in his infinite wisdom he (I wonder how many “theys” it takes to make one “He”?) created a thing called “Windows Script Host”, a facility which executes ActiveX scripting languages. Mind you, that doesn’t mean that WSH shoots them down like dogs, though from the number of warnings I receive in Outlook about messages containing dangerous scripts, it probably should. Nope, what it does is to allow those scripts created in various script languages to be run from your desktop using either a “Command Line” or Windows own program WSCRIPT.EXE. created just for that purpose.  What is a Script? Personally I always thought that was something you wrote with a ball point when you weren’t printing. NOT!  A “script” is a little program, a miniature application if you will, which has the ability to perform a somewhat complex task a little quicker and with a little more class than the average batch file. In a very simple form, if you ever created a macro to accomplish a multi-key keyboard task, you have created a script.  Scripts are written with “scripting languages” and I’m not even going to attempt to explain them. To do that you have to be computer multi-lingual and I’m not even lingual. So here, with definitions stolen directly from “Uncle Billy’s Billion Dollar Bread Basket,” that’s Windows I’m talking about, are MS’s descriptions of two of their Scripting Languages. VBScript and JScript.  Read on, they may be a little boring but what the heck, a lot of Microshaft’s material is.  And if you want the FULL scoop on WSH, let Greg Chapman teach you.

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