that smile of yours. Remember when the doctors and residents came in for their morning rounds really early and I must’ve gotten hot during the night and when they woke me, I sat up, you looked at me and started laughing hysterically. I had no shirt on. There were my boobies out for all the doctors to see. You never let me live that one down. Remember when we made that jello mold and you were so excited to see it that we decided to unveil it when to visiting nurse was there. When I pulled the mold off, it didn’t turn out so well, and you said, “What the hell is that” right in front of the nurse. I remember when Brittany and I would always sing in the car and you’d yell at us saying we were ruining the song, especially when it was your fave, get the party started by pink. I remember when you had to sleep with me in bed because of your IV’s and feeding tube and we’d lay in bed for hours at night laughing and reading books, telling stories and being silly. We’d say every word starting with W instead of the real letter it should start with and you were so good at it. I always screwed up first. You always beat me at Uno also even at the hospital after hours of playing. I remember when I found a bunch of lollipops under your pillow when you were sleeping in your own room and you said the tooth fairy put them there. You never lost any teeth though and I definitely would’ve known if the tooth fairy stopped by because it was just me and you living alone. I also remember finding all your Flintstone vitamins by your bed because you’d spit them out and hide them. I remember how much you loved rides and we practically lived at grandma and pappy Bakers’ condo in ocean city New Jersey for a while because it was only an hour from your hospital. We’d have to go get a platelet transfusion from the beach and come back just to get on rides so there would be no spontaneous bleeds in your brain from the g force or centrifugal force. You weren’t worried. The faster, the better. Kathy and I would have to take turns because we’d get so nauseas going from tilt a whirl to another spinning ride to another, one right after the other. It was great when Brittany and Taylor were there to get on those rides with you and we didn’t have too. I remember mamam and me putting those 3 inch platform Josie and the pussycat purple leopard print heels on you and putting a ponytail up on the top of your head so they’d let you on the big rides because you were never tall enough from all the chemo. The heels works. :) You loved anything, fast and exciting, no fear. I don’t know where you got that from. You were such a little spunky girl, letting everyone know exactly how you felt. I remember when you came out of surgery and the nurses were scrambling around you to try to get all your monitors hooked up in the recovery room and you looked at one nurse and said, “ewww, your breath stinks!” I laughed so hard because it was true. She just ate a bag of Doritos. Your spunk and honesty kept you going, beating the odds for so many years. I wasn’t going to stop that. We made every day and everything fun, no matter how bad things were. One year it didn’t snow yet and you were about to go into the hospital to have your big tumor resection surgery. Uncle Doug worked at ski roundtop and filled his truck with man made snow and built a snowman in the front yard. When you got home and saw it, your mouth dropped, you were speechless. When you finally said something, it was, “God brought me snow and no one else.” I didn’t have the hearty to tell you it was actually uncle Doug at the time.

Gosh I could go on forever with memories but you know them all and you know how much I miss you. I remember before bed, you’d tell me you would miss me in your sleep even though we were in the same bed and so I’d hold your hand all night.

surrounded by chocolate and you wanted to be surrounded by Dippin Dots (after all you wanted to move to the beach and work at Dippen Dots with Taylor when you grew up.) I hope you have all the Dippen Dots imaginable now .. and maybe a little chocolate every now and then for mommy. The day you went to Heaven was the first day I ever told you it was ok. I held you in my lap on our living room floor, just me and you and reminded you of how wonderful Heaven was. I promised you that I’d be ok and told you that you could go. That’s when you passed into Heaven. Now you’re my Angel. I am so lucky to be a mommy of my very own Angel in Heaven. Thanks for sending me George, I needed him. We’re a match made in Heaven, no doubt. There are so many milestones I will miss but we had so many wonderful memories while you were here. Thank God for letting me have you, even if it was for such a short time. The pain of missing you is so worth the time I spent with you, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  If life is really about the journey, not the destination. Then we had one hell of a journey, never taking one minute for granted.  Cierra baby, I miss you so much but I know you’re free of pain and for that I am thankful.

Happy Birthday Princess

I love you so much I can’t even say

 I love you more and more each day.

I love you infinity.

XOXO,

Mommy