John has accomplished something today that leaves him absolutely full of himself: he's riding his bike without training wheels. Now, the lady across the street says both of her boys did that at five, but I was 6 or 7 and Michael says he was 8. So we're impressed, anyway. And John sure is.

Little League photos were taken today. You'll all get them. John is first baseman because he can catch. He's also the best hitter on the team, bar none including the kids who played last year, though there are one or two who challenge him. Unfortunately, he's getting a very big ego about this, and doesn't realize he isn't Babe Ruth in size 13 cleats.

On the intellectual side, he can read 1st-2nd grade books, including the "Beginning Readers" levels 1 & 2, and Curious George. No, he hasn't memorized them, though with the Curious George stories, he knows the plots. But generally I have to read the book to him first to orient him or he won't cooperate, though he CAN read without me. Still, we generally alternate pages, and even so, he doesn't have more than about a 45 minutes attention span, and will try to get me to do all the reading even sooner. He says he "can" read, but doesn't like to because "it's too much work". Ditto writing. He's really, really lazy about this stuff. If the book is about war planes or missiles or dinosaurs, he's more likely to comply. Somehow "Fuzzy" is too hard, but "intercontinental" isn't if it's near a picture of an instrument of destruction.

The encouraging sign? He's started reading everything he runs across. He'll ask us, "What does that bottle say? Does it say catsup?" knowing that it's a catsup bottle. We'll say, "That's part of what it says. Read it. What else does it say?" And he will. Slowly. Heinz. Five seven vah-ry-ah-tees, varieties! Toe-may-toe... And he's learned that reading has a purpose: he likes mild salsa but not medium or hot. We haven't told him he can tell which is which by the number of peppers on the lid. But when he asked "Is this the mild salsa?" instead of telling him, we've said "Well, John, what does it say?" And within thirty seconds, he's read the lid and determined that it's the medium salsa and he wants the other one.

I'm trying to get him to rely on reading instead of pictures in order to get what he wants. His toys are in bins with the contents clearly labelled. When he wants a toy, he asks me for it, and I won't give it to him until he tells me which bin it's in. He has to read that the bin says "cars" or "horses" or "puzzles" or "felt".

He'll bring me a tape and ask me if "that's the one with the baseball song" (Take Me Out to the Ballgame)? And I'll say, "Gee, I don't know, John, what's the song called?" "I don't know." "Then let's read the song titles on the tape and see if any of them is about baseball." Groan. "I don't WANT to read the whole label, I just want to listen to the baseball song!" "Well, John, I don't know how else to find it." "YOU read it." "Hey, John, I'm not the one who wants to listen to the song, but I'll help you." And he reads. He's annoyed with me for "changing the rules", but he's also motivated enough to get what he wants that he'll do it.

What's funny is that Graham has (by comparison) rather poorer gross motor skills. They're "normal" for his age, but in no way advanced, unlike John's at the same age. Graham has always fallen into the 35th-50th percentiles on such things, even though he's in the 116th percentile for size (I think it's time for dance clases -- or aikido!). He can hop on two feet, but only 6-7 times on one foot. He "throws" a ball, but not neatly enough to tell where it was aimed. His fine motor skills aren't great, either. John colors neatly between the lines, and colored mostly between the lines at Graham's age. Graham lacks the manual dexterity & thus scribbles. So Graham can't write; he can't control a crayon or pencil enough. We're working on tracing curves and lines and letters.

On the other hand, he's learned nearly everything I've taught John, and his vocabulary is as good or better than John's. His sentences are more complex. He rhymes all the time, often with appropriate scansion, though usually silly meaningless stuff. He often speaks in paragraphs, not sentences, though you may have to ask him to repeat the paragraph because he still baby talks.

But when I'm reading with John and John has trouble with a word, Graham will usually sound it out sub voce and fill it in for him while I'm trying to help John sound it out. John gets furious: "Graham, this is MY book! You go read your OWN book!" but Graham just giggles and asks me "is that right, Mom? Does it say 'curious'?" And, of course, I have to admit that it does. If John and I are reading, Graham is not going to miss out on a story (he gets 2-3 hours a day of being read to between Andrea, who's back at school and no longer with us, and me).

John was afraid of the loud noise made by the carwash, until fairly recently.  When he was a good bit younger he would cry.  Graham watched the carwash intently and then started in with his questions: "Does that thing push the cars around? No, I mean that little thing there. When those lights go on it gets really noisy; what's it doing? Why are the lights so noisy? What does that big thing do when it turns around? Do the lights make it go around?" etc, etc, etc.

Graham asks questions I can't answer (how far is it to space? -- I had to look that up). He sings morning to night, and while you can tell what he's singing, you get sick of the one tune. Why? Because he practices that one tune, or two bars of one tune, until he knows the tune & words. Then he goes on to the next thing. Very systematic.

I've noticed that he comes along the two days a week I'm helping in John's classroom, and while younger siblings are welcome, they usually just play with the puppets or "kitchen". I'm not sure when I started just including Graham in the activities the kindergartners & first graders are doing, but I did. He does music with us, not well, but as well as any kindergartner. He learns lyrics & tunes faster than they do, and can keep a steady beat better, though he sings off key.

When other kids had to count out 100 beans on a page with 100 squares, so did Graham. Out of habit, Jenn, the teacher, and the other parents, also include him, though again, he needs extra help with the fine motor skills thing on craft projects. Some of the kindergartners can write; some can't & dictate: Jenn makes John write, but allows Graham to dictate. When we go to the school library, Graham picks out books, too, and the librarian lets me have an extra "account" for him. He goes on field trips with us (with a minivan, I'm always hit on to drive). When Graham finally enters kindergarten -- not in this coming fall but the year after -- he's going to be very comfortable there. He's spent so much time in that classroom, and doing these activities, that he just blends in. I think he's an honorary kindergartner.

An insight into his personality: he was bored by the S.B. Mission grounds & artifacts, but fascinated by the cemetery. What was in the mausoleum? How did they put the body there? What was left of the body now? Could we open it and look? Why did bodies decay? What would happen to the bones? Why did they plant flowers next to dead people? Why didn't the statue have any clothes on? What were the headstones? What did they say? Why were they there? Why were some people buried inside the church and some outside? Why was that statue wearing funny clothes (a monk's habit)? Did the fountain run all the time, even at night? Why, why, why, why, why.... sometimes I want to tell him to stop WHYing me, but I realize that's how he's making sense of his world. Meanwhile, John was pulling on my arm saying "Let's GO, Mom! I wanna go to the PARK!".

And that's the two boys in a nutshell. Graham runs & plays too, but that's all John wants to do. He isn't particularly curious or imaginative, but boy is he strong & coordinated. Graham is Mr. Why. Graham will instigate the games of blocks or Brio, and will build whole cities. John will build a plane out of legos and that's it. IF I tell him to go play with his blocks, he says he doesn't know what to build. If I tell him "a gas station" he says he doesn't know how to build it, he'd need me to show him. Graham says "ok!" and runs off to build it and then says "Does that look like a gas station, Mom? I put these ones out here. They're the things that hold the gas."

At 41 pounds & 46 inches (John is 51.5 pounds and 49.5 inches) Graham's approximately the size of half the kindergarten class, so until you notice that his head is too big for his body, you don't realize he's 3.

John is a charming, playful, loving, and wonderful 5-year old, doing just fine in terms of learning and capable of doing better. But he's bright, no question. He scored 95th percentile on state tests at the beginning of the year.

But when psychologists talk about multiply-aged children and different intelligences, they mean Graham. Emotionally: 3. Gross motor skills: 3-4. Fine motor skills: 3. Verbal fluency: 7-8, except for speech impediment. Memory: 8-10. Understanding of numbers: 5-6. Attention span for intellectual or artistic tasks: 45-90 minutes. Attention span for physical tasks, such as physical games & sports, or gardening: 30-60 minutes. Attention span for sitting still & listening to things except stories with pictures: 15-30 minutes.  [Actually this can shrink to as little as 45 seconds if it's really something he doesn't want to listen to. His attention span for listening to instructions like "Stop bouncing on the bed and go get dressed" can seem like it is minus five seconds on some mornings. But even as he's ignoring the instructions he'll grin widely to show you that he knows he's ignoring you, and isn't it fun? (sigh)]

Two boys, full brothers, and they could hardly be more different if they tried. But they're also best buddies, and they adore each other. Aren't we blessed?