March 19, 2008

John 13:21–32

Wednesday in Holy Week

Trinity Church, Valparaiso, Indiana

In the Name of the Father, and of the + Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

I never remember a time in my life in which I did not believe in Jesus as God’s Son and my Savior. My faith might not have always been what it should be or could be. Over the years, many people have confessed to me their fear that they were losing their faith. If you or I were really losing our faith, we would not care. People who do not sincerely believe in God do not worry that they do not believe in God. People of faith, such as you and I, fret over our feeling faith-less.

Even though I cannot remember a time in my life when I did not believe in God, I have rarely felt secure in my faith. Even as a young boy, I always knew that Jesus loves me. My German grandmother made sure that I knew that Jesus died on the cross because he loves me enough to die in my place for the sins that even little boys commit. Even though I knew in my head that Jesus loved me, I still struggled as a boy with feeling guilty for all the ways in which I was not a perfect follower of Jesus. You would think that by this time in my life, I would have worked through always feeling guilty. Without giving it much thought, I can not only name my most recent sins for which I am ashamed, but I can also obsess over the sins of my youth, the sins of my teenage years, the sins of last year, and the sins of yesterday. Without even trying, I managed to sin this very day.

“Jesus was troubled in spirit, and declared, ‘Very truly, I tell you, one of you will betray me.’ The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he was speaking. One of his disciples—the one whom Jesus loved—was reclining next to him…So while reclining net to Jesus, he asked him,
‘Lord, who is it?’”

A pastor friend of mine is fond of saying, “Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.” If Jesus were to stand before us this evening and proclaim, “One of you will betray me,” I would have little need to look at you, uncertain of whom Jesus was speaking. I might not have betrayed Jesus unto death, as did Judas son of Simon Iscariot. In my self-centered preoccupations, however, consistently and persistently, I have betrayed Jesus’ love for you and Jesus’ love for me.

In this Holy Week, we walk with Jesus as he makes his way to his cross and death. Ashamed of our sin, burdened with our guilt, we follow Jesus from a safe distance, hoping that no one will notice how unworthy we are to call ourselves followers of Jesus. The Good News of the cross is, however, that Jesus goes to his cross so that you and I might never fear that our sins have separated us from the forgiveness and love of God. Jesus dies on the cross, not shouting threats of damnation and judgment, but filled with a forgiveness and love that not even death could destroy. We walk with Jesus to his cross, not as sinners filled with shame and guilt. We walk with Jesus to his cross, humbled with thanksgiving for God’s forgiveness so freely given to you and to me as a gift of love.

Amen.

John Joseph Santoro +