Children's Views

These tidbits are pearls that transcend any generational gaps.

WHAT DOES LOVE MEAN?
(by Becky Sandstrom)

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of four- to eight-year-olds, "What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.

So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." (Rebecca, age 8)

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.

You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." (Billy, age 4 (I love this one))

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." (Karl, age 5)

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." (Chrissy, age 6)

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." (Terri, age 4)

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." (Danny, age 7)

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" (Emily, age 8)

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." (Bobby, age 7 (Wow!))

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." (Nikka, age 6)

(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day." (Noelle, age 7)

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." (Tommy, age 6)

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." (Elaine, age 5)

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." (Chris, age 7)

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." (Mary Ann, age 4)

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." (Lauren, age 4)

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) (Karen, age 7)

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." (Mark, age 6)

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." (Jessica, age 8)

And the final one ― Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four-year-old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

PROVERBS FROM FIRST GRADERS

(contributed by Micheale)

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders, six-year-olds Their insight may surprise you. While reading these, keep in mind that these are first graders ― because the last one is classic!

1. Don't change horses . . . until they stop running.

2. Strike while the . . . bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before . . . Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of . . . termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but . . . how?

6. Don't bite the hand that . . . looks dirty.

7. No news . . . impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a . . . Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new . . . math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll . . . stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust . . . me.

12. The pen is mightier than the . . . pigs.

13. An idle mind is . . . the best way to relax.

14. Where there's smoke there's . . . pollution.

15. Happy the bride who . . . gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is . . . not much.

17. Two's company, three's . . . the Musketeers.

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what . . . you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and . . . you have to blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as . . . Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not . . . spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed . . . get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you . . . see in the picture on the box.

24. When the blind lead the blind . . . get out of the way.

And the WINNER and last one!

25. Better late than . . . pregnant.

Here's another good one!

Can you imagine yourself, to be the nun that is sitting at her desk grading these papers; all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure!

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED.

IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA . THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

WHAT IS BUTT DUST?

(contributed by Peggy)

What, you ask, is "Butt dust"? Read on and you'll discover the joy in it!

These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feed his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

DJ (age 4)stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, " I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt. Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The sermon I think this mom will never forget this particular Sunday sermon. "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust..." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four-year-old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

Innocence and Intuition...From the Heart