JOURNAL

By Succubus

10-3-99
This morning held no nightmares. Nightmares don't always come while you are tucked safely away in bed. Some happen before your wide-open eyes, and try as you might, you will not awaken. Some nightmares never end.

My life, it now seems, was nothing but a nightmare, one from which there was no end, no shining of the sun to cradle me back to safety. My life was in the shadows, the darkness: a creeping, painful thing that seemed indefinite, infinite. Pain was my companion, loneliness my friend.

I'd resigned myself to this existence, knowing innately that to hope for more was pointless.

But yesterday--yesterday I awoke from the stupor of my life, from the relentlessness of my nightmare. I came into the sunshine, and I have Beth to thank for it.

10-6-99

This morning I awoke with the fear that Beth had left me. I turned my head to see hers lying on the pillow beside me. I smiled at her perfect face, marveled at her loveliness, and touched her softy to prove to myself she was real. I pressed my face against her skin and smelled her, just breathing her in.

Her skin is so white, touching her I'm certain I mar it's perfection. And her eyes--blue, so blue; a blue I'd never seen before. When I look into them, my heart swells and beats faster. I ran my fingers across her skin, and euphoria filled me. I brushed at her hair until it shone as a golden halo fanned out around her head.

She is mine, truly mine, for I know I shall always have her heart. A piece of her shall live with me always. I've found a respite from the pain.

10-8-99

Yet another wonderful morning, full of light, rising to the feel of my love. Her hair wisps across my face and I can't help but touch her.

My passion rises and consumes me. I cannot get enough: ravenous, I kiss her head to toe; starving, I feast myself on her body.

My kisses turn to licks as the heat of my mouth warms her skin. I must possess her. I thrust myself inside of her, and she welcomes me silently. Each way I show my passion, she accepts, giving herself to me totally.

I heat her with my lust, and fill her with my seed. Her wide eyes stare into mine, so full of love. I touch her heart.

10-10-99

This morning brought a touch of sadness. I know that soon Beth must leave me, as all things do.

I made love to her gently; it was bittersweet, for I knew this would be the last time. I lingered over her curves, stared into her eyes, and told her time and time again how deep my love is. I told her no matter what, she was mine forever, and that her heart was safe with me always.

I feasted my eyes one last time on each inch of flesh. I saw the darkness in her eyes; I smelled the sadness on her skin. She had given all to me. I knew she did not want to go.

10-11-99

This morning is dark, and filled with pain.

Beth is gone.

The room still carries her scent; her hairs lie on her pillow. She is gone, but always a part of her will stay with me. Always will her heart be mine.

Carefully I unwrapped it from the silk in which I kept it safe. Lovingly I held it in my hands. Tears from my eyes and I hugged it close to me.

I will love her always.