Other things I have written that apply

Meditation on Today's Mass Readings (2/16/2004)

This morning, I was meditating on a theme that has helped me through a lot of turmoil in my life- that I was a woman who learned to swim through the air as a small child in a crisis- and that if I had the strength, the courage, and the imagination to learn something so impossible under those trying circumstances, then there was nothing in this world that I need fear.

And that is true.  There is nothing outside myself that I need fear- but the biggest destructive forces in my life come from within my being.  As a small child, I learned all that I needed to learn to survive- but I became addicted to the sense of security that came from the very things in life that I needed to acquire to survive- spending money, eating food- and most of all- finding people to love me.  The compulsion to indulge in the satisfaction to meet those essential things for survival became so strong in me that they surfaced within my soul as addictions- and the thing in life that I need more than anything else is to learn to live with these needs in moderation.  And I'm not alone.  The world is full of survivors, who in learning to survive in spite of all the odds against them became addicted to the things that they needed to survive itself.

When I read today's readings, it was a powerful confirmation of this important realization.  As I have followed God, one step at a time, for the last 20 years- it was those steps that I took praying for God's strength and wisdom that have borne the greatest fruit.  And lately, I have found that those steps that I walk in union, with Jesus and his mother Mary, impart the greatest strength and wisdom- the wisdom and strength of the Eucharist, the rosary, and the 12 steps.  This is a path that I long to give to the hurting people of the world- but I am still learning how to walk on this path myself.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can- and the wisdom to know the difference.  The one thing that I have learned- and a thing that I need to share with you- is that of all the things that you can change- the only person that you can change is yourself- and that somehow- even if you can't see the changes that you need to make- once you remove the splinter from your own eye- everyone around you changes in ways that are absolute miracles.  Sometimes it takes a day, sometimes it takes years- but all you can do is persevere in trying and trying again.  And the experience of many, many others has shown throughout the millennia since James first wrote this passage- enduring, finding joy in enduring because it increases faith, praying for wisdom, and then letting that strength, courage, faith and wisdom be an example for others to follow- one step at a time- no matter what-  shows that this simple formula works- and works miracles.

The Lord has shown me that the way is recovery in union with Jesus and his mother Mary- and my greatest hope is that the way that they have shown me is something that I can share with the other hurting people of the world-although I do not know when, or where, or how.  So tonight, again, I will simply ask for myself and all my brothers and sisters in Christ- the strength and wisdom that Jesus and his Blessed Mother care to give us at this time and throughout our entire lives.  I ask this in confidence and faith in the name of Jesus. Amen.