In the Ugly Duckling, there are 3 kinds of water fowl: ducks, geese, and swans.  The ducks lived on the farm were small and bitterly rejected the Ugly Duckling.  There have been times in my life that I can identify with that feeling.  The geese lived in the wild and were in continuous danger of death.  The swans were like geese with a long graceful neck.  They lived in the park were pampered and adored by the people.

 

I think that everyone can be a swan, if they practice the discipline of self-esteem.  Those people who know their own value, who know their place in the world and who are not afraid to be the person that God intended them to be are the swans.  They can often be celebrities because celebrities often give us hope that we can be like them- as we can.  They also can be corporate executives, authors, teachers, lawyers, doctors, and university professors.  They can be little people who do great things in little ways- like Mother Teresa.  Those people who carry a lot of weight, but don't have the courage to stick their neck out are the geese.  The problem with not sticking your neck out and not taking chances, is that you place yourself in constant danger.  They often have the same roles as the swans (thus they invited the ugly duckling to become one of them), but they don't have a true discipline of self-esteem because they try to flag up their failing self-esteem by thinking that they are better than other people.  Criminals (both the kind that we can see and those we cannot see such as those who make money by letting others suffer and even die) are geese.  There were studies that said that those with the highest sense of self-esteem were murderers in jail.  To me, self-esteem without great love for your fellow man is not self-estem at all.

 

There was a day when I was a swan- despite all that I had suffered and great things happened to me.  Then there came a day when I allowed my suffering to snuff out my being and I forgot that I was a swan.  Now that I can remember with joy, the times that I was in company with the swans, those encounters can be part of my story and part of the light leading me to my destiny. 

 

Here are some incredibly unbelievable things that have happened to me:

 

1) In college, I was one of the first female cadets in the Air Force ROTC- not the first batch (which would have got me on the national news)- but the first batch of cadets after the pilot program went nationwide.  At an Arnold Air Society convention, I was assigned to the protocol team.  After picking up the commanders of SAC and TAC and their wives, they did the very unusual step of asking me and my driver to have drinks with them at the club.  They wanted to know more about me.

 

2) At the same convention, my team picked up General Jimmy Dolittle, the only Air Force general to get three stars.  He had been a WWI flying ace, a general in WWII, and was now the CEO of an aircraft industry company.  He made a special request that my team be assigned to him for the rest of the convention.  He did many things to show me that he was impressed with me as a person.  As he was leaving, he kissed me on the cheek and told me that when a 3-star general kisses a cadet, she doesn't have to salute.

 

3) After the convention, some reporters from Coronet magazine showed up to do a story about the UMass cadets.  They met with all five cadets, then talked to the commanding officer.  They had decided to focus the entire article on me, showing "a day in the life" through pictures.  For three days, a photographer followed me everywhere.  One day, I was shocked to see this title on the cover of Coronet magazine- the story was called "Mary, Mary quite military".  I hated the article, but it still was unusual to see your name on the cover of a magazine and know that it was referring to you.

 

4) Two months after we were married, my husband was applying for a job managing a philatelic shop in St. Petersburg.  The man who was a self-made millionaire, said that he couldn't give Bob the job until he met me.  The first second that he saw me, he told Bob that he had the job.  At lunch he told Bob that the reason that he gave him the job so quickly was that I was an unusual type of woman- that most men would not see what I had to offer, and that since Bob obviously saw that quality, then he was the man for the job. 

 

5) One day I was minding my business, handling the registration desk at a Pavlovian Society convention at the Don Cesar in St.  Petersburg.  A retinue comes in with a man in the lead.  I knew that this was someone important, but had no idea how important.  He was about to walk by the desk, then stopped, came over and had a chat because he was curious about what the Pavlovian Society might be.  As he was walking away, one of the persons in the retinue, stopped and asked me if I knew who I had been talking to.  I said that I had no idea.  He told me that I had just been talking to George Bush, the future president of the United States (this was in 1979).  Another guy said "And the person that you are talking to is his son".  And then the first guy said "And so is he".  So I might have shaken hands with two future presidents (if not more) on that day.

 

So it shouldn't be a surprise that when Donald Trump saw me at Malio's that he wanted to dance with me.  I saw that all of these people were like me in a way that surprised me, but Donald Trump was more like me than anyone else that I ever met.  Maybe that was what I would have become if the Lieblers (my family of origin) had not self-destructed and had left me some of their millions.  Some of what was left of their real estate holdings became Welles Park in Glastonbury CT.  Just type Liebler land in Google and you'll see. 

 

After Donald danced with me, a much older man came up and asked me to dance.  He surprised the h... out of me when he asked me to marry him.  When I asked him how he could even think of marrying someone he didn't even know he said this.  "I always said that if I met a woman who could out-TrumpTrump, then I would marry her."  (Note: that was his thought- not mine.  It was easy to say the things that I did to Donald Trump because #1- he made it easy- and #2 I did not have the slightest idea who he was- so there was no fear of offending him or self-interest in pleasing him.  I was a person with him and he was a person with me).

 

There was something in that episode that made me feel that I was not worthy of being in that crowd- that I was less than those kinds of people.  That's when I ran away from Malio's and never went back again.  I had no idea what kind of a world I was in- but it scared me to death.  And that was the very last encounter that I ever had with the rich and famous.   At least- before they became rich and famous.

 

How often can a rose have the potential to be a swan and not even know it.  How often you can lose your potential because you are afraid what people think of you.

 

This morning, my readings told me that it is only when we remember the pain and deal with it, that we can remember the good things and celebrate them.  Celebrate with me, those swan moments, and don't be afraid to look for your own.  And even if they were not there in your past, don't be afraid to reach for them in your future.