CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT TO ALLOW FOREIGN-BORN PRESIDENT

Translated from Der Spiegel

[Sacramento] In an expected move the Governor of California, newly-elected Arnold Schwarzenegger, has made known his support for a proposal to amend the United States Constitution to permit foreign-born citizens to run for and be elected President.

Unanticipated, however, was the trickle, not to say a flow, of other foreign-born persons who made their support for such an amendment known. In North Korea, Kim Chong-Il, the notoriously short "Chairman of the National Defense Commission" (i.e., "the King") who inherited the office when his father, Kim Il Sung, died, praised Governor Schwarzenegger’s efforts: "If the United States is to be the Home of the Free and we give it our poor, our huddled politicians yearning to breathe free, and who can get past our border guards, then it is the least they can do." Rumors that he has hired a Washington lobbying group, Perx, Partee and Secks, to float a candidacy of his own, were unconfirmed and calls to the lobbyists’ offices were not returned.

Likewise, former corrupt Haitian President Jean Aristide has weighed in his praise for the possible amendment. "‘ow long do you think eet weel take, thees amendment? Eh?" he said during an interview about his regime’s prospects for survival in light of Haiti having been captured by rebel forces.

Finally, Tony Blair has been heard from on the same topic: During an interview by the Times of London, he warmly approved of the move, citing it as "further proof of the deep democratic feelings of the people of the United States, their respect for persons from other lands borne of their own immigrant roots, and the fact that I speak English fairly well." Mr. Blair pointed out that he has been an honorary member of the Bush Cabinet for well over a year, and that he has seen to it that the death of Princess Di is being reinvestigated and reinvestigated and reinvestigated.

None of the leaders who were interviewed or were quoted for this article was aware, it seems, that the last amendment to the Constitution, the 27^th, took over ten years to ratify.

Democratic members of both the Senate as well as the California Assembly, when asked for comment, were in favor: "Anything good for the Governor of California has certainly to be read in the context that he won this election, against perhaps the finest Democratic Governor in office in California. And the fact that a terminally ill gerbil could have beaten Gray Davis does not detract from Governor Schartzenegger’s moral authority."

"The Democratic Party has no business taking on this Governor on this issue, where he has shown great resilience as well as strength, " said Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, speaking for the record.