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Welcome to danaCreative.net
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My Blog
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I started keeping this blog as an attempt to make lemonade with the lemons life tossed my way.
Coincidentally, some entries are a bit more sour than others.
Although the blog entries have slowed down in frequency, I still enjoying writing and posting as
often as I can. It's hard to believe so much time has past since my first blog post back in November of 2004. Time definitely flies when you're having fun.
Thank you all for the continued support, encouragement and inspiration. I hope
you all keep reading, keep smiling, and keep cashing those bribe checks I've been sending.
For all you newcomers, thank you for taking the time. I hope you enjoy the nonsense that rattles
around in my head. Oh, BTW ..... don't forget to sign my guestbook!
Please note the blog entries are listed in reverse chronological order.
To view previous entries to my blog, please follow the date links at the bottom of this page. Thanks.
Click here to see me hard at work.
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Sunday, July 22, 2007
Letter to the Editor
The support I get from friends, my friends who employ a certain level of diligence to reading my blog entries, still
continues to astound me. I am amazed that people still take the time to read the often nonsensical musings I happen
to put together in a moment of inspiration and often times desperation. Nevertheless, they read on and comment with
both fervor and grace.
I began blogging as a form a therapy to get me through the tough times I was experiencing 3 years ago. I could
always rely on my blank ‘New Document’ in MS Word when there was no one to which I could turn. No matter what I said
or thought, no matter how quickly or painstakingly slow I typed, my electronic sheet of paper and the laptop in which it lived
allowed me to vent, cry, yell and scream without having to deal with any negative feedback or nagging static. Like the
character John Coffey in “The Green Mile”, I could have whatever was ailing me taken out, and I would be healed of my pain,
if only for one night.
I remember my earlier blogs being a mixture of attempts at witty, insightful humor and raw, unabashed emotion.
It was a sensory experience that raced across a broad spectrum of feelings and thoughts. Self doubt and loathing one
minute, humble gratefulness the next. It was, in many ways, chaotic, yet it was real and true and honest. In many
ways, it was the most honest I’d ever been and probably ever will be again.
My only experience working in publications was in college. I was the advertising manager for Tulane’s weekly newspaper
“The Hullabaloo”. Although my job required me to deal with selling ad space, producing the ad specs and making sure
there was no filler come press time, I was allowed on occasion to write for a hardly-recurring column in the paper.
I would submit 500 words and have it returned to me by the paper’s editor with ‘notes’ and ‘suggestions’ and ‘advice’ on how
to make the column ‘readable’. It was a humbling experience, but one from which I learned so much.
Today, my editor is me. I read and re-read every word I produce with the less than dexterous fluidity of every
keystroke. I sit back and analyze what I am saying versus what I am really trying to say. I think about who may
read my blog and how I vary my direction based on the audience. “What if my mom were to read this? I can’t say
that!” I highlight full paragraphs and press Delete. I pound on the Backspace button because even though I feel
it and even though I typed it, I can’t possible post it. I am concerned not only with the grammatical structure of a
sentence, but also with the political stability of my network of friends. Most importantly, I am concerned with what Lee might
think.
Please don’t misunderstand what I am saying. I like to think I remain honest and true with what I write and how
I write it. The difference, however, between my blogs in 2004 and those of today is that before I used to write in order
to explore, express and confront my feelings. I was alone with no one readily available to me. Sure I had plenty
of friends, many in whom I confided from time to time my issues, fears and concerns; however none of them were there in the
middle of the night when the rage bordered on lunacy and the anguish was exhausting.
Today, I have an angel that is my therapist. I have an angel that is my editor-in-chief. More importantly,
I have an angel that is my best friend and is with me always. She held my hand during those dark nights and helped me
exorcise the demons that before had nowhere to go but on the pages of my early blogs. She cleared my head and helped me see
things in a new perspective. In a Nutshell, she helped me Change My Mind. : )
As a result, I feel I now write with a greater sense of clarity and comfort. Sure there will always be struggles
and debates and differing opinions on various topics of conversation. But for the most part, the rage, fear and anguish
are all gone. I still write for myself, yet I find I also write – or should I say express – for those who cannot.
I am comfortable with my life being pretty much an open book. I know, however, there are many out there who keep their
toils and tribulations hidden and tucked away from their friends and the people who love them.
I had a friend tell me recently that I was able to ‘blog out loud’ what she had been feeling but was never able to verbalize
on her own, and that doing so was helpful to her. It was a humbling comment and one that made me feel honored to be
able to affect her in such a positive way. I know I could not have done so without the strength, guidance and support
of my sometimes boss and always partner ….. that angel who I like to call Lee.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Fizzle Factor
Ted Williams once said the hardest thing to do in all of sports is to hit a round ball with a round bat. I don't necessarily
agree (see quadruple lutz), but I do understand what he was thinking. You have to have a culmination of hand-eye coordination,
bat speed, power and – of course – a pitch you can hit. You have to balance all these factors to just make contact with the
ball, and for most players who do they fail to get on base safely 70% - 75% of the time.
In life, everything is about
balance. Work, kids, home, chores, bills, weather, friends, weekend plans, charities, parents ……… the list goes on and on.
Sometimes my bat speed is good. Sometimes my hand-eye coordination is dead on. Sometimes life serves up a pitch that's
perfect to hit. Yet lately, I seem to be living my life below the Mendoza Line (that's .200 for the sports-analogy impaired
and it's NOT a good thing). I don't know what it is, but I just can't seem to get everything to come together the way it
should. It's aggravating, like a splinter in you pinky finger, and there's definitely nothing splendid about it.
One
of my favorite ESPN personalities, Dan Patrick, announced this week he is leaving the network in August. Mr. Patrick sites
the need for new challenges and the fact he began taking his day-to-day for granted as the reason for his decision to leave.
That got me thinking about one of my favorite debate topics: Is it better to go out with a bang or just fade away?
Better
to go POP or fizzle, fizzle, fizzle? It's this fizzle factor that has me writing to you at 2:30 AM. I feel that as of late,
I can't sustain passion for an extended period of time. No, I am not talking about issues resolved by a little blue pill.
I am talking about not being able to care like I used to. It seems that every time I am confronted with the slightest bit
of resistance or challenge in something I am trying to accomplish, my passion for that item plummets from ten to zero in a
flash. I do my typical shoulder-shrug F-it and walk away, mentally if not physically. I let it all fizzle into oblivion and
find something new about which to care.
I know part of the situation is lack of patience on my part. Rather than taking
a deep breath and giving things time, I go hyper-OCD and need everything done my way ASAP. And if it can't be done, then
I want nothing to do with it. My way or the highway, baby. Just like Frank Sinatra, you can take it or leave it. What I
have found is that most people tend to leave it – thank you very much – and the highway is where everyone else seems to be.
I've found that I have allowed this fizzle factor to alienate friends and push away those I love. I've morphed into this
persona that I used to see in my dad and always hated. It's that stubborn, short-fused, last-word-having, it's gotta' be
on my terms kinda' attitude that no one every wants to deal with, let alone associate with.
So what happened? Where
did this all come from? Why am I allowing something I clearly recognize as bad to continue to grow and expand? I really
don't know what the answer is. It's not like there is an event or an item to which I can point and identify as the crux of
this issue. It's going to take some time, soul searching, evaluating and lots of blogging to figure this one out.
What
I do know is that I feel like I've been in the on-deck circle for several innings now thinking too much about what I need
to do to hit the ball. "Choke up, focus, shift your weight, plant your feet …….." I think it may be as simple as
just stepping up to the plate and swinging for the fences.
1:51 am est
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Watching, Thinking and Thanking
I'm a technology buff. That is, my day to day incorporates so many facets of techno-gizmos, I don't
think I can function without them. Thanks to one of the greatest inventions ever made – the digital video recorder –
something special in my life came to an end today. As we celebrate the birthday of our nation today, I need to take
a moment to mourn the passing of one of my favorite shows.
I am a big fan of Aaron Sorkin. He's the writer and
creator of the SportsNight, The West Wing, and
most recently, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. I am still flabbergasted by how
a show as brilliant, witty, engaging and conversationally important as Studio 60 could fail to capture the ratings it needed
to survive. Anyone familiar with Sorkin's style will tell you that even though the dialogue in his work is loaded with topic
after topic after topic of current issues, the arguments for both sides of these issues are presented in valid and many times
humorous fashion.
Maybe I am in the minority when I say I enjoy being challenged to think while I am being entertained.
Maybe most viewers don't want to have to analyze or reconsider their already established positions on matters such as race,
politics and religion. Some will say it's not Hollywood's job to have us question authority and ponder on matters of
greater significance. However, as I sat on my couch watching the series finale of Studio 60, that is all I found myself doing.
The premise of last four episodes centered on two distinct plot lines. The first dealt with the president
of the network – played brilliantly and stunningly by Amanda Peet - being rushed to the hospital, delivering her baby via
emergency cesarean, and then battling post-surgical complications. The second plot dealt with the Airman brother of
a cast member being captured in Afghanistan by Al Qaeda forces and held hostage.
For four episodes, we saw the
anguish this event brought to the family and friends of the character. We saw how they explored the possible use of
a private kidnapping and ransom company (think Russell Crowe's 'Proof of Life') to retrieve him. The show presented
heartfelt and emotional arguments as to what was the best course of action in that situation. Over the course
of the last four episodes, the show made me cry, made me laugh, but more importantly, it made me think.
It made me
think about what I would do if I were in that situation. It made me think about how far I'd be willing to go when it
was a member of my family that was at risk. It made me question how much of my beliefs and ideologies I'd abandon or
dismiss altogether if the life of my own flesh and blood were on the line.
"They fund their jihad by selling heroine to the prostitutes on the sunset strip and by kidnapping
people. You can't pay a ransom to those people. Not ever!"
"Well, the way I see it, that's my parents'
kid."
I have two kids and I know there is nothing I wouldn't do to keep them safe and out of harms way.
It's easy to casually quote Gene Rodenberry and say the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. That is, of
course, until the few include those you love. I like to think I would not hesitate to lay down my life, jump in front
of the proverbial train if you will, for the benefit of my family. I also know that in that hypothetical situation,
my mom would grab me by the collar, pull me back and take my place. There is no emotion greater than the love you feel
for your children, and it is a love that leaves us blind to rational thought or logical behavior. It is this provocative
response and intelligent struggle that makes me love what Sorkin has done in his previous three shows and his numerous screenplays
– The American President, Malice, A Few Good Men, just to name a few. I am truly sorry to see Studio 60 come to an end.
I will miss the characters and their well-timed banter. I will miss the humor-laced dialogue and all those moments when
I'd hit the rewind button on my DVR just so I can see it again. Ultimately, I will miss the feeling of cerebral satisfaction
after having watched a show and knowing my brain got a bit of a workout. Like this blog entry, thinking usually leads
to action. Given all we have going on in our world, from a war against terror to individuals' battles against cancer
and everything else in between, I like to think we can always stand to do a little more pondering, reflecting and discussing
of the issues that are important to us. Our fore-fathers were not complacent in pursuing their beliefs and affecting
change. They established the foundation that grants us the freedoms we enjoy today. This includes the ability
to be free thinkers and free doers. On this Fourth of July, cherish this freedom, celebrate it, and take the time to
think about everything that is important to you.
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