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| 1984 Photo Portrait by Horst |
From How to Be Attractive, Joan Bennett,
1943:
How Is Your Heart?
What! Why, everyone admits that women are sweeter, more understanding, gentler than men. Wait a moment.
Those nice words aren't true. Kindness, like all the other virtues and vices, doesn't belong to one sex. If we
are no worse than men, neither are better. We belong to the human race before we belong to a sex group.
It is impossible to read and understand headlines without beginning to recall the words of great religious philosophers.
"Faith, hope, love --- but the greatest of these is love . . . without love we are as tinkling cymbals . . . do unto
others as you would have them do unto you . . . love thy neighbor as thyself." How painfully we are learning that these
weren't impossible ideals, but practical rules that man can't live without! We destroy ourselves when we don't follow
them. The world made Hitler. You and I by our indifference helped this monstrous thing to be born and grow strong.
And now we must destroy it --- but it will come again in a different guise unless we, ourselves, stop feeding its source of
strength.
When we turn our faces away from our own neglected people . . . when, shocked and hurt to see fellow humans living like animals,
we console ourselves that they want no better, deserve no better . . . when we indulge in feeding our own poor pride by pretending
we are "nicer" than other people . . . when we judge people not by themselves but by ugly little labels of race and color
. . . when we sit on the sidelines and watch life, but never become fighters for fairness . . . we are busily at work nursing the
soil that will send up another Hitler. For he is the embodiment of all of our own cruelty and arrogance.
I don't remember when or how I got hold of the yardstick of kindness. Certainly it drops from my hands too frequently.
My critics and my friends will testify that I'm impatient, quick-tempered, and caustic. I have even been guilty of ugly
generalizations. But brutal and unfair as I have been and probably shall be, I have lost the knack of effective, damaging
cruelty. It didn't disappear by any reasoning process or abstract philosophy. I won't even tell the actual turning-point.
But it was typically woman-fashion. You see, it is easy to love babies; it is impossible for normal women to hate
them, mistreat them, or even think of them as anything but babies for whom we offer, each in her own way, a plea that life
will be good to them.
When I find myself labeling groups, when I discover myself being indifferent, overly concerned with my small and still sheltered
personal life, I think of those other women who face a world without hope for their children. And I watch that careless
word, fight in my own way to do my very small part to give all little mortals a chance at happiness. It's selfishness
in the highest degree. I have children of my own. I want their world to be clean and free. If I help to
rob other children of that world, what possible assurance have I that my own won't live in the hopeless one of discrimination,
poverty, sorrow?
I grow a little embarrassed, knowing I am not qualified to discuss these things glibly or as a personification of them.
And I needn't write more --- great, gentle, wise men have recorded this way and rule of life in the Old and New Testament.
But it had to be mentioned --- even in a none too serious book on beauty, by a far from great, gentle, or wise woman.
For there is no greater beauty than that brought to the face by compassion. There is no beauty or loveliness without
it.
All textual information on the "Biography" pages collected from the following:
How to Be Attractive, Joan Bennett, 1943; June-July 1977 issue,
Films in Review, "Joan Bennett" article by Ronald Bowers; The Glamour Girls, James Robert Parrish, 1975;
The Bennett Playbill, Joan Bennett and Lois Kibbee, 1970; Walter Wanger: Hollywood Independent, Matthew
Bernstein, 1994; The Bennetts, An Acting Family, Brian Kellow, 2004.
Joan Bennett, Diana Anderson, Diana Markey, Melinda Markey, Melinda
Beno, Stephanie Wanger, Stephanie Guest, Shelley Wanger, Shelley Mortimer, John Marion Fox, Gene Markey, Walter Wanger, Richard
Bennett, Constance Bennett, Barbara Bennett, Barbara Downey, Adrienne Morrison, Adrienne Bennett, Mabel Bennett, Mabel Morrison,
Adrienne Ralston Fox, www.joanbennett.net
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