Well…I don’t know if you’re like me, but for some reason I get my best ideas at around 11:30 at night when I’m trying to go to sleep and my brain won’t shut off.  As my ideas develop they tend to get more and more elaborate as well (who’d of thunk it!).

 

My latest invention (with my mom’s help…BIG TIME) is a photo album (kinda) that Bekah can play with in Ethiopia until we get there. 

 

I cut out pics, made a frame for them out of scrap booking paper, stamped the back with “Tiny Little Feet, Great Big Blessing”, and laminated them.  I’ve washed them, so she should be able to stick them in her mouth and everything!  Child Proof!

 

 My mom made an adorable little purse type thing with a Velcro closure (adorable!).  I sprayed the purse with my perfume so that at least Bekah may recognize my scent when we arrive.

 

All that for a little “Photo Play Pocket”.  Let’s hope she likes it! 

 

I miss Bekah.  How is that possible?  I have never even met our littlest Marr and I already miss her.  I am so ready to have her snuggled up in my arms.  Even after four children I still live in oblivion of how hard transition could be.  It was tough in some ways with Max, but I have to believe in the joy of love.  I can’t immediately love the pain out of her, but God can use Thomas and I to do exactly that.  Love is what leads us to make tough decisions for our children.  Love leads us to discipline our little (and not so little) ones.  Love may lead us to doctors, or counseling….who knows!  Love also leads to blessings and happiness.

 

It makes me a tad sad, when authorities in adoption say, “You can’t expect to just love the problems out of your child.”  I have read this a couple of times.  This makes me think that this “authority” doesn’t know what real love is.  It’s not just snuggling and kisses, but making the tough decisions as well. 

 

Is the stubbornness that we have battled with within Max easy? No, but it helped him survive in the orphanage until we came and held our little boy.  Now we work and pray for the direction (towards God) to focus his stubbornness.  This doesn’t go just for our children God called us to, but for the children God let develop in me. 

 

They didn’t invent the phrase “tough love” for nothing!

 

All this is to say that I miss Bekah.  I miss the fact that I have never seen her smile.  I miss the fact that she has never fallen asleep on my chest with her little hand curled through my hair.  I miss tucking her in at night or comforting her crying.  I miss knowing how she looks when she is mad.

 

 I miss Bekah.

 

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So the prayers begin…..

I pray that she stays healthy until we come get her. 

I pray for a travel date to go and bring our little girl home.

But most of all I pray in thanks to God for His love in discipline, in listening, in bringing us help when we need it.  I thank Him for His love of Holding us, Hugs, and Kisses on our foreheads (don’t tell me you haven’t felt that) and the love that gave us His son, not just for me, but also for my sons and daughters.

 

Thank you Father.

I just received a mountain of paperwork, suggestions, forms, and everything else you could imagine.  I was a little overwhelmed, wondering if I would miss something. After all I am not only taking care of myself and Becca, but T.C. too.  There’s a ton of little things I need to take care of.  You know what though?  This weekend I am going to sleep! I will tackle the mountain on Monday!

 

My arm is actually a little sore as well.  (Boo Hoo…lol) I received 3 shots today! T.C. got two.  I was lucky and had typhoid and such 3 years ago when we adopted Max.  Really, it was no big deal…UNTIL…we received the Meningococcal…OUCH! I was first, so I was a good mom and just smiled and said “Oh! That stings a little bit.”   The needle was the size of a pencil…well…ok, I may be exaggerating a tad.   You would think after giving birth to three children I’d be the “Mominator” (you have to say that in your best “Arnold” voice).

 

BUT….I must say this…I’m celebrating the mountains of paperwork and I’m praising God that we have to get shots…. because in 5 to 10 weeks we will be holding our youngest and most fragile little gift from God. 

 

It never in my life occurred to me that I would find joy in a large (and long) needle plunging into my flesh (it felt like to the bone) and being held there for 60 seconds as they slowly drained the syringe.  Next time someone says to me “God will work good through the pain.” I will give a giant “AMEN!!”

 

Mommy can’t wait to kiss behind your little ear Becca Ayane!

 

Ok, so I must admit we went shopping the moment we found out we are having a girl!  I gave almost everything away after we adopted Max.  That’ll teach me!  It’s like when you give away everything after you have a baby because you’re sure this is your last baby.  That basically insures that that baby is not your last.

 

I bought some of the cutest little summer things, but unfortunately I have not a clue what size she’s in!  She’s so tiny that she’s only in 3 to 6 month clothes now, but she will be getting proper nutrition and will probably grow A LOT before it’s time to fly up and get her.  I have got the shopping bug bad! 

 

The problem is that we have the expenses of the adoption and on top of that we have to buy completely new baby stuff.  It’ll be fun though.  Juggling finances is something we all have to do at times.  There’s not much hope of a baby shower for a fifth child (lol).  Though, because I have some asking, we did register at Babies R Us (mostly) and register for a few things at Target.  It’s fun! Pregnancy AND shopping with no morning sickness! Though no one could rival Michelle for the green shade she turns.

 

Well…I’ve also been researching vaccinations.  Wow…we are going to feel like a pincushion.  There is just so much to do! YEAH!

 

I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off and have to run! Have a fantastic, allergy free day!

 

 

Tonight we had a phone consult with a pediatrician that specializes in international adoption.  We had given him Ayane’s file and asked for a consultation.  Just as with Max’s adoption, we wanted to be prepared.  We kind of think of it as similar to a ultrasound.  If something is wrong with your baby you (and your doctors) can be prepared at birth to help your child in any way possible.

 

Dr. Dahliwal (Flower Mound, TX.) is AWESOME! We emailed the file to him and after careful consideration and evaluation he talked to us about what we may expect.  We were in the midst of a big storm and the light kept on flickering.  We were afraid we’d lose the call, but it held on just long enough!

 

After talking to Dr. Dhaliwal about 10 minutes or so he won me over with “Do you have experience in the medical field?”. He was really wondering.  For those of you who know me, the answer is a resounding “No”, but you also realize I am an avid researcher and like to know as much as I can about the subject I’m talking about (especially when it has to do with my kids).  It was nice to know that, for once, I wasn’t floundering.

 

He had a wonderful sense of humor and was very cool.  I don’t think I’ve ever called a doctor cool before (smile).

 

He was very positive, but realistic as well.  He said, “I like parents to be prepared for the worst, but hope for the best”

 

He feels she probably doesn’t have TB (though it’s not guaranteed), but may have a minor infection somewhere.  This can even be as minor as ringworm or a skin infection or something.

 

His biggest concern was her malnutrition.  He told us some interesting facts.  He said that the last place for a child to lose weight is the face (she has a full face, but very thin/no muscle tone or fat body).  He also said her weight and height isn’t even close to being on the charts, but her head circumference was normal.  The head is also the last thing to be affected by protein malnourishment.  He will try to judge her age by a bone density test when we return with her to the states.  He said he just couldn’t guess if she will just bounce back from the lack of nourishment or if there may be struggles.

 

The second thing he was most concerned about was attachment issues.  He said that since she was with her biological parents for a year and then relinquished we may (or may not) be facing some issues.  This let me know right away that he had experience.  I think I would worry about a doctor that didn’t bring that up.  He was very pleased by our knowledge about the issues and he became one of my all time favorite doctors with the following phrase “You know you are doing God’s will”.  He was AWESOME!

 

He may not have had a lot of answers. He admitted himself that he has seen kids flourish that came to the states very unhealthy and that he’s seen children go downhill that looked extremely health.  He can’t guess what we may face, but wants us to be prepared that all may not be roses.

 

What he doesn’t realize is that Ayane’s name means “Beautiful Flower” and just having her in our lives make it smell sweeter, no matter what trials we may face.

It seemed so long ago, yet it was only 5 ½ months ago that Thomas and I sat down and signed our signatures on a packet of what seemed to be non descript papers.  Yet they were papers that would change the makeup of our family forever.  On Friday, September 22^nd Thomas and I signed our contract to adopt from Ethiopia.  We looked at the long days ahead and squared our shoulders…preparing for a wait.  After all, we were told it would take approximately 18 months from the signing of the contract until we brought our newest little one home. 

 

Our home study just FLEW by.  It actually coincided with the last home visit we need for Max’s adoption and we were able to combine them.  Our Dossier was completed relatively quickly and we sent in our fingerprints for immigration approval.  It had been taking four months to receive approval back.  Don’t you just love waiting? Smile….Five and a half weeks later we had our approval in hand.  It only took us two months to get all paperwork together and then be put on the waiting list.  It was the end of November at this point.  We’ve been told that that is pretty quick.  Once we were put on the waiting list we were told it would most likely be around 12 months to receive a referral.

 

Month after month Thomas and I scanned the waiting children list.  We wondered if this was how our child would come to us.  We know of many predominantly healthy children that were originally on this list.  Truthfully though, no child is perfect and there are certain disabilities that don’t really seem like disabilities to us…just differences.

 

After three and a half months we opened the monthly email sent to us by our agency.  We quickly read through the information and scanned down to the “Waiting Child” list.  There on the list was a sweet little girl of only fifteen months old.  She had (has) these huge eyes that look so sad…both my husband, mom, and Michelle later commented on that.  She was dressed in a little boys navy blue shirt and had almost no hair.  She was (is) the most beautiful child.  I kept returning to look at her picture.

 

When Thomas arrived home and after we chatted a little bit I said “Oh…honey, The agency’s monthly email came today.  There was this beautiful little girl on it that is only 15 months old.  I know she’s a little older than we had planned, but…”

 

Thomas looked at me and grinned, “Then why isn’t she ours?” he laughed.  He had NEVER said anything like that before. 

 

We requested the file….so did quite a few other families.  We reviewed it and sent it off to a pediatrician that specialized in international adoption.  He was supposed to get back to us in three days, but as we waited….nothing.  Thomas and I couldn’t stop thinking about this little one.  My mom printed out her file for us and we researched EVERYTHING online.  Trying to be smart, but knowing we were going to ask to be “matched” with her and ask to be matched we did.  That was Wednesday, March 7^th…..exactly 15 months to the day of our sweet little one’s birthday.  That day I received the following email through one of my “Yahoo Groups”.

________________________________________________________________

 

YOUR LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM
(A Daily Internet Devotional by Steve Goodier)

One summer, a drought threatened the crop in a small town. On a hot
and dry Sunday, the village parson told his congregation, "There
isn't anything that will save us except to pray for rain. Go home,
pray, believe, and come back next Sunday ready to thank God for
sending rain."

The people did as they were told and returned to church the following
Sunday. But as soon as the parson saw them, he was furious. "We
can't worship today. You do not yet believe," he said.

"But," they protested, "we prayed, and we do believe."

"Believe?" he responded. "Then where are your umbrellas?"

The story applies to all of us. There are those people who leave
their umbrellas at home. Throughout their lives, they are merely
hoping their wishes and prayers will bear fruit, but they expect
little. Others expect their dreams and desires to come to pass. It
is as if they journey through life always prepared for something to
happen.
Today, how will you approach that which you are yearning for?

Will you expect your prayers and work to bring about hoped-for
results?

Will you bring your umbrella?

__________________________________________________________________

 

That really hit home to me.  So much I wrote my own blog about it.  I needed that encouragement.  I scrambled around my house and I found an old umbrella.  It was actually a baseball one that belonged to my son.  I opened it up and put it in the play area of our house.  I was determined to expect rain.

 

The following day, on Thursday, my daughter had to look up spelling words in the Bible…the first one was “adopt”.

 

On Friday I went to a local…huge…and awesome Christian store here named Mardels.  On our way out the cashier looked at me and asked “Do you have just boys?”.  “No” I said “I have two of each and two of them are little…6 and 4”.  “Do you think they’d like a free leftover we have that we were giving away with Hermie Videos?”.  She then pulled out two umbrellas……

 

Finally on Saturday I was reading a fiction book and it said “You have to plan as though it is going to happen”

 

I felt a little like the Israelites on Sunday.  God had given me little comforts along the way, but I was doubting.  I kept on looking at her picture….my best friend Michelle had the same problem (smile).  She said, “If you guys don’t get her we will be so devastated!”.  She has a knack for not letting me feel so alone in my insanity (lol).

 

Sunday was a very long day.

 

Monday, March 12th rolled around.  Today was the match meeting.  I tried to have faith…to expect the rain, but was afraid….

 

I finally decided to set down and write the things I would need to do this week once we were matched (positive thinking).  Two minutes into the list the phone rang with our agency’s name listed on it “Kat…how are you doing today?” she asked “Good” I said (while really feeling like I was going to throw up).  After a brief pause she said with a smile in her voice, “You were matched with Ayane today.” I have to tell you the truth…I started blubbering…sobbing.  I hadn’t been sleeping well.  I knew she was our daughter.  I felt so weak. 

 

Thomas thought the worst of course when I called sobbing.   Poor Thomas…I would have messed with him that way if I had thought of it though…just kidding.

 

Anyway….It rain…it poured…the blessings are washing over us like the warm ocean waves….an umbrella didn’t cut it…we need more of a swimming pool!

 

We await anxiously the birth into our family of Rebecca Ayane Emmali! We can’t wait to hold you our little sunshine!

 

One last thing, the prayers of our fellow warriors helped create this tidal wave of blessing…thank you.

 

Rebecca “Becca”

Ayane (her Ethiopian name)

Emmali (Pronounce Emily; Her Great Grandmothers middle name is Emmaline).

 

 

PRAYER REQUESTS:

Please pray for Ayane’s health.  As we stated before, she has some health concerns.

Please pray for her biological family and that they may have peace in Christ.

Please pray that financially everything falls into place.

And most importantly…

      Thank God for His multiple blessings.  He amazes us and we come nowhere near to

      deserving the blessings he has given us!!!