At this time one year ago, after MANY signs leading my husband and family to Ethiopia I went down to the Church building to retrieve the lesson plan for the following Sunday.  When I pulled the plan, it was about the Ethiopian Eunuch.  In a moment of complete clarity I called my husband and said “Honey, I know what God wants us to do.”

 

Amazingly enough today was that lesson in our class.  One year exactly since that moment in time.  We have come a full cycle, from the lesson that finally brought a clarity in what God had in store for us TO leaving to pick up the child of our hearts.  It’s amazing what one-year can bring.

 

Tomorrow T.C. and I will be leaving for a 10-day journey (12 if you include travel…smile) to pick up our little Rebekah Ayane Emmali .  We are so blessed.  There are times I have been letting Satan sneak in letting anxiety take over, but God is in control.  How much we can fit in a suitcase doesn’t matter.  We are following God and that’s what matters. 

 

We live so much day-to-day normalness that it is such an amazing feeling when you can really view what God has asked you to do.  It is such an amazing feeling knowing God told us we had a little girl in Ethiopia and knowing right now….this second…we are in His will.  We blow it so much that even through the anxiety of leaving my children here (yes, I will miss my husband terribly, but there is something about your babies) we have found peace and trust in the fact that for once we were listening (smile).

 

Thank you all for your continued prayers.  They have blessed our lives more than you will ever know.  Thank you.

 

Trip to Ethiopia:

Leaving with my son on Tuesday, May 29^th

Arriving in Addis Ababa Wednesday, May 30^th

Birth Family Visit from Thursday, May 31^st to Friday, June 1st

Leaving Addis Ababa on Friday, June 8^th

Arriving at home on Saturday, June 9th

Eleven days and counting! Eleven days until I hold my little girl.  Eleven days until my heart is complete with my child in my arms.  Eleven days until God’s plan is fulfilled for this adoption.  ELEVEN DAYS!!! I am SOOO excited! Could you guess?

 

We have some things to accomplish before then.  It really has been God’s perfect timing.  Next week is the last week of school for the kids.  We have awards night, kindergarten graduation, and Olympic day.  Not to mention that the state of Texas has a new requirement of a home visit within 30 days before placement (Thursday of next week).  Guess what I’m going to be doing this weekend?  Painting and cleaning….lol.

 

It’s odd how people talk about Post Adoption Depression, not because it doesn’t TOTALLY happen at times, but because I get the “blues” waiting.  I go from hectic planning to wishing it was tomorrow.  I am insane…lol…I really am saner most of the time.  My friends are all laughing now.

 

It seems my list of things to bring just gets longer.  I just bought and expensive transformer in hopes that I can power our DVD player with it, charge our cameras, and of course (for my twelve year old) charge my PSP (yes, I did say “my”.  My brother gave it to me for Christmas for this trip).  I now need to get some snacks, plastic bags for diapers, formula (yes, I know I can get it there, but I would rather not “have” to).  I’m sure there’s other things, who know…lol…pure craziness!

 

Our travel dates changed slightly for those keeping track.  They postponed our embassy date for a week and now instead of leaving on the 25^th of May we are leaving four days later on the 29^th.  We’re just staying a little longer and coming back on the 8^th of June.  See…eleven days until we travel!  Sick of hearing that yet?

 

Well, the kids are quiet and my husband is about to walk in the door, so I’m gonna run and grasp a little silence before the insanity begins.  Have you noticed a trend here…the word insanity comes up an awful lot…hmmmm

 

Oh Ya, Have I told you it’s only eleven days?!!! LOL

 

 

On March 12th we were officially matched with our newest daughter Bekah...yet we waited.

On March 19th we officially accepted the referral (because a lot of paperwork! Smile)...yet we waited.

Now on March 8th we finally got our travel email! Do you know what this means?! YES! She has been through court and is legally ours!!!! NO MORE WAITING! (ok, so maybe just a little bit!)

 

We don't have our flight info yet, but our Embassy Date is May 28th!

 

I will post more later, but I'm too scattered to write anymore now! YEAHHHHH!!!!!

There are times where I can’t do anything right.  I say the wrong things constantly.  I am a failure.  Though my faith that God is in control is strong, my faith that everything is going to be okay (at times) is weak.  I feel like the Israelites who saw Manna come from heaven, who saw the red sea part, yet so quickly they forgot.

 

There are many times in my life that I live in prayer.  I feel so inadequate for God’s purposes.  I let the anxiety of not knowing what’s going to happen invade even my actions.  I snap at my kids or stalk the computer waiting for my “travel email”.  I eat…yes, I admit it…I unfortunately use food for comfort.  Yet God, in His infinite wisdom, can use me in my weakness.

 

Paul wrote in II Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest in me.”

 

I find that specifically in this adoption and other areas of my life I try hard not to let others see my anxiety and doubt.  I try not to let other’s see what a failure I am.  I’m not saying this from a depressed state, but “we all fall short of the glory of God”.  It’s a fact.  I am weak.  I sin.  I doubt.  I’m not always the example others should look to, BUT…I am allowed to be weak, because Christ…God is strong. 

 

 He is glorified in my weakness, knowing it is not me that is reflected when I do mirror God….but Him.  People cannot look at me and think or say “Wow, she is just so perfect.”  It’s obvious I’m not….wow, is it obvious….none of us are.  In our weaknesses….our failures, we make it glaringly obvious the good that God does work through us.  

 

I set here with my eyes brimming with tears and recognize that I lack so much, but that God doesn’t.  I set here in my weakness praying that through this shell I call my body, He may be glorified. 

 

I don’t do well with limbo.  I don’t do well with not knowing what is going to happen.  I don’t do well with wait.  Yet in this weakness and anxiety I can succumb to the peace God has intended for me.  I can let God work to His glory, not mine and can offer myself up “as a living sacrifice” praying that I can learn to reflect Him in all areas of my life. 

 

God is good and I’m glad I can reflect Him in my weakness.  If I couldn’t I would be in trouble.